___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                                   

 

It seems like it's a garb that women develop over time because society doesn't give them enough love same way society has incels, rapists, exploitative players, deceitful guys, unhappy toxic males etc because their needs are unmet so they develop behaviors as a coping mechanism so we blame their character, shame them, mock them instead of understanding the reasons behind their behaviors. Easy to shame and mock. Difficult to understand. Same goes with women's behaviors. Instead of blaming the person, it's about owning that this is what our society is and many are left with unmet needs and of course trauma. The objective is to not hate, shame or criticize or put down someone for their character flaws but to turn your Masculinity and take charge and embrace the flaws of the opposite sex (this is a part of your abundance as a male) where you give room for someone imperfect to get love from you. It's called being non-judgmental and showing compassion. This part of your Masculinity makes you a strong person. It shows your capacity to love a woman who is not perfect. A boy will judge a slut. Laugh at her. A man will love a slut. That's the difference. 

We don't become our best selves by pairing with someone who is perfect. In fact our best selves are tested, challenged and displayed even created when we are paired with someone who is not perfect. That's how God is testing our love. It's always easy to love someone who is perfect. It's always easy to see beauty in something that is already beautiful. But we don't become strong in life by facing easy situations. It's the harder things that make us stronger. It's the challenging things that  bring out the best in us. 

This also applies to femininity.if a woman always stayed with a perfect man, what will she gain for herself? But if she stayed with an asshole, her capacity to understand and forgive will improve, maybe she will even fall in love with an incel or a violent person, maybe her love will make him a better person 

This situation already happened in my life. My ex was a brutal player violent asshole kind of a person. He used to have deep anger issues towards women because he wasn't loved as a child. But when I came into his life, instead of judging him as a violent person or an asshole, I decided to show him compassion and forgiveness and show him my love and trust, and within like a year, he was a changed man, my love had transformed him to be less hateful towards women, he became less angry, his anger was the lowest level from the time I had met him, he was not completely changed but a significant drop in his anger or violent behavior and he wanted to turn his life and work harder to make it better. 

I realized that he needed love. If I had judged him as an imperfect guy and left him and if all women had done the same, he would have probably hated himself all his life and never found the love to cure his anger. He would have always been bitter towards women for rejecting him. But my love helped him to cure his inner bitterness. He felt good and he thanked me for being by his side when none of his exes or family would support him. 

For me it was a lesson in growth as well because my capacity to non judgementally understand the other person grew exponentially, I became aware that love can heal and my heart became bigger. This is not to say that you should be in a toxic relationship, of course, if it's toxic you must leave, but I'm just saying that growth does not always happen in a comfortable environment, you have to deal with challenging situations to have that growth. In fact your most growth will come from your deepest most confusing experiences in life. 

To be able to love a man who wasn't perfect, I was able to be more compassionate and in some ways that only added to my femininity. It made me more loving and more feminine. 

That's why dark traits in the opposite sex are not always an indicator that you should just dump a person, but you can also heal them by understanding their situation and by showing them love. And that can also add to your masculinity/ femininity. 

For example, I've seen men who are with girlfriends that aren't perfect, let's say she is the type who is always full of shit, what I have observed is that such men have greater depth and generosity and maturity in their attitude and they are also able to have a fulfilling relationship because they aren't constantly complaining about their partner, they are able to integrate their own shadows of judgment and understand the reasons why their partner acts a certain way, and this understanding itself becomes a solid foundation to the relationship, because she is grateful that he is giving her so much room in the relationship despite her obvious flaws and that makes her admire, value, trust and respect him even more. She sees him as a stronger masculine figure who is not being mad at her but instead able to trust her and work with her which other judgemental guys won't offer her, this man appears stronger to her and he appears as someone that she can rely on and learn from to become a better person, someone who can lead her and guide her  in a good direction, also someone that she now has to prove herself to, since he showed her trust, in a way that it becomes her responsibility to respect that trust, which also puts the onus on her to behave better as an obligation to continue to earn and keep his trust and respect. 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                      

