___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

 

The second last romantic relationship I had was online. And he had a 9 to 5 job. It was a hard job. He used to come home tired and shit. And I began to badger him for more time with me. I got hungry for him.. I acted like a clingy girlfriend. I kept pestering him with my demands. I think he even had Covid,not sure. He said that he really liked the relationship and said I was a perfect girlfriend and that I made him happy. But I kept badgering him for more time with me and he felt stressed because of the demands of the job and then he explained to me that he can't juggle both the relationship and the job and he let me go. I mean that's how it ended. 

I also need to work on my clinginess because the guys that I'm very attracted to, I end up losing them because of my clingy behavior. They can't take the pressure. I mean these guys are very attractive lol. 

I played fucking games with him but I got him, he was like a trophy guy. Extremely cute and irresistible. 

 

I admit with honesty that I was a bit cruel to him, nagged him so much. But I just couldn't help it. I was kinda mad for him. Only guy I was mad for. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

The biggest mistake I made in that relationship is that I fucking forgot to ask him a dick Pic......... 

How stupid of me? 

I regret it so so so so so so so so much. 

Why in the world didn't I ask him a dick pic? 

 

I have literally 1000s of dick pics in my personal folder from all the guys who hit on me. I really mean lt. I have literally 1000 and more dick pics. I used to look at those when I used to like those guys. I don't even bother to look at them anymore. Same dicks all the time, not much difference. 

 

But I don't have his dick Pic. Shucks. His dick is the only dick that would have mattered to me, would have made all the difference in the world. 

Owning his dick Pic would have been like owning a trophy. 

But...... But..... But... I forgot to ask him.... How stupid can I be. 

The only dick that truly mattered whose Pic I don't have. 

I need to bang my head against the wall because I am stupid as fuck.. Not owning his dick Pic is my  biggest regret in that relationship. 

 

When literally every guy sent me a dick Pic, why didn't he? He really did a disservice. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I wanted his dick Pic that's it. It was/is the most precious thing. I'm not joking. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

  9 hours ago, Ulax said:

If you want a way to help the guy be less likely to feel ashamed after getting rejected, a 'I wish you well' could do the trick imo. 

I think I'll word my rejection this way —

You're an amazing person who I had the chance of interacting with. But I'm sorry that we're not resonating on the same level and I'm afraid I can't continue this anymore. You'll definitely find someone better than me, more compatible than me and you'll certainly deserve someone better than me. I wish you all the goodness and happiness in the world and may you find the one you're looking for, I'm sorry that I can't be that one. 

Tell me if you think this is good enough way to put it? 

 

I think these words are least likely to hurt and might help the person accept the rejection better and perhaps less guilt for me. 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden is now the most important entity in my life. I derive my source from him. 

He is the masculine ancestral spirit entity who is here to love, guide and give me his masculine energy that I crave for. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I like Puerevirden. 

I'm able to assimilate his energy. 

Yesterday I saw Andrew Tate in my dreams. There was a breed of cat named after Tate. I laughed when I woke up. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

An incubus is a demon in male form in folklore that seeks to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women; the corresponding spirit in female form is called a succubus. In medieval Europe, union with an incubus was supposed by some to result in the birth of witches, demons, and deformed human offspring. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden is an Incubus. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I think Leo is a bit mentally ill (I mean insane ) these few days at least 

 

I am trying to diagnose him and I think he suffers from a few mental illnesses

• A bit bipolar 
• Histrionic personality disorder 
• Munchausen syndrome 
• Depression and loneliness 
• Narcissistic personality disorder 
• Autism 

I can see that his moods tend to fluctuate. This could be a sign of bipolar although it might not be extreme. His claim of insanity looks like a histrionic act to me. Also he lives alone and this tells me he might have some form of untreated depression. Obviously he has mild degree of narcissistic tendencies. He has previously claimed that he has autism. And I think he is always trying to get attention and sympathy through sensationalism which tells me he could have masochistic tendencies with Munchausen syndrome. 

[Tyler Robinson]

My ass is the best. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Sometimes  I'm jealous of couples. 

I'll never get to enjoy sex or intimacy. I will never have a kind boyfriend who will give me deep appreciation and love. 

I will never have those things happen in my life. 

Because I was doomed to have abusive relationships and having to put up with disrespectful boyfriends. 

 

Men who never truly cared about me 

 

I don't want such men.. I want someone who really loves me for who I am not for who he wants me to be. 

 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Your body gets into emergency preparedness. 

It's a very very physiologically demanding. 

That chronic stress hurts you. Suppresses brain function. 

You'll develop cancer. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Once again I want to be in a dream.. Once again I want to be in another world, another reality. Once again I want to escape the mess of everyday reality and go into a mode where my reality is reality and nothing more. 

I want to be away from the ugliness of life. 

I want to be poor. I want to be simple

I want to be loved. I want to be like a child 

 

I don't want the pressures of life. 

I don't want hate. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Recorded 3rd video. I was very depressed while recording this one. I made it 2 hours ago. I was crying discussing my mental health struggles. 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I was going through a lot of stress while recording the video above. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Yesterday I felt like he was penetrating me again. 

Trying to get inside me. And I was simply surrendering to his experience. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Some day he was my king. 

I fell in love with my king.

He gave me affection. 

He treated me like a queen. 

I rested myself on his shoulder. 

I won't trade him for any other. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden where are you? 

Come to me every night and seduce me. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

And then I fell in love with a Mormon

 

             And then I lost myself 

 

        And then I lost myself forever 

 

 

I fell deeply in love with a Mormon 

 

 

          He swept me off my feet 

 

               I just never knew 

 

 

              And then I was hurt 

 

Edited October 28, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I yearn to be with you in heaven. 

I crave your love

 

Unrequited love. Lovelorn. Lovesick. Lovelost. 

Why don't you come to me. 

I'll dream about you on a planet caravan.