___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm so cold right now. It's cold everywhere 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

My new name is Janessa that the abuser gave me. 

I'll call myself Janessa/Tyler. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

4 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

He called me Janessa... That's the name the rapist gave me. 

I called him Philly. 

Then Philly looked angrily at me and said —

Did you go to the police Janessa /Tyler?

Yes. 

And what happened? 

I told them that you raped me. 

And what did they say? 

They did not believe me. They asked me for evidence. I said I have no evidence. 

Good job. Good job. Good job. They're not going to believe you. Just on word. They need evidence baby. 

That's crazy. I don't have any evidence. 

Janessa/Tyler don't go to the police. Don't get me in trouble. 

You wanted me to get arrested or what? Huh? 

No. 

Then.... 

I don't know. 

I really don't know. Maybe.... Maybe.. I just wanted to save myself. 

 

What did I not do for you Janessa? 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Whatever.... 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I just want to cut this place out of my life for good. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Sometimes I feel like Philly knows so much about me. 

Yea those days. 

He tells me that I should not give a fuck about anything at all. 

Then he chastises me by telling me that my mother doesn't care about me at all. 

I'm on the same path Philly. 

Once again on the same path where I want to be wanted, craved. 

But there's nobody there. 

Haney.... He is a bastard. He lives there. A bit far away. 

Edited November 8, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Haney wanted to rape me. I told Philly about it. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Haney was associated with a woman who was into pimping. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

The woman kinda encouraged Haney to be with me. 

One day I was groggy. Kinda sleepy. I slept off and the door was unlocked. Philly wasn't there. And Haney sneaked into the house. I don't know what happened next. But when I woke up I overheard a conversation between Haney and that woman. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran out of there. I kept running till I reached home. I knocked vehemently on the door. I kept calling Philly to open the door. I saw Haney in the distance chasing after me. 

Philly opened the door and I got in. I stood next to a pillar and told Philly that Haney was up to no good. 

Philly stood at the door and Haney tried barging into the house. Philly stopped him and warned him. Haney look terrified. 

Haney left. Philly turned to me and said that he would need to keep a gun in case Haney comes again. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

For a while I felt protected with Philly even though he was my rapist and abuser. 

I felt protected because if it weren't for him, then Haney would have probably sold me to someone. I needed protection.. 

Then one day Haney came to the door. He was standing at the porch. He was waiting. He thought Philly wasn't home. Philly had a gun this time. He had hidden it on top of the cabinet. 

Haney stood on the porch. I could see him from a distance. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

So that day it was it. 

Philly won't have it anymore. 

Philly came out with a gun. He pointed the gun straight at Haney. Haney was trembling with fear.

Philly then warned Haney to not touch me even with a stick... Or else.... Haney got the message. He backed off. 

A month later, someone said that Haney had left town forever. The threat was over. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Side note —

 

Talk to newbees. And forget the old bees. 

Only talk to people who know how to respect. 

This is the best trick. 

Just forget all the old ones who are holding onto any kind of baggage or are too nosy. There's just no point. It's a mental asylum anyway. 

Once you cut people off, just cut them off for good and never go back, there's no need to. You're hypersensitive. The only ones who matter are ones who care. And there is no need to seek validation. 

Anyway everyone is just a shallow cuck. So if they don't validate then fuck them.... Cut down the need for validation. Cut people who make you even slightly uncomfortable 

Learn to be a jerk. Be free. 

I want to back off into my own little world sometimes. Just hide there. Free. No drama no mess, no dealing with difficult people. 

 

Edited November 8, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

More moralizing and shaming. Continue. Don't lead with love. Don't practice what you preach. 

And just keep mocking because that makes you feel superior lol. All that empty bullshit sarcasm. Snarky attitude. Mean beaches. 

Respond to one question in 1 week and leave it there. Write what I want. Essays yea. Respond to mega-threads. And completely cut off communicating with disrespectful folks, maintain boundary. Why do they care. Anyways who cares in the moment is the one that matters. Work with wisdom. 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Have lower expectations. Don't expect too much out of people online. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

A month later, someone said that Haney had left town forever. The threat was over. 

Haney left town and I felt relieved. 

One day I took Philly's gun and began playing with it. I was trying to learn to use a gun. It was jamming and I couldn't get it to work. Philly saw me doing it. And he began wondering why I was playing with it. 

Why did you take the gun? 

I was just trying. 

What would you need a gun for? 

I like it. I wanna know how to operate and shoot with a gun.

Oh...you're planning to shoot me with it. 

Don't say crazy things. I never had such a thought. 

That's not a child's toy, you know. 

C'mon give that here. Give that to me. 

No.  I want. 

Give that here. C'mon. 

And he snatched the gun from me and kept it back in the place where it was hidden.. 

Ahh.. I guess I need to give this gun back. I don't need it anyway. 

But why. 

Shut up! 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I don't know where to begin 

So many events happened between me and Philly. I don't know how to explain all of that 

 

He was my abuser. He said so much to me. So much has happened in a very short span of time. 

I developed Stockholm Syndrome at some point. 

I felt guilty for not obeying him or sometimes rejecting and dismissing him. 

There was the food incident, the mouse incident, the bracelet incident. The pot incident. The crying incident. All of it... 

Janessa. Janessa. Janessa. 

 

Edited November 9, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

And that incident where I was cold and dying. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

And that incident where I liked a boy's photograph. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

And yes the incident where I tried clothes in front of the mirror. 

 

I was young. Just barely 16, when I went to live with him. 

My mom sent me. She thought he was a protective figure who would love and support me. My dad had already died. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Everyone asked me why I didn't run. Why I didn't escape. Why didn't I call the cops or my mom?

Well i was young, just starting out barely. 

I was under his control. He knew my family. Deep down I had fears he would kill them. 

No he did not have sexual intercourse with me. But he molested me. He raped me with objects too. 

He wanted me to stay a virgin. He felt happy that way. 

He did practice oral sex with me. He made me do sexual things for him. 

He wanted anal sex with me but I refused vehemently. 

He would sneak into the bed with me and then sleep with me. Grope me. He did all kinds of sexual things with me. He was scared I would get pregnant. So he didn't want to penetrate me. 

He wouldn't use any protection and would ejaculate on my body, not inside me.