 

What will a strong man say to a woman - 

1. I trust you 

2. I won't shame you 

3. I won't judge you 

4. I will forgive you and offer you my compassion. 

5. I won't complain 

4. I respect you 

5. I love you 

6. I embrace your flaws and I am ready to look past them to see your love. 

               

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                        

 

If you are afraid of traveling, the only way to get rid of it is to travel a lot and everyday. Then you are no longer afraid of it. Also over time you become an expert traveler. You learn what stuff is more important, how to pack your bag, what languages to learn, how to meet and greet, how to stay safe, what not to eat, how much money to carry, what not to spend money on, how to save money. 

Similarly...... Women are like traveling. 

Make more women friends. Hang out. Don't approach with the idea of making a girlfriend. Simply talk the way you will talk to any random person. 

Woman like a guy who shares(in a friendship sense)  share your stuff with them. Just engage them. One thing I noticed is that you guys are very Impatient. I noticed this a lot with my male friends. It's a really downer and takes away valuable opportunities for growth in men. Don't be so Impatient for pussy. Don't look at every woman as pussy or no pussy. It doesn't give you a chance to bond. What will you do by getting laid anyways if you cannot sustain a bond with her. Would you have anything to talk to her about after sex. Then that would soon turn boring. Approach as many woman as you can without any intent. Some might not like to talk to you, it's okay, don't take it egoic way, let her go, approach next girl,offline or online. Now if some girl friendzones you, it's perfectly fine too, you still get to talk to her. What you guys generally do is of there's a chance to get a girlfriend and when she isn't giving you enough solid signals or opportunities you simply drop everything, lose interest and stop talking to her. But that will not help you grow with women. It's extremely myopic to think of women only in the girlfriend-sex sense. It won't help you genuinely bond with women. Understand that a woman is made of 3 parts - Her mind/intellect, her heart which is most important to her and her pussy/vagina /womb /fertility center. This is the most precious part after her heart and she can't give this precious part easily to any man. 

A woman craves for heart/mind/soul connection. Although it is sometimes possible to win her heart through her vagina but this needs incredible male power and skill.. You have to be extremely adept and seductive to win her directly through vagina. Most men simply cannot do it. It needs a high sex drive in a man and the ability to fuck a woman through eyes only. 

But if you lack that, you can compensate through heart connection. For this have a lot of conversations with women. Connect with them. Bond with them. Learn how to make them feel engaged, entertained and respected. Respect is a huge thing for most women.. When a woman feels protected, respected, she automatically sees the guy as boyfriend material. 

All of this needs you to break out of your ego-laziness-fear zone, just talk to women and see what kind of communication tickles them and learn from it. 

It's all about kinesthetics rather than theory or hearsay. 

 

                          

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                       

 

I like dummy guys. They are so simple and I value simplicity which is a hard commodity these days. 

Also my father worked in construction and factory work. Maybe that's why I am so attracted to Blue Collar factory guys. 

                        

 

They are loyal to their wives, just like my dad was loyal to my mom till the end of his life. And they have a lot of compassion. They are not like Eckhart Tolle. But a different kind of stage BLUE compassion. 

It's not like they don't have expectations. 

                     

 

                            

 

I don't have a problem with a man wanting authority in a relationship with me. I'm extremely subservient in a relationship and I can give all the authority to a man in a relationship, though I won't act like that around other men, they are not my husbands so zero obligation. 

                         

 

                      

 

                           

 

 

                     

 

But I would make a docile wife. I really want the man to take charge and own me. 

                      

                       

                        

 

                     

 

                    

 

 

However most men these days are very feminine both in appearance and behavior, I'm no longer attracted to such men, they want a dominating career oriented woman and I don't fit that bill. So it's kinda hard to find matured, independent, dominant men

                    

 

The world stopped producing them long ago because of technology and easy life. 

