___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden 

When I imagine him, I'm getting all kinds of black and white visuals. 

As though you're looking at black and white sketches. 

He is a wise guy. 

he keeps looking at me from a distance. 

He tries to talk to me sometimes. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

One day when I was weaving the basket, he sat next to me. He began telling me stories of his childhood. 

Puerevirden is subtle, charming. He flirts with me... 

I'm Escaping into another world where I'm with him. 

He is a bundle of masculine energy. 

One day I was cold and he placed a blanket over me and offered me hot chicken soup. 

Little things he does that make me feel cared for. I draw closer to him. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm a typical woman 

I can't be satisfied only with sexual talk. 

I need charisma, appeal, good looks, attraction, attention, love, affection, care, generosity, someone to be with me for who I am and love me as I am. 

I'm sorry that I'm a woman. That I cannot be your version of a woman 

That I cannot be your doll that you can play with. 

I'm who I'm born as. How can that change? 

If I like a guy, how can that change? 

Many guys want me to like them. But how can I do that? 

When a woman falls in love, she falls in love, there's no meaning to it. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Maybe a girl being wet for a man arouses him and it means a lot to him 

But there are just so many many men who are horny for me. It doesn't arouse me. And it does not make me feel special.. A man being horny for a woman doesn't mean much for a woman. It's just what it is. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

My intuitive senses generally work really well. But with Puerevirden I'm just not getting much at all. 

I got bits and pieces and that's it. 

2 days ago I felt a strong sensation, a glimpse of Puerevirden. And that was it. 

Nothing after that. I don't even remember what it felt like. I might be going into bpd dissociation again. Because I'm forgetting things. 

I feel sad that I only got a glimpse. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

My intuitive senses generally work really well. But with Puerevirden I'm just not getting much at all. 

I got bits and pieces and that's it. 

2 days ago I felt a strong sensation, a glimpse of Puerevirden. And that was it. 

Nothing after that. I don't even remember what it felt like. I might be going into bpd dissociation again. Because I'm forgetting things. 

I feel sad that I only got a glimpse. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden is an ancient ancestral spirit entity who is here to give me love and energy.. 

[Tyler Robinson]

True love is mental connection. 

You feel sorrow when that person feels sorrow. 

Thats true love. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden, 

Take me. Hold me. Make me fall asleep in your arms. 

Make me yours. 

I'll suck you. I'll worship you. 

I will do everything as you please. 

Just give me some space in your arms. 

I crave your masculine energy and your love. 

[Tyler Robinson]

This entity is heavily masculine. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Puerevirden is a masculine ancestral spirit entity. 

I don't want to love a man anymore. I somehow don't get enough value out of it. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

All I see is a strong sense of low self worth. Your fundamental worth is not dependent on what others think about you. The moment you'll realize that the better things will be. 

In this moment you're giving way too power, value and importance to other people in a way that what they say is immediately threatening to your inner core, ego and sense of self. 

Work on your mentality. Also there could be a component of self judgement. You could be judging yourself harshly on the inside without actually realizing that you are doing this subconsciously. Release yourself, realize that being a human comes with a package of imperfections and flaws and being at the lower end of the social hierarchy is sometimes a blessing because life can be very simple at these levels with less competition and less fake people. There's a lot of psychopathic people at the top who crave sucess and money and do so in unethical ways. Also do gratitude journaling and see what you can be grateful for that you already got. Godspeed. 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

19 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

List of entities 

• Nelhemina
• Gaurzeugus
• Alpha Male 1
• Larka 1, 2 and 3.
• Gaurgoul - any night entity that is ghostly and romantic. A skeleton. 
• Rooberstifin
• Snake 
• Puerevirden

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

But the most frequent reason is that I see no chemistry building between. I feel no spark, no attraction. They don't say much other than that they like me. They hardly hold a conversation. I'm not good at conversations either. So there's awkward silences and pauses. Not much to share. They don't engage me. Most of them are a bit Impatient. I like to take things slowly. They immediately want me to say yes to them. And I can't do that if I don't feel the connection. It builds up pressure to say yes just to satisfy them but I don't like doing that. So it ends in a rejection. Sometimes I give them time but it's the same thing again. They get Impatient wanting a quick answer from me without actually waiting to develop a connection. For me it's like a guy has to slowly warm up to me, be like a sweet friend, win my heart, read my mind, get mentally intimate before he can be sexual with me, otherwise I just don't feel it. I have never had casual sex, I'm not into that. I want a meaningful relationship. So I want a deep connection before sex. I think most guys who approach don't care about connection. They don't bother putting a lot of effort. I feel like they don't value relationships or even wanting to understand me fully. It's like they probably just want a girl. Maybe I'm wrong. But either way, whether they truly like me or not, in the absence of attraction, chemistry, connection I cannot really say yes. I want to feel like I really like the guy, and I want to find him charming and that romantic spark. 

[Tyler Robinson]

We're all looking for that romantic energy and we never find it. 

Love is fickle and compatibility in the material world is a useless endeavor. 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

The real world is a hard world. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Maybe I should not act arrogant and listen to people sometimes. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

This was Integral's advice. 

Got to be better at filtering men out based on there dating profile. If they are not at stage green don’t waste any time dating them. Look for the word spiritual but not religious in the profile and other indications of emotional intelligence that you can infer based on their hobbies and lifestyle.

It’s very dangerous for you to date people below green on the dating app because they will very likely push for sex on the first date and you will cave in and not know how to say no to him. Resulting in sex with someone you don’t want to have sex with and trauma.

in general you’re only compatible with people who have very high emotional intelligence and a willingness to understand mental health problems. Without that willingness it will only be fighting and arguing and them trying to change you through judgement.

Please be very careful on first date in real life, be ready to punch someone in the face. It’s extremely common for a guy to aggressively make a move on these dating apps on first dates and most shy girls who can’t say no properly just go with it not expecting it to escalate. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm pasting user  KH2 's replies as well so I can contemplate on them later. 

This is what he had to say 

 

Jesus fucking Christ girl. I know everyone on this forum is trying to be politically correct, and nice and shit, and that's good to a degree, but you should really just finally let some guy actually fuck you, and finally move on with your life, towards pursuing more important things. You've been literaly stuck in the same fucking loop for YEARS AND YEARS.

And also mods, please do not give me warning points for this post, but instead straight up ban me please. I need to reduce my screen time and time spent on the internet heavily. Thanks

 

..... 

 

Yeah, just like I thought, you're gonna take the "transcended, above things, fake empathy" approach. You're preaching to me about screen time and low self control? You're spending your whole day on this forum doing fuck-all, while I'm spending my time actually doing something. This can be easily proven by looking at our post histories, and comparing them.

But have fun going around in circles until the day you die. You are literaly wasting your life away, and you're even proud of it. Unbelievable.

 

....... 

You can still be sexual, and fullfil the dream and image of being a trophy wife. That's still doable even at your age. What I'm trying to convey, is that you should develop a healthy relationship towards sexuality - not being repressed, but not being obsessed about it either. What you've been doing so far, is not healthy for you, it's obsessive. You should always seek to improve your actual real life experience, instead of living in your imagination. I just think things are not gonna end well for you if you'll continue in this life trajectory - and noone here seems to care enough to tell you that. But it needs to be said.

Also, you don't have to have a strong career, but you should be able to somehow figure out how to survive on your own, otherwise you'll never going to be able to fulfill your trophy wife dream in the first place, because you're in a bad position in life, living with your abusive mother. It will also be good for your mental state, having an actual passion which you can make a living of off, and you'll stop obsessing over sex so much. It will be good for you.

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

  2 hours ago, KH2 said:

You're spending your whole day on this forum doing fuck-all, while I'm spending my time actually doing something.

You might actually have a point. Maybe you want me to stop thinking about sex, love, dating, romance altogether and focus on other important stuff if that's what you're trying to convey. But what do you want me to do? Make money, career etc. But I'm not a man to think like that. I'm not too career oriented. I don't want a lot of money. Yea I could be dis-illusioning myself only thinking about romance all day. Alternatively this part of my life could be the one thing that hurts me and subsequently matters more than anything to me. Maybe you have a point that I have ignored. I didn't really care about any other aspect of my life. Here's the block though. This part doesn't feel like it's getting resolved properly. It's not because I feel horny. I feel empty without meeting the one and only or at least having a modicum of that connection I'm looking for. It was my lifelong dream of mine to be the wife to a man I would be perfectly in love with, you might suggest me that this is idealistic. I will take your point into consideration although in my situation, it's not that cut and dry as to just abandon the whole facet of dating and simply move on, it can come back to bite me later. I have to get this essential part sorted out until it's too late. It's also closely linked to my mental illness (if you do a rough research on my mental illness, you'll easily figure out why I act this way) so resolving all these dating hits and misses has a crucial link to my overall survival, if I push this one block and get it sorted, I feel like I can handle other stuff easily, that's why I'm so keen on it.