___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

                         

 

◉_◉

Maybe I feel guilty and ashamed of my sexual feelings, fantasies, drive and preferences because they're not completely normal or slightly taboo. 

Like me wanting an old man to fuck me deep and get me dirty. 

Is this my own shame being transformed into a person who has to release me from this shame? 

Is it because I don't enjoy dominating a man during sex? 

What is sexual morality and sexual ethics even? 

Why is something sexually moral while something else sexually immoral? 

Some things can be taboo like bdsm but they might not be immoral. 

I have explored my own sexual fantasies a lot and when I explore it freely and in this way, little clues begin to fly in all directions that I have to collect and piece together. Then a pattern begins to emerge. 

My pattern in all of my sexual fantasies point to a certain trend or direction - 

 

                   

 

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

                               

 

I need to focus on my sexual fantasies. 

I like to be dominated. So I want the fantasy to consist of a weird dynamic where I have been kidnapped by the enemy of my clan, a rival gang and then held in captivity for days.

During this time they feed me and take care of me and I'm supposed to sleep with the conqueror. This is a role play. 

There is humiliation, enslavement and masochist elements to this. 

In the end I surrender sexually 

And the conqueror takes care of me. I assume him to look like a Tarzan. My desires are kinda primal. 

The enemy gang takes care of me and I belong to them forever. It's like a love hate relationship and I find peace both in love and hate. Even if they hate me they don't want me gone. 

Everything works out for the better in the end. 

When I think of such things I'm able to love myself better. I guess love and hate are strong emotions and two sides of the same coin. 

                           

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

STAGES OF ANIMUS DEVELOPMENT IN WOMEN

1. Men as alien outsiders - She fears, hates, and loves him.

Because of abuse or abandonment from men that she identified with during childhood, such as a father, father figure, older brother, uncle, or family friend, a woman in this stage completely denies and suppresses her animus as alien inside and outside of herself. She trusts her mother and other females, while she distrusts, hates, or fears men. This is often countered by a strange curiosity about men, which she cannot differentiate. This ambivalence can make her extremely seductive, needy, and clingy, and cause severe symptoms of the “seduce and withhold”230 syndrome. As soon as a man gets close to her she withdraws, only to come back to ask for more after he becomes distant. She can break the heart of a weak man who tries to prove that he is different, attempts to rescue her from her fears, and so becomes codependent231 as she lures him into her pathological cat and mouse game. Within the limits of her domain in household, family, and female-oriented work environment (e.g., school teacher, nurse, artist, gardener, therapist, healer, working with animals, etc.), such a woman may seem grounded and self-confident. Outside those limits, she leaves the work and responsibility to men and more mature women.232

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

2. Men as father, God, or king - She wants his approval.

The self-esteem of a woman in this stage is directly connected to the response and approval that she receives from men. She is often driven by a need to be seen as the most attractive female, and constantly monitors her value by her internalized masculine judgment and through externalized male reflection. This may lead to a split in her personality when she imitates male behavior to be liked by them, and at other times presents herself as a sexually seductive femme fatale (such as in the movie Basic Instinct) to be desired. She either hides behind a feminine mask of beautiful appearance, graceful charming manner, and entertaining wit, or develops a tom boyish attitude through teasing, competing, and challenging, or some other facade that suggests success. Women in this stage gravitate towards men that they perceive to be more attractive, intelligent, and exciting than they could ever be themselves. They often try to live up to men by dietary restrictions, vigorous physical exercising, adapting to their intellectual interests, developing new talents, and being sexually available to become the perfect mate. If a woman remains in this stage, she is at great risk of entering a profound depression when her beauty and sexual attractiveness wane, and the number of heads that she is turning, and men who admire her diminishes. She may then isolate herself from all intimate relationships, because her perfectionism overrides her ability to be compassionate and to forgive her own and others’ mistakes. This may lead her to withdraw into a cold and bitter self-denial in which her anxieties create all kinds of psychosomatic illnesses, such as panic attacks, vomiting, heart problems, fatigue, and body aches. A strong, conscious, and patient man (or a good psychotherapist) can support a woman in this stage to find her own worth, passions, and identity, independent of male approval, which then allows her to enter into stage three.

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

3. Men as hero - She wants him to take care of her.

Women in stage three seek a man as protector and provider with strength, courage, and ability, who can meet her needs, cherish her, and whom she wants to marry. He represents her ideal (and often unrealistic) image of the knight in shining armor who fulfills her expectations for good looks, intelligence, solid reputation, stable finances, generosity, loyalty, humor, kindness, care, integrity, and faithfulness. To be in a good bargaining position, this woman will focus on her appearance, health/fitness, and adapting to the world of men by seeking a higher education, pursuing a career, fighting for social justice, or saving a failing business. She will appear as self-affirming and expects something in return. She functions well in the competitive world of men, sees herself as equal, is willing to share responsibilities, and will contribute and perform as long as her partner is able to provide more in return, since women want to marry up. As long as he meets her expectations for financial security, social status, and devotion, she will support him to achieve his full potential while often denying such achievements to herself. This can lead to feelings of resentment and anger when she sees that she has been “denied” the right to experience her own competence, and when her partner/husband fails to live up to her ever-growing expectations. Some women in this stage will enter an inward journey once they become aware of the transitory nature of their physical attractiveness, ability to succeed with men, and limitations of finding acceptance in the male world. This may lead them to the restoration of their female authority 234 as they take responsibility for their own identity once they have moved into stage four of their animus complex development.235

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Men as independent beings - She wants her independence.

A woman in stage four makes an active choice in favor of her self-interest and self-fulfillment—independent of a partner or husband. This transition takes place with the realization that she has constructed her own experiences throughout her lifetime in relationship to men, and now wants to find her own identity. She will stop trying to be perfect in all things in order to please her partner (who was a heroic father figure in the previous stage), as she becomes emotionally free from his approval and support. Having discovered her own source of worthiness and foundation, she is working to restore her female authority. Financial independence through her own labor or through other sources of money that are often only available to women, such as “divorcing well,” alimony and child-support payments, generous lovers, support from parents, or Social Security benefits, are the prerequisite for this transition. You will notice if your partner enters into stage four of her animus development when she starts to challenge you, cares less about your needs, seeks her financial independence, and refuses to take responsibility for holding your relationship together. If you are in partnership with a woman in this stage, it is important to know that it is not your fault that her pain of staying will eventually be greater than her fear of leaving, and that there is nothing you can do but to take care of yourself emotionally 236 and sexually, protect the financial assets that are legitimately yours (if you have to, with the help of a CPA or lawyer), and, if you can, support her with love and compassion in her transition. Once separated and/or divorced, she will feel free from the evaluation and needs of men for the first time in her life. These newly single women are then much occupied with challenging work, their animals and children, social activities, educational advancements, maintaining their household, hobbies, world-travel, and their friendships.237 At the same time, they look down at women who show more feminine or balanced qualities and who desire to be (or are) in a committed partnership with a man. To women in stage four, partnered women still seem to be in the pitiful stage two or three of dependence on a male partner (which they have just escaped). However, married women may have actually advanced into stage five, which women in stage four cannot fathom yet. They discredit partnered women as unevolved and often compete with them in merciless ways. Women in stage four frequently break with the conventional role of caring mother, show tough love, and feel fulfilled outside a partnership with a man. Still, there remains an underlying fear of abandonment, especially in older women, when concerns about the disappearance of their skills and autonomy in the midst of a crisis arise. This often leads to feelings of ambivalence. On one side there is a secret longing for the stability and support that a partnership with a man could provide during times of stress, fatigue, loneliness, or desire for sex. On the other side there is the fear of becoming emotionally dependent, used, and dominated again. Frequent complaints about the lack of good men who are physically fit and attractive, highly intelligent, successful, accomplished, mature, kind, loving, generous, evolved, supportive, spiritual, and available when they need/want them, but who remain flexible, undemanding, and unattached otherwise, are a hallmark of women in stage four.238 Becoming men-hating diehard singles, settling for “friends with benefits” whom they string a long, or serial monogamy are often the only solutions that seem to solve their dilemma. It is not your fault if you get mixed messages, are rejected, or are ignored altogether by women in stage four that you try to date or get a commitment from, as these women are highly independent, endlessly demanding, impossible to please, and commitmentphobic.239 This is, of course, no problem for men who have entered stage four of their own anima development, which many single males and females falsely see as the highest stage of their personal and spiritual development (as in, I am so whole and complete, I don’t need a partner to complete me). If you have matured into stage five and meet a woman who is at the end of her animus stage four development, then you may be able to patiently support her to transition into stage five and find a wonderful partner in her.

 

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

4. Men as independent beings - She wants her independence.

A woman in stage four makes an active choice in favor of her self-interest and self-fulfillment—independent of a partner or husband. This transition takes place with the realization that she has constructed her own experiences throughout her lifetime in relationship to men, and now wants to find her own identity. She will stop trying to be perfect in all things in order to please her partner (who was a heroic father figure in the previous stage), as she becomes emotionally free from his approval and support. Having discovered her own source of worthiness and foundation, she is working to restore her female authority. Financial independence through her own labor or through other sources of money that are often only available to women, such as “divorcing well,” alimony and child-support payments, generous lovers, support from parents, or Social Security benefits, are the prerequisite for this transition. You will notice if your partner enters into stage four of her animus development when she starts to challenge you, cares less about your needs, seeks her financial independence, and refuses to take responsibility for holding your relationship together. If you are in partnership with a woman in this stage, it is important to know that it is not your fault that her pain of staying will eventually be greater than her fear of leaving, and that there is nothing you can do but to take care of yourself emotionally 236 and sexually, protect the financial assets that are legitimately yours (if you have to, with the help of a CPA or lawyer), and, if you can, support her with love and compassion in her transition. Once separated and/or divorced, she will feel free from the evaluation and needs of men for the first time in her life. These newly single women are then much occupied with challenging work, their animals and children, social activities, educational advancements, maintaining their household, hobbies, world-travel, and their friendships.237 At the same time, they look down at women who show more feminine or balanced qualities and who desire to be (or are) in a committed partnership with a man. To women in stage four, partnered women still seem to be in the pitiful stage two or three of dependence on a male partner (which they have just escaped). However, married women may have actually advanced into stage five, which women in stage four cannot fathom yet. They discredit partnered women as unevolved and often compete with them in merciless ways. Women in stage four frequently break with the conventional role of caring mother, show tough love, and feel fulfilled outside a partnership with a man. Still, there remains an underlying fear of abandonment, especially in older women, when concerns about the disappearance of their skills and autonomy in the midst of a crisis arise. This often leads to feelings of ambivalence. On one side there is a secret longing for the stability and support that a partnership with a man could provide during times of stress, fatigue, loneliness, or desire for sex. On the other side there is the fear of becoming emotionally dependent, used, and dominated again. Frequent complaints about the lack of good men who are physically fit and attractive, highly intelligent, successful, accomplished, mature, kind, loving, generous, evolved, supportive, spiritual, and available when they need/want them, but who remain flexible, undemanding, and unattached otherwise, are a hallmark of women in stage four.238 Becoming men-hating diehard singles, settling for “friends with benefits” whom they string a long, or serial monogamy are often the only solutions that seem to solve their dilemma. It is not your fault if you get mixed messages, are rejected, or are ignored altogether by women in stage four that you try to date or get a commitment from, as these women are highly independent, endlessly demanding, impossible to please, and commitmentphobic.239 This is, of course, no problem for men who have entered stage four of their own anima development, which many single males and females falsely see as the highest stage of their personal and spiritual development (as in, I am so whole and complete, I don’t need a partner to complete me). If you have matured into stage five and meet a woman who is at the end of her animus stage four development, then you may be able to patiently support her to transition into stage five and find a wonderful partner in her.

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

A woman can experience multiple orgasms in a row during one sexual encounter and the sex can last longer than usual. But once she has climaxed, it's over, of course she can be aroused to climax again. But mostly after a couple of times, she is exhausted, once all juices are out and she has reached mental orgasm, then she won't be aroused again. 

 

Also depending very very much on the partner she is with, if he is masculine, strong and has big dick energy, her sexual energy will try to align to his. Of course it's not anywhere comparable to the horniness of men, but she can regularly feel horny for her man. But remember this is not dependent on her. It's very much dependent on her man. He should be able to seduce her and get her horny. I found in my personal experience that my horniness depended a lot on the guy I was with. If he was boring, my hormones went down. If he was horny and sexually attractive, my hormones went up and I felt equally horny. 

 

Men and women are pretty much same, the dynamic is not determined by gender. It's determined by the type of male and female you put together. If you put together an interesting non boring sexually intense male and pair him with a horny sexual woman, both will have a ton of sex. It doesn't depend on general factors. Some people, man or woman, are more horny than others. It's not a collective thing, rather than an individual thing.

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

5. Men as equal partners - She wants him as an equal and opposite partner.

Just as a man, a woman in stage five of her animus development has accepted that conflict and ambivalence are intrinsic to human relationships, and realized the significance of a partnership to balance her further psychological growth and spiritual awakening.240 Having fully claimed her own authority after transcending her animus complex, she no longer sees men as alien, superior, inferior, or independent. The realization that the idea of living and going it alone was a distorted conception of human existence emerges in her, because we never live alone. She sees that in being human we have a variety of economic, physical, sexual, psychological, and spiritual needs that cannot be met by living alone. At last she has the insight that a balanced personality always develops in a self-other conception, and never through the discovery of an independent self.241 This woman then desires the material, intellectual, emotional, sexual, and spiritual synergy that is co-created with a man who meets her as an opposite and equal (which means opposite feminine and masculine polarities with equal levels of consciousness, rights, and responsibilities). Since she may have never experienced a stage five partnership, she needs guidance from a man (like you?) at the same stage of his anima development, who is able to meet her in an integrally informed way. These couples can then form interdependent242 partnerships in which they heal, learn, grow, and enjoy family and social activities together, while contributing to the well-being of others.243

[Tyler Robinson]

 

The Masculine wants to know everything, why? So it can control it, manipulate, possess it, own it!! This desire to control is based on the Masculine knowing it is sovereign, divine, supreme, it is authority itself and it basks in the power that it has. It loves to flex this power, and amaze itself with the bounds of ways it can investigate how best to wield this power.

[Tyler Robinson]

 

The Masculine meets the Feminine and it is in awe, look at that Feminine it is so powerful....but in a different way. It doesn't seek to know something by investigating it, it seeks to know something through connecting with it and experiencing it. It doesn't seek to control, but to be controlled, to be manipulated, to be possessed, and owned. But it will only give itself to that which is believes in. It doesn't have to know everything, it doesn't need to investigate, it just expresses itself at every moment on a whim.

[Tyler Robinson]

 

The Masculine is confused by the Feminine, to it...it makes no sense!!! The Masculine points at the Feminine and says you are crazy!!! You need to be careful, don't just walk anywhere there could be danger!!! You need to figure out your surroundings and make sense of what is going on!!! This is how you gain control!! The Feminine glances at the Masculine and says...that sounds very limited, that sounds like bondage....I would rather be free!! Who cares if I don't have all the answers? I'll go where I please, and do what I feel like every moment, and I will know through experience. Its not me that is crazy...its you!!! 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

As they ponder on this for centuries.....they finally come to the truth....that they both....are crazy and don't make sense!!! The Feminine is constantly lost, and the Masculine is constantly afraid to act for fear of making the wrong decision and is always contemplating and planning and conceptualizing. They both decide to hatch a plan and help each other with what they lack. The Masculine hatches a plan, and the Feminine encourages the Masculine that they can pull it off. Through this continued partnership they eventually realize...that apart they are crazy and don't make sense....but together they are complete...and what's more they were never different they were just two parts of the same whole. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

When you are in balance, you can play any character any role, because you have the freedom of the feminine, but you also can take control at times, which is the discerning nature of the masculine, you are able to plan, and strategize and figure out what's going on, but you also have the faith, the belief, when you are put in unknown situations and you realize the limits to what you can know. So you walk a balance of gaining some control, then relinquishing it, to grasp and release, to take and give, and this is the dance of the Masculine and the Feminine.

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Yea this shit feels weird. I have observed this phenomenon with men and by now I'm quite aware of this (very sure this is the case) that men always want a "taken" woman. They want a woman who is someone's girlfriend. They won't go too far if she is a wife

 But I guess a girlfriend is fair game since her man hasn't yet married her. 

Like why do this? There are so many single girls you can hit on. Why do you always want a girl who is someone's gf? Why you wanna steal her from her man? Is it because it makes you feel better inside that you had your hands on another man's woman? 

It's disgusting.. 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

This is pure torture now hun. Whatever you do to me. I feeling it in my skin.. The way you squeeze my breasts. You really want this so bad. Just fuck me then. Your desire is so strong, it's making me crazy. 

I can feel your penetrations deep and intense. 

I love your penis. It's making me horny. I'm losing control and I will let you do anything you want. 

Push it inside. I'm feeling it. You are sexing me up so much. I just can't do anything except surrender to your dick torture. 

And you are kissing me, biting 

 

my lips so bad. I just can't. You are making me crazy. 

 

I love what your penis is doing to me 

 

I'm your submissive slave now 

 

I'm getting this tender feeling in my breasts. They feel more beautiful when you touch and play with them. They are yours 

 

Grab my Tits by your teeth. Do what you want and I won't complain 

This is yours. 

 

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

that's not the real problem. I don't like relying on objects for orgasms. It's like every time I want an orgasm I will need to carry an object around. I don't want to feel that way. It makes me not feel the joy of pleasure. Even if I do it with my partner, I actually feel upset because it means they don't have ability to give me an orgasm. I have had guys give me an orgasm on the phone (when my boyfriend is in another city on work he would call to pleasure me), that kind of  orgasm is an art, it's a skill, it needs proper escalation, emotional stimulation, buildup of sexual tension, foreplay, romance, sexual energy, development of deep intimacy, trust, knowing each other's sexual fantasies, knowing how to turn the other person on, sexual, emotional and psychological logic, connection, sexual fire and sexual chemistry, sexual

[Tyler Robinson]

 

There's a whole gamut of factors and skills that need to be learned in order to give a proper arousal and orgasm. 

I don't want sex to be reduced to something as mere stimulation of organs. I miss out on the emotional and brain stimulation part of it if I took the support of porn and sex toys and technological objects. 

It's like taking diet pills and not exercising instead. Quick solution but exercise is much more wholesome. 

I want sex to be wholesome. 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

This situation already happened in my life. My ex was a brutal player violent asshole kind of a person. He used to have deep anger issues towards women because he wasn't loved as a child. But when I came into his life, instead of judging him as a violent person or an asshole, I decided to show him compassion and forgiveness and show him my love and trust, and within like a year, he was a changed man, my love had transformed him to be less hateful towards women, he became less angry, his anger was the lowest level from the time I had met him, he was not completely changed but a significant drop in his anger or violent behavior and he wanted to turn his life and work harder to make it better. 

I realized that he needed love. If I had judged him as an imperfect guy and left him and if all women had done the same, he would have probably hated himself all his life and never found the love to cure his anger. He would have always been bitter towards women for rejecting him. But my love helped him to cure his inner bitterness. He felt good and he thanked me for being by his side when none of his exes or family would support him. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

For me it was a lesson in growth as well because my capacity to non judgementally understand the other person grew exponentially, I became aware that love can heal and my heart became bigger. This is not to say that you should be in a toxic relationship, of course, if it's toxic you must leave, but I'm just saying that growth does not always happen in a comfortable environment, you have to deal with challenging situations to have that growth. In fact your most growth will come from your deepest most confusing experiences in life.