Death of masculinity. Death of femininity. Where there is no master, there is no follower. 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                   

 

I was listening to a talk by Alain de Botton on romanticism and I realized how deep this goes . We think that the romantic way is the only healthy way to love ,  yet we never question it . We have been deeply influenced by media ( songs , movies , novels ) and society . I'm not saying that it is wrong / evil  I just started to question the idea . Romanticism has several key features like : " Somewhere out there , we will find our true love " , " True love means understanding w/o the need to use words , and if you don't understand me you don't love me " , " When we will meet our true love , we will not be alone anymore ". Such fatalistic ideas lol .                     This guy is brilliant .  

                    

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                   

 

We see the "badboy" getting women and assume that  "okay, this is how I must have to act". When in reality, there are underlying behaviors that the badboy might exhibit from time to time that make him attractive, but the entire strategy isn't what is winning him women.

Vulnerability or "being nice" will make you crush it with women.  So it's useless advice  even if it's true.

Here's some:

When you meet a woman, she wants a man who she feels simultaneously wants her, yet doesn't NEED her at all. It's kind of attitude you usually have when you're just having fun with your friends. Things are good, and nothing necessarily needs to happen for you to have a nice time.

Fall too far to one side of not giving a shit, and you're an asshole.

Fall too far to one side of wanting her, and you come across as a needy pathetic nice guy.

The badboy isn't needy, and that's why he does well when he does. But actually, most guys are complete assholes are not at all doing the best with women because the girl eventually feels like this guy just doesn't care at all.

Guys THINK that material things like money, looks etc are what causing the girl to like you. So we spend our lives trying to manipulate our circumstances to meet what we think women want.

But the reality is that when these things work, it's really because you psychologically allowed yourself to act in the way described. And you can alter your identity to where acting like this is just feels completely natural. It's just "who you are".

What sort of behaviors does a man who is in this mental head space tend to exhibit?

1) He's RELAXED and AT EASE WITH HIMSELF

2) He's not afraid to offend someone if deemed necessary

3) GIVING good emotions to other people

4) Laughter, having fun

5) Other women around him or seeking his approval

6) Being a leader

7) Knows how to make himself feel good

8) Not afraid to put their full personality and desires out there

9) Knows what he wants

And I could go on and on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm just presenting a model here. There will be lots of nuances and special cases. For instance, some women are more validation hungry than others and so will often go after guys who withhold validation more.

But, generally this is how it's done.

Now let's circle back to our original thesis, which was that being vulnerable is effective with women. Notice that many of the traits I listed could be defined as "being vulnerable".

BUT it's being vulnerable in a very different way. We've pulled away false assumptions, like that you need to be afraid of rejection. So vulnerability takes on a much different meaning.

                         

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                           

 

Cognitive part 

Intellectual part 

Emotional part 

Reptilian part 

 

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                                 

I've wondered this for a very long time and it makes sense and seems pretty obvious when I think about it, that everything that everyone does is in the belief that they will gain something out of it.

But then when it comes to thinking about relationships i can only think that its for the same reason, people only seek relationships with people in the belief that they will gain something out of it wealth, sex, emotional comfort, status and etc but people just call that love, it kind of makes me wonder what love really is. And if people stop providing what the other person seeks then they have problems and break up. 

It makes you wonder whether love and relationships are just built on selfish beliefs of what people are gaining from them, and for that reason surely that's something that could be feeding your own egos.

And not just relationships in terms of sexual relationships, but also in terms of friends and family too.

And if you stopped providing for them emotionally or physically somehow I'm sure they would think less of you?

Is there another way of looking at what relationships really are besides that? Because it kind of bastardises my trust in people when you think about it 

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I masturbated again. 

But not satisfied this time. 

 

[thisintegrated]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I masturbated again. 

But not satisfied this time. 

???

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                     

 

 

What will you call a guy who wants to have sex with you forever? 

I don't know. I saw him in my dreams. He wanted to snatch me from my boyfriend 

 

He wanted me to belong to him. 

I'm not sure if I would be happy with such men. 

                               

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                      

Ultimately, every motive a person (or any lifeform) has is in some way self-serving. Othewise, what would be the reason to act? Every action benefits the 'self'. Whether it is breathing, eating, walking from a to b, earning money, buying material things, having sex or entering a realtionship. 'Relationship', incidentaly, is just a label. Take the label away and consider what it really is. And do the same with 'love'. We attribute a whole framework of beliefs and protocols around these labels. Most of which are self-serving. We attribute more to the frameworks of these concepts than we do to the reality of what is actually going on. What they really mean.

People don't really pursue a 'relationship', they persue the conceptual framework that we attribute to the label. A framework that comes loaded with self-serving benefits. Why do you think that relationships cause so much pain and suffering throughout our species and are inherently unreliable? Because when people aren't getting what they want out of it, it starts to become an ego battle.

Just ask yourself why you want a relationship, what you expect out of it. What is it you want from a partner? What you are looking for. These are the self-serving motives that drive people to do it. And for anyone who is already in a relationship, consider what you will lose if the realtionship ended. Right there are your self-serving motives.

But self-agenda is an inevitable, inehrent, part of life. You can't escape it. But it isn't something to be condemned. It is something to be accepted. As once you accept that this is how everyone is living their lives you become instantly more loving and authentic towards them as you can no longer judge or criticise another being. From this paradigm, people can stop the ego battles and have more authentic relationships.

We are conditioned to belief that selfish interests are a 'bad' thing. But this entire paradigm comes from a selfish self-interest. The concept of selfishness is supposed to be perceived this way as it is self-serving by its very nature. However it is unavoidable. Provided that noone is harming another, self-interest is a natural, inevitable and healthy motivation.

                       

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                                    

 

 Most relationships are built on selfish desires, because the ego wants to feel safe, it wants to have comfort, it wants to use people, it wants its needs met, it wants to trade and make business to achieve sth and so on.

No need to lose trust in people because of this. It is in peoples nature, so forgive them. Forgive their ego, for they don't know what they are doing. They only want to survive and get the most out of life for themselves and they are running on autopilot. It's human.

You as a wise man can be better tho, you can use relationships to spread love and make everyone feel better because they have come in contact with you. Without wanting anything back, you can be independend and completely detached. But please don't become a victim and a doormat and a people pleaser. Don't let people abuse you and leech off of you

                     

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                             

 

Attractive traits in men:

Ability to write and communicate.

Intellectually curious: Reads, researches problems, and teaches me new things.

Mature appreciation of women: Doesn't talk about women like they're cars, rating them 1-10.

Creative, wacky sense of humor: Sex is great but sex jokes are annoying because they're formulaic and predictable. 

Strong: Follows through on what he says.  Says what he means.

Productive outlook on life: A healthy, kind lifestyle so he doesn't lead me into Hell.

There are no achievements that I really value, except that I have finally learned not to date someone less educated.  It just doesn't work out in the real world.  I don't care about how much money he makes.  People say that and don't mean it, but I really don't.

I also try to cultivate these things in myself and understand that I will attract what I deserve.  This includes a mature outlook on men.  I love men, what they give to me, what they give to society, and how they balance us.  They are different from me and that's ok.  That's good.  I try to respect them for that.

                               

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                             

Someone who can laugh at themselves, is open minded about others, who seeks to understand, tries to be non-judgmental, is thoughtful of others, encourages others to be better at who they are, can appreciate all the wonders this life has to offer, and a willingness to share on a level where they are willing to expose their vulnerability.  I want to see strength and peace from within - contentment perhaps.       

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                     

 

I think maybe a confident man who is not afraid to pose interesting questions would make me feel really high, because he would be allowing me insight into alternative realities that I had never thought of before.

But there is a very fine line here!  If you question a woman too much she will begin to become consumed by self-doubt, and resent you for yanking the carpet out from under her (especially if you come across as insulting her on the very ground upon which she is standing).  

I really have to wonder about this whole phenomenon, because I want to find a partner who causes me to be the best me possible, but I have to admit, this might be kind of tricky if you don't know what my best me looks like.  I suppose I would prefer a guy who is not afraid to pose alternative understandings, but also is willing to back the f off, and let me have my space to weave together both of our conceptualizations.

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                    

 

No single quality or attribute can definitively categorise a man as a man, or as powerful. Rather, it is the collection of such that provides the complete image that allows an instinctive judgement to be made. But I will try my best to elaborate.

A man knows what he wants from life and can steadfastly hold to that through thick and thin until he deliberately changes his mind. He will pursue that thing and let nobody stand in his way, which gives him tremendous personal power that is perceived by other men, commanding respect as a result. He is assertive.

Respect is also a good indicator. A man who doesn’t respect himself cannot be respected by others- his ideas, desires, input, boundaries, resources, rules etc. are all insecure when he cannot enforce his will on them. He will let others, men and women, make decisions for him regarding the things he should have agency over.

Good with women and has high sexual energy. This doesn’t mean he’s a pickup artist or walks around in a sweat all day. It means he brings energy to a room. He get people’s attention in a non-needy way. We feel comfortable around a guy like this and feel like there’s something to be learned from him. His energy comes from a grounded place that is in touch with his biology and genetic makeup as a man. He is a complete person in touch with his sexuality.

Doesn’t whinge, whine or complain, doesn’t gossip or put others down to make himself better, but can give shit to others in a fun way that is endearing to both parties and at the same time subtly establishes himself as the more dominant one in the relationship. Never affected by what others think of him or say to him. Non-reactive with an air of joviality. 

Most men these days aren't like this. It is a sad reality and I fear it’s only getting worse. Society, pop culture, the media, hardcore feminists, academia and even men themselves continue to dishonour and discredit masculinity. They are taught that masculinity is all in the mind, nurture not nature, that men are inherently violent and sex obsessed. 

So from a young age the desire to grow out of boy thinking and into a man is psychologically beaten out of them. They avoid being assertive for fear of offending, they expect good things to come their way without putting in the hard work, they cut themselves off sexually, they whinge, whine and complain and act like little boys, they are listless and apathetic to the world around them, their motivations around money vs contribution are all skewed, i could go on and on…

I don’t think much is going to change until as a collective species we recognise the innate differences between men and women, that masculinity and femininity are biological and psychologically hard wired, and that men and women are complimentary to one another, not competitors. We need to return to that understanding that our ancestors so naturally perceived and start celebrating our differences. Men need to be honoured for their manhood and supported in their journey towards full expression of it.

 

 

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

◉_◉

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                         

 

I'm not saying everything is in all black and white here and that all women and men are like this because that isn't true.  I'm referring to feminine and masculine energy.  The Yin and Yang.  Feminine energy in general is very much in the present moment.  It consists of laughter, fun, humor, being spontaneous, adventurous....these are present moment qualities.   Masculine is logic, structured, thinking, and planning, integrity.......these are  future qualities.    Feminine and masculine are POLAR opposites.   No person is completely feminine or completely masculine. But I'm saying that the women out there that are too much in the present moment  (obviously this is not all women)....and don't plan their life out....have a life purpose...learn to have emotional control (which is a masculine quality) are going to have issues.  And the men (not all men)  that are very goal oriented, and continuously planning, focusing on the future....but aren't in the present moment (a feminine quality) aren't really going to be enjoying life either.   I'm saying that relationships that are based on polarity can be successful and loving relationships.  The natural good qualities that each sex possesses (when they are their best selves) can enhance and bring harmony to the relationship.

 

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

                     

 

 

I'm saying that women that panic....that's not healthy or natural for them, they are out of balance....and men don't want that or are they attracted to that....they want a woman that is light-hearted and relaxed.... a balanced woman.... Relaxation, calmness, meditation....that's masculine. When a woman has those qualities that balance their feminine energy it gives them emotional control....and  that is extremely attractive. Men don't want the drama, or the manipulation, or wild swinging emotions....but the balance in a healthy emotional woman...will not be like that.

Edited November 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson