___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

Yesterday I felt horny again. 

. 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm a bit tired. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

And I wanted to die for you. 

I felt like I met you in another universe. Where were you? 

So

 

 

 

Edited October 9, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

My next sexual fantasy 

I imagined myself sitting in a car. And he had trapped me there. Ummm.  

He looked into my eyes. Grabbed my arm. Told me that he desires me. Offered me money. I declined the money part. I kept looking down. I just didn't know what to say.. And out of nowhere he leans in to kiss me. He held my face. 

I freaked out. Banged on the car window. I kept asking for help. I told him to let me out. 

After some time I calmed down. He was being okay. 

He told me to get in the back of the car.

He sat there silently watching me. It was a rainy night. We were in an isolated place. 

He held my face and kissed me. I wasn't very tensed this time. 

I took my clothes off.. I kept looking into his eyes. 

That's when he  fucked me. 

 

This was beautiful. 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm just hurt right now. I'm better off with my dreams. 

[Tyler Robinson]

My corpse was looking for a suitable grave. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Yoohoo he just read everything I wrote 

 

 

Yay.

 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Yea exactly. That's what I meant. It seems like it's a garb that women develop over time because society doesn't give them enough love same way society has incels, rapists, exploitative players, deceitful guys, unhappy toxic males etc because their needs are unmet so they develop behaviors as a coping mechanism so we blame their character, shame them, mock them instead of understanding the reasons behind their behaviors. Easy to shame and mock. Difficult to understand. Same goes with women's behaviors. Instead of blaming the person, it's about owning that this is what our society is and many are left with unmet needs and of course trauma. The objective is to not hate, shame or criticize or put down someone for their character flaws but to turn your Masculinity and take charge and embrace the flaws of the opposite sex (this is a part of your abundance as a male) where you give room for someone imperfect to get love from you. It's called being non-judgmental and showing compassion. This part of your Masculinity makes you a strong person. It shows your capacity to love a woman who is not perfect. A boy will judge a slut. Laugh at her. A man will love a slut. That's the difference. 

We don't become our best selves by pairing with someone who is perfect. In fact our best selves are tested, challenged and displayed even created when we are paired with someone who is not perfect. That's how God is testing our love. It's always easy to love someone who is perfect. It's always easy to see beauty in something that is already beautiful. But we don't become strong in life by facing easy situations. It's the harder things that make us stronger. It's the challenging things that  bring out the best in us. 

This also applies to femininity.if a woman always stayed with a perfect man, what will she gain for herself? But if she stayed with an asshole, her capacity to understand and forgive will improve, maybe she will even fall in love with an incel or a violent person, maybe her love will make him a better person 

This situation already happened in my life. My ex was a brutal player violent asshole kind of a person. He used to have deep anger issues towards women because he wasn't loved as a child. But when I came into his life, instead of judging him as a violent person or an asshole, I decided to show him compassion and forgiveness and show him my love and trust, and within like a year, he was a changed man, my love had transformed him to be less hateful towards women, he became less angry, his anger was the lowest level from the time I had met him, he was not completely changed but a significant drop in his anger or violent behavior and he wanted to turn his life and work harder to make it better. 

I realized that he needed love. If I had judged him as an imperfect guy and left him and if all women had done the same, he would have probably hated himself all his life and never found the love to cure his anger. He would have always been bitter towards women for rejecting him. But my love helped him to cure his inner bitterness. He felt good and he thanked me for being by his side when none of his exes or family would support him. 

For me it was a lesson in growth as well because my capacity to non judgementally understand the other person grew exponentially, I became aware that love can heal and my heart became bigger. This is not to say that you should be in a toxic relationship, of course, if it's toxic you must leave, but I'm just saying that growth does not always happen in a comfortable environment, you have to deal with challenging situations to have that growth. In fact your most growth will come from your deepest most confusing experiences in life. 

To be able to love a man who wasn't perfect, I was able to be more compassionate and in some ways that only added to my femininity. It made me more loving and more feminine. 

That's why dark traits in the opposite sex are not always an indicator that you should just dump a person, but you can also heal them by understanding their situation and by showing them love. And that can also add to your masculinity/ femininity. 

For example, I've seen men who are with girlfriends that aren't perfect, let's say she is the type who is always full of shit, what I have observed is that such men have greater depth and generosity and maturity in their attitude and they are also able to have a fulfilling relationship because they aren't constantly complaining about their partner, they are able to integrate their own shadows of judgment and understand the reasons why their partner acts a certain way, and this understanding itself becomes a solid foundation to the relationship, because she is grateful that he is giving her so much room in the relationship despite her obvious flaws and that makes her admire, value, trust and respect him even more. She sees him as a stronger masculine figure who is not being mad at her but instead able to trust her and work with her which other judgemental guys won't offer her, this man appears stronger to her and he appears as someone that she can rely on and learn from to become a better person, someone who can lead her and guide her  in a good direction, also someone that she now has to prove herself to, since he showed her trust, in a way that it becomes her responsibility to respect that trust, which also puts the onus on her to behave better as an obligation to continue to earn and keep his trust and respect. 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

What will a strong man say to a woman - 

1. I trust you 

2. I won't shame you 

3. I won't judge you 

4. I will forgive you and offer you my compassion. 

5. I won't complain 

4. I respect you 

5. I love you 

6. I embrace your flaws and I am ready to look past them to see your love. 

 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Although whatever I mentioned above comes with its own set of caveats. It doesn't apply to all situations 

 

You could be in a very horrible toxic relationship and you don't have to serve someone's purpose. You could dump or break off knowing that this person is not trustworthy or incapable of change.. 

Especially if someone comes with an entire list of Toxic traits . Or if someone is openly arrogant, belligerent and not willing to change. If someone takes advantage of your empathy, compassion, mercy or forgiveness over and over leaving you frustrated. 

These are the situations showing compassion and forgiveness is only making it worse for every party. Nobody is changing. Nothing is happening. 

You cannot work it out with such people. 

The capacity to show compassion and forgiveness for someone's flaws only works in 2 specific scenarios - 

1... Where the person is showing willingness to change their flawed behavior, for example they are ready to work on their anger issues. And they are constantly complaining about how a lack of room/space /time/forgiveness/understanding /cooperation /compassion from your end is stalling their growth and not allowing them enough room or chance to overcome their flaws or grow as a person. 

2....where the person is not showing willingness to change. And they really want you to ignore their flaws and look past their behavior/flaws and see the net positive they bring to the relationship and also see their love for you. 

 

These 2 situations are where it would be worthwhile to rethink and place your trust and respect into the relationship. 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

How to be more feminine? 

(this will be discussed in the journal later) 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I was also going to talk about hypocrisy, inauthenticity, frankness in expression, pedestalizing, social validation, unrealistic standards and expectations, improvement over time, ability to love someone for who they are, being judgemental but not being overly judgemental and not being completely non judgemental, and a host of issues in relationships when you don't want to deal with reality and instead love sugarcoating things 

[Tyler Robinson]

This was helpful. 

On 10/9/2022 at 4:11 AM, GLORY said:

hot, feminine, slim or curvy would be nice
sensitive, gentle, tender,
soft skin, thicker lips, pretty

wanting to make me satisfied
seeing me as authority
loving my attention, appreciating it
being highly interested in me
passionate about me, desiring me
surrendering without resistance,
showing her vulnerability
sexual towards me

intimate with me, 
asking me to touch her, begging me to touch her
feeling joy and blessing in my presence
loving everything about me
emotional

 

[Tyler Robinson]

You know what thing hurts me the most. 

 

Is someone who is pretending like they care about me but actually they don't. 

 

 

PHONY PEOPLE THEY ARE. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

You're so romantic and sweet. I just wanna sleep on your dick.. Fall asleep on it. 

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

hot, feminine, slim or curvy would be nice
sensitive, gentle, tender,
soft skin, thicker lips, pretty

I think I tick all of these boxes. I'm sensitive, soft and feminine. I'm tender. Thick lips.... Umm. Maybe big lips. Pretty??? Maybe most men have always called me pretty. 

wanting to make me satisfied
seeing me as authority

Yess... 

loving my attention, 

Yesss

appreciating it

Yess 
being highly interested in me

Yess 

 

passionate about me, desiring me

Yess

surrendering without resistance,

Tiny amounts of resistance 

showing her vulnerability
sexual towards me

Of course 

intimate with me, 
asking me to touch her, begging me to touch her

Not begging

 

feeling joy and blessing in my presence
loving everything about me
emotional

Emotional - yesss

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Will say goodbye to this forum in the next 2 weeks. 

 

I'll say final goodbye to the forum on October 25, 2022.

 

 

 

Thats the last anyone will see of me. 

[Proserpina]

@Tyler Robinson Why are you leaving?  We’ll all miss you….

[Tyler Robinson]

@Proserpina don't worry. I won't leave journaling. Just public forum. 

I'll be here when you want me. 

Cheers. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm very sensitive