___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

      

                             

 

Is there anything like divine sex or sex is just a routine thing that doesn't mean much. 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

                          

 

And I'm having these conqueror fantasies once again. 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

                        

 

Will a perfect man be able to arouse me and get me turned on?

 

My biggest fear with a nice guy was that he won't be able to make me horny. He won't be pushy enough. 

 

 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

                      

 

Sex is just as elusive as spirituality. 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

                      

 

 

My real name is Janessa not Tyler. 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                               

 

I had mixed feelings about sex and sexuality 

As though it should be something permanent. It should be something ethereal. 

The deviant sexual desires are just temporary and are probably associated with the Reptilian lobe of the brain. 

At some point I'll just outgrow sex. I won't need sex anymore. I won't be attached to it. I'm not sure. 

All the sex stuff feels good right now. Masturbating is a lot of pleasure for sure 

But this pleasure like any other forms of pleasure is mostly superficial and overly fantasized due it's taboo secretive nature. 

The human mind has a tendency to be attracted to things that are considered taboo because we get more curious about it. 

Once you outgrow sex maybe it doesn't look extraordinary...maybe 

 

 

I never had sex. I will probably never know how sex feels. 

I'll only know a bit about sex through masturbating and orgasming. That's all I will ever know regarding sex. 

 

                         

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                              

 

Do I feel unfortunate that I never had sex? 

Probably yes. 

A bit inside. 

Like I'm missing out on something big in my life. 

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                                   

 

But it's okay. One day I won't think about sex anymore. It won't be that significant that I never had sex and probably will never have sex because of all the repression inside.

My sexual repression happened at a young age. My mom used to constantly warn me not to have sex 

 

So that's what I did. Having sex was considered wrong. Having sexual feelings was considered wrong. Having sex with a boyfriend was considered wrong 

 

I grew up feeling shamed about anything sexual. 

I didn't feel like having it with my first and second boyfriend and they didn't help either 

If a woman is already uncomfortable about sex, you can't send her a porn video, she might freak out. 

I always had hang ups and insecurities around sex 

 

As I had more relationships, I realized sexual chemistry dictated a lot in a relationship 

It wasn't something to be taken for granted 

                         

 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                       

 

My ex boyfriend got fully nude for me 

 

I don't know if I was comfortable doing the same for him 

I feel like I can't be nude in front of many men. It would be impossible. The fear, the shame will take over and I might feel nervous. 

But I won't be nervous being nude with a guy in front of whom I can take off my clothes and not feel much inhibition. 

                           

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                            

 

The whole thing about nudity is all about safety. 

I think women possess an inherent safety switch. They feel more safe with some men than with others. They can feel it inside. 

For example, I might feel safer being nude in front of some men much more than with other men. Just certain types of men. 

Some men communicate safety much better non verbally than others. I have seen this much more often with the domineering patriarchal kind of men. They tend to communicate domination but also safety, security and protection much more than the boy kind of men 

Is this because of how our mind and brain is ingrained and wired around the idea of fatherhood? Because fathers are always dominating, disciplining and signaling protection at the same time? 

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                           

 

 

I feel that patriarchal men tend to communicate safety just like matriarchal women tend to communicate love and care. 

We're inherently attracted what we're familiar with and we're familiar with our parents and so these archetypes are what we are looking for while looking for a mate. I'll call this familial attraction. 

 

That's why incest is so irresistible and any porn associated with incest instantly turns us on.. All of these deviant sexual fantasies are much more intensely capable of making even a gay toad straight. 

Since familiarity is deeply entrenched in our brains by our parents, girls are always looking for a father figure or a daddy in the guy they fall in love with, a protective figure that signals safety and guys generally fall for a woman who signifies care, affection and love. The inverse is true as well. That is, guys also fall in love with child like girls because they signify the innocence of daughters and it gives a chance to the man to enact his patriarchal role with a submissive child like woman. This polarity goes both ways. 

Also some femdom matriarchal kind of women look for boyish child like men, then they get to enact their controlling, dominant mommy mothering aspects in the relationship. Such women Generally like beta guys 

I usually fall for the Daddy kind of guys. 

                            

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm looking deeper into sex abuse scandals by the church and the causes behind such deviant sexuality 

 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Links of videos that deal with sexual abuse in the church. 

https://youtu.be/AK_eFaqfb6o

 

https://youtu.be/C8vDc6dg0So

 

https://youtu.be/qfgUu2pGsI8

 

https://youtu.be/V4_hoy_fJWc

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Part 2 links

 

https://youtu.be/AUB52BatlPw

 

https://youtu.be/4kIie8fViPg

 

https://youtu.be/lENggh8c0js

 

https://youtu.be/Yv4QboiTGX4

 

 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Part 3 links

https://youtu.be/bMK2o60trR8

 

 

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Part 4 links

 

https://youtu.be/qwRuCGCaQqg

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Part 5 links

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Are we afraid of suffering? 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Would we want to side with those who are machiavellian if we were protected at all costs.. 

Would we coin a term called necessary evil? 

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

What is love? 

What is sex? 

What is romance? 

I'm just beginning to explore... 

 

Despite having been in relationships, I still don't have a clear cut idea on human relationships, survival, romance, sex etc. 

Some things are just as they are. But they are like teeth, if you don't take care, you'll have plaque building on it. 

Similarly unrestrained sexuality will come at its own cost. 

These things are wild at their base. These are base instincts. When untamed they are going to run wild even leading you to incest

 

I have had incestuous deviant sexual fantasies where I imagined a uncle like relative figure exploiting, raping and having sex with me. Probably because of my own childhood abuse related experiences. 

The mind begins to normalize these things. Why why why? 

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson