___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry22/17

I was worried about you on 3 separate occasions. 

When you decided to kill yourself and you swallowed around 100 tramadol pills. It scared the shit out of me. I was terrified. I was crying the whole night when you told me that. I couldn't take it. I wish I was there to tell you not to do that. 

One when you told me that the muscles in the right side of your  face aren’t really synchronized with the ones on your left. That was kinda scary to me. I really wanted to be by your side every trip. I am really worried everytime you do all this. 

And then when you told me that there was someone who wanted to take your life. You scared the shit out of me. 

If anything happens to you, I'd sincerely hope God kills me because I can't continue knowing you don't exist. You are the other half of my soul. I trust you. 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry23/17

That thread I wrote. Do you remember that one? 

The one where I wrote about bipolar meds and Psychedelics. And I said it was for a friend. Nope. I lied to you. I confess. I lied. It was meant for you. 

Because deep down I was so worried that you would mix your bipolar medication with your psychedelic stuff. If you don't remember or not, you had told me that you were reckless with your psychedelic use. That you were addicted to it at some point. 

I fear something like that might happen again. And you told me that you were off your meds. So that terrified me. I began to worry that you might mix the two. Now you never care to listen to me, do you? Is there a way I can even remotely say something to you without pissing you off??? So I thought maybe if I start a thread you would get a clue not to do it. 

Ok. I've vented enough about you. 

It's time for me to move on.

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry24/17

My emo guy is a Virgo who is born in August  and Virgo have fluctuating emotions. 

So I have P and S and V. 

P is so emotional. S is sensual and V is a bit psycho stalkerish. V is a pure gold. 

V is protective and gentle with me and sometimes rough and punishing. V for victory? 

S is my fix. 

Whereas P is someone I share emotional intimacy with.. 

V demands a lot out of me. Very demanding of my attention.. Follows me around. 

V is a Virgo too. S is a scorpio. 

Two Virgo and 1 scorpio.. 

I've also met someone who I call Steph. 

I consider him my soulmate. 

Steph is a story that I created around a village Belle Maddie that falls in love with a carpenter/car mechanic and she has a friend. Main characters. This girl is vivacious. Spirited. She dies tragically yet her spirit continues to carry her love saga with Steph writing about Steph forever, her poetry, her thoughts from beyond the grave. Fate should bring them together to fulfill the departed soul of Maddie. 

 

Finally P, V, S and Steph complete my soulmate journey with their interesting qualities and experiences with me. 

All are strong characters except S, and so they will be permanent characters in my book. 

 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry25/17

P lives in an apartment in Colorado. He works as a driver. 

Sometimes I sit in his apartment. Just to chill. 

I often make some ice cream for him when he comes home. 

We both drink and chill. 

Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we laugh at each other. 

P I love you. 

 

 

I have four different scenarios here. 

Scenario 1

I'm romantically involved with P

 

 

 

Scenario 2

V is my husband 

 

 

 

Scenario 3

I visit S sometimes when I'm still married to V. 

 

 

 

Scenario 4

I'm a village Belle in love with Steph 

Yesterday P and I meditated for a bit. I wanna try LSD with him. P — there's a whole world of opportunities waiting for us. You don't have to be depressed. You don't have to feel sick of life. I'm with you. I wanna hold you, touch you, feel you, love you. I'm with you P. We're together. In love. You and I. There's nothing that love cannot beat. 

P loves to play guitar. And he loves writing poetry. He loves writing me love songs. When he sings to me, I get all butterflies in my tummy. 

P is bipolar. He struggles a bit with depressive disorder. I don't have a problem with that though because I myself suffer from a depressive disorder. So I understand his struggles. 

 

ECC WORKACC

Don't know why I wrote this. 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry26/17

I love you. P

You stole my heart. You took my breath away. You're in my heart forever and I'm slave to your love.. 

I worship you. I love you deeply. I can't live without you. You are my love, you are my soul. You have my heart. I promised myself that you're the man I will love forever and only you and none other. I won't love any other man except you. 

The day you told me - "give yourself to me," I gave myself to you and never looked back ever since. 

I can die for you. I swear I will give up my life for you. I have surrendered my heart and my life to you. 

Whether you love me or not, it's not relevant anymore. 

Whether you hate me or not, it doesn't matter anymore 

Whether you like someone else or not , it won't piss me off anymore 

Whether you give your love to me or not, I will still love you just the same. 

I want nothing from you. No commitment nothing. I don't even want sex. 

I just want to keep loving you and worshipping you. 

What you do of me is up to you. 

I won't be hurt no matter what you do. 

If you feel like you wanna kill me, then here I am, I surrender my body and my willpower to you.. Do as you wish 

I have fallen in love with you and you have found the way to my heart. 

This is what I wanted all my life. It's you. Only you. I love you. 

 

You know what I like the most on your body. That place. That place on your neck. Right in the center, a bit lower. Yes yes yes, right there. Right near your throat but just below it, where it's a bit shallow. That central place. Right there... Hehe I was looking up for the scientific name for this place. It's called the Jugular notch or the Suprasternal notch. 

I want to place a knife right there and cut the Jugular. I'm joking. I want to touch there and feel all of my love flowing through it. 

Keep touching there and you'll feel my love. Hehe. My love flows through that place into your body. 

 

 

I idolize you and I crush on you and I'm crazy for you.

 

You're the man of my life. The king of my heart.. The owner of my body. 

 

Yea I know this is one sided. But I'm deeply in love with you. Wish I could be one with you. But where would be the fun. The fun lies in being separated this way. 

This is the song I chose for you. 

https://youtu.be/BwLbI9Oj7BM

 

We come together. We separate. This separation is beautiful 

We come together. We separate. This separation is beautiful 

We come together. We separate. This separation is beautiful

We come together. We separate. This separation is beautiful 

We come together. We separate. This separation is beautiful 

You and me forever 

You and me forever 

You and me forever 

You and me forever 

You and me forever 

You and me forever 

He is the sweetest person in my life. I feel like I met my soulmate. My heart syncs with his. We chat for hours some days. And I usually don't say anything at all. But we laugh so much. 

 

He tells me all the stuff that he comes across on his work. 

 

Last year (or maybe even before that), I was studying the Skinwalker Ranch which is in Utah and I must say I'm very fascinated by it. Heard a lot about it. 

So while researching the Skin walker ranch phenomenon, I came across a place that is similarly known, it's called the Bradshaw Ranch in Sedona, Arizona. And I came across the video of the ranch. 

And I absolutely fell in love with this music. 

Tag.... #ranch

How to tag something here 

 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry27/17

 

P is a Virgo. He is born in August. I'm born in February. I'm a Pisces. 

 

I usually fall for earth signs a lot. 

My first bf was an Aries. My second was a Taurus. Tauruses are always my biggest crushes. My third was a Pisces (kinda funny). Fourth was a Taurus. 

A lot of my friends are generally Taurus or Virgo. 

I rarely get along with another Pisces 

My compatibility with Scorpio and Sagittarius, Capricorn and Aquarius is low. I generally don't get along with these people. 

I generally make great friends with Cancer but it never reaches to the point of romance. 

P is a Virgo. Virgo can make me feel sexy and comfortable. They are kinda independent and open minded. But old fashioned and I'm old school type too. 

 

One sided love, crushing, pain, melancholy, melancholic writing, person of interest, compartmentalization, idolization, fantasy, expression of love, deep love, heartanglement, poetry, choosing my soulmate, having an open heart, essence of true love, filling that void, eternal love, eternal romance. 

Costa Mee... Around this world. 

 

I still feel like I am in a one sided relationship with him. He hasn't yet fully confessed to loving me. But I'm already in love . I think about him everyday. I'm crazy for him. 

I adore him. I worship him. 

I have been liking him for some time but my feelings weren't strong. Back then I saw him as a friend. They work as a driver. 

Sometimes he is also working on nights. Like late night shifts. We do chat during those times. 

But we usually talk when he gets home to his small apartment. He lives on the 3rd floor. 

I will not say his name. Only P. 

P is very gentle with me. Very emotional guy. 

I'm sensitive too. 

I love P

 

This is the song of our life P.... 

 

 

Lyrics. I know you're courageous. And I'd never seen you. I know you're courageous. And I'd never seen you. I know you're courageous. And I'd never seen you.

https://youtu.be/xN5hY51EImg

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry28/17

This video is so on point. About compatibility between a Virgo and a pisces. 

My Virgo man P is exactly like this 

 

Morning we had a small argument. He complained that I'm too vague and confused him too much. Because I never give a straightforward answer to  his questions. 

So I sent him this video. 

This guy is so funny. 

 

 

My 3 signs 

Big 3 signs

SUN SIGN - PISCES

MOON SIGN - CANCER 

ASCENDANT - SCORPIO

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry29/17

Omg this. 

Transcribing 

Pisces dealing with Virgo 

We both know that I'm not the one for you.

Pisces - you could be emotionally bored, discontent. Wanting to look at other options but

 

Wow this was on point. 

Just wow 

Pisces dealing with a Virgo 

Messages 

You don't know how hard it was to let you go. 

We both know that I'm not the one for you. 

One of us feels like we are meant for each other. The other one might be feeling the opposite. 

My life is not together as it seems. I feel you're leaving me behind. 

So somebody here just wasn't right for us. 

So someone let the other person go.. Possibly. 

Somebody felt like it just wasn't the right time. They didn't have their shit together like they have made it appear or you didn't. 

Or somebody feels like the other one leaving them behind. 

Somebody here may feel like insufficient or unadequate to the other. 

Laugh... Where the fuck is your sense of humor. Somebody here has a bit uptight energy. Somebody here may need to laugh a little  bit.. 

You need a good cry. Get the ugly cry on and let the shit go. 

Somebody either needs to cry it out or get out with friends, go laugh. 

Watch comedy. Try to release some kind of tension. 

Somebody feeling fearful. 

Inadequate.. Something to that nature 

Somebody is seeing you in their dreams. 

Power card for Pisces - strength card. 

The Pisces is stepping into their power. Stepping into your strength. 

(Lmao this is so true. I really feel like I am taking all my power back) 

 

Power card for Virgo - Wise Counselor 

Virgo you're trying to find unity with a spiritually minded community. You might need to ask the divine for help. Trust the answers will come. 

Show emotion card for both Pisces and Virgo. 

For Pisces 

Your are bored and emotionally discontented. The angel on these cards is guiding you to accept self love. You don't have to find love in someone else okay/whatever. Just choose yourself. You don't have to pick an option just so that you have somebody, no, choose yourself. 

The card reads - you guys failing to recognize the magical opportunity, missing the point, distractions of daily life. Discontentment, boredom, lost in your own world, wake up all right. 

You're feeling strong and courageous and also holding back from love. 

Maybe you don't want love right now. You're holding back. But the angels are guiding you to fall in love with an earth sign.

Emotions for Virgo 

You could be dealing with someone who walked away from you.

If this person walked away from you maybe they want to come back. 

Maybe this person wants to come back to you but you are rejecting them.

I romanticize placing a knife on your throat. But I can't kill you even if I wanted to. Because I love you. That place in your throat is where my love flows. I want to touch there. 

The worst thing is to let your blood pool. Nah. I can't let that happen. I can't watch that. 

These days I'm actively working on my throat Chakra. Because my love flows through my throat to yours. 

Why do I feel like in my past birth I slashed your throat? 

I don't have any marks on my neck  though.

Last night you implied that I was going to kill you. Telling me that I should place a knife on your neck and that it would be easier that way for me to take you out is probably the worst thing you said to me and the most hurtful. 

You better apologize right now or else I'll carry this pain to my grave. 

I can't take it. It's torture. 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry30/17

It's torture what you said. Your words could kill me if not your knives or guns. No I'm not afraid to die at your hands so don't tell me how powerful you are. I don't care about it, you can keep boasting about your powers. It wont matter even if you wanted to kill me, I'd rather die that way than any other. At least the satisfaction that I died at your hands in your arms. 

But don't you ever. Don't you ever ever ever say that again. Don't you ever say that I should place a knife on your neck. Because it hurts like a dagger, your stupid words. It seems that you are good with words, especially when it comes to hurting me. 

You're pure torture because you made me feel all this guilt by proxy. 

P, I just wanna be with you. Drunk in your love. 

 There are two things I like on you. Your lips. Because they are so so so sweet. When you kiss me, I feel them. Velvety feel.. Don't smoke. 

And I like your neck. Because... Hehe....I feel like your neck is cute. I want to tickle you there. Once you told me that I should be leaving you some hickeys on there. I get so emotional every time you talk about hickeys. And I jokingly said it's something only men do to women and not the other way around. 

Me want them hickeys.....too.

Your passion is irresistible.. 

You're my shooting star, the light in my eyes and the one that makes my heart tickle. 

 

I can't live without you anymore. I love you. Forever and more. You are always sitting close to me telling me all these lovely things. 

You are always telling me how much you love me. I like to sit in the dark with you 

In your apartment. 

On a rugged mattress.. We just chatting away the evenings. 

You come home from work and I always wait for you. 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry31/17

You're the guy of my life. The ultimate man for me. The one I fell in love with. The one meant for me. We're so into each other. 

You're skinny, tall and not too tall hehe. Just the right type.. 

And appearances don't mean shit. I don't even care how you look to be honest. 

But I have fallen madly in love with you. 

We would make such a sweet couple. 

I'm in love with you. 

I could shower all of my love all over you and still never get tired. 

 

P is an emo guy. Exactly my type. The problem is that he is a male. A guy. So.... I never quite understand male emotions. 

Although I have always put my best foot forward whenever they needed any kind of emotional support or help. 

In fact I have gone out of my way to help them 

 

But still.... Something is missing. With an emo guy you never know. The problem is that I can't read his mind. I don't know what will set him off or what will make him happy. 

For the time being .... That is. 

I really really deeply love this man and I think he would make a great partner.

This is the first time I'm falling for a guy who is super emotional and sensitive and not like  the cocky ones I used to date before. 

So recently I have found a guy who lives in the US and we have known each other before. It's a long distance relationship. We chat for hours. I have fallen hard for him. He likes me too. He is cute and sexy. 

He prefers to keep to himself and doesn't open up much. He is a very emotional guy/sentimental type. He has cried before and language he uses is generally emotional. We bond with each other over our shared emotional nature. 

The thing is sometimes when he shares emotional/sad things with me, I tend to laugh a little inside. (I don't show that I'm secretly laughing at him or just not able to relate). I find it hard to empathize with him because I don't expect him to be weak or fragile or sensitive. The whole idea that a man should not be vulnerable/emotional is baked in my head. I don't laugh at him obviously so it doesn't show. 

Whenever a female friend cries her pain out with me, I immediately relate and cry with her. Not with this man. 

Of course I don't have bad intent and I would love to be his emotional supporter but I'm struggling in this capacity. 

But when he does open up, I end up  showing superficial empathy yet I can't really relate to his anxieties and frustrations and issues as a man. I find it hard to grasp how he feels or how he is going to react to whatever I have to say and as a result we get into fights later. I cannot preemptively judge the situation and that causes me to not be emotionally aligned with him, my responses causing more harm than good. He detects my lack of sensitivity or finds it odd to open up to me and recoils back into his shell.. 

How can I (as a female) understand and relate to Male emotions better? 

 

I love you Steph. 

When I was  cold, you placed a warm blanket on me. That made me feel better. 

You are so kind. 

You encourage and support me. I feel so blessed with you. 

You're the light of my life. 

Steph, 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry32/17

:05 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Entry11/5

I met Billy last week 

 

 

 

He sent me this text. 

 

"I'm picky n I picked u." 

 

So cute 

 

  On 8/10/2022 at 1:11 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

Entry12/5

 

 

Billy, James, Eric and Rob D. 

Rob is a Pisces. 

Billy - Virgo 

James - Cancer 

Eric - na

Rob D - Pisces

........................................................ 

Vincent is a Virgo 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---------------------------/------------------

James  is caring, sweet and kind. 

He is very delicate.. 

I'm seeing three guys in the moment. I am not committed to anyone for the time being. 

Just flirting and getting to know them. 

It's Billy, James and Eric. 

 

Billy is Virgo. James is a Cancer 

 And I don't know about Eric. Didn't ask him. 

-----------------------------/------------------

With James it's more platonic than sexual. With Billy it's more about sexual attraction. 

-----------------------------/------------------

Billy is kinda matured. James is sweet and emotional and very understanding. 

And Eric is playful. 

Eric called me berrylee I remind him of berries 

 

I like that name. 

 

And in my dreams I thought about you. 

 

I've never liked scorpios. They're good people but I never get along with them or I never feel sexy around them. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry33/17

Eric Sheppard 

 

Right now I have met 5 men in the past month and they are keeping me busy. I like all of them. I want to flirt with them. I'm not interested in a serious relationship right now. I just want to enjoy my time with them. 

It's Billy, James, Eric, Rob D and Vincent. 

New people I'm meeting. 

I really don't know because they all vie for my attention. 

I have been played before and now I'm kinda used to it. 

It doesn't matter anymore. I don't feel anything. 

I might look for a sturdy relationship in the near future but right now I seriously need a break from constant dating. 

These men are interested in me. I still think of P and spending time with him. 

I was in Colorado with him for some time before I shifted to Columbus. 

I might still want to talk to him. But he is an emo guy and I don't want to engage that energy unless I'm serious with him. I feel him, all the time. 

Billy is a bit controlling. 

James is, oooooooh, so kind and warm. 

Rob D acts like a partner in crime, same Pisces energy. 

Vincent is a bit sociopathic and manipulative. Same old. 

But I like Vincent for other reasons

I'm in love with Anthony. I like this guy. 

I want to write my feelings about him in this journal. 

 

Anthony makes me laugh. He is too funny. 

Everyday I fall in love with him just a little more. 

He told me that he would strap me to his back like a toddler. Too funny. 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry34/17

I love you Eric. My final and only love. 

 

An imaginary conversation between me and Eric. 

Yea, I know. I don't know why you betrayed me Eric. Why did you expose me like that? 

Eric - yup. Berrylee you don't get it. 

Berrylee/Tyler - I loved and trusted you deeply. I could have given my life to you. 

Eric - I don't know about that. 

Berrylee /Tyler - you know an awful lot. About me. 

Eric - I felt like you were after me. 

Berrylee /Tyler - I trusted you from the bottom of my heart. I wanted nothing more than your love. When I looked into your eyes I became one with you. 

I didn't try to get rid of you. I loved you. I wanted you.. 

Eric - then why wouldn't you wanna be my girlfriend? Why didn't you want a relationship with me? 

Berrylee /Tyler - because I feared a breakup and thought we would never be together. 

Why would I want to get rid of you if I loved you. 

Are you comparing me to Dalia Dippolito 

 

Yeah she lied. But she lied to kill her husband 

I wasn't even your wife. I lied to get you, not to kill you. 

There's a huge difference between me and her. She didn't love her husband. So she wanted to get rid of him. I loved you. So I wanted that we never break up. And the only way that was going to happen was if we were not in a relationship. 

I didn't want to be your girlfriend. I wanted to be your wife. 

I know you're laughing at me. 

Our hearts are one Eric. You'll get me through this. I trust you. 

The most beautiful moment between us was when you kissed me. 

 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry35/17

Everytime I look at you. I want to rest my head over your shoulder. Gaze into your eyes. You got emerald eyes. Tyler and Eric/Berrylee and Eric. 

 

We're one. My romantic aspirations. 

You called me your girl. Then keep me that way. 

You're particularly good at impressing me 

 

You'll fuck me so deep.. Mmmm

I'll bite your dick. Prppp. 

 

×××××××××××××~~~~×××××××××××××

You can slap my ass. Eric. Really hard. 

Lolololololol. I love you. 

You aren't like other guys though. 

You know how to dominate me and not let me go. 

You understand how I feel inside. 

We're connected. 

 

Eric, please don't leave me. Not like M. Not like B. 

Don't do what others did 

I really want you. 

I need your protection. 

 

Deep down you know I'm worth it. 

Because I love you. Everything makes sense now. 

I didn't want to lose you. Our love is volatile and violent, warm blooded. 

Our love is tough. 

Our love is hot and blazing, and we are two souls into one. 

Eric, you know I'm that kind of girl. I don't settle for anything less. I want all or I want none. 

You know me. I'm not going to do anything half hearted. 

I go in full. 

You're the kind of guy I was really looking for. 

You're mine. Now I'm free. 

You look good in a yellow shirt. 

Canary yellow 

I like that. 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry36/17

I just wanna cuddle with you. 

While you fuck me. I like your turtleneck shirts. 

Eric. 

I try. 

To be a good girlfriend to you 

I admire your strength. 

And I like your possessiveness 

It's not Bad. 

You kinda direct me towards what I want. 

You push me to get stuff  done. 

I like your way of control. It's not too controlling and not too passive. Just the right balance of owning me and letting me be myself. Not too Intrusive and not too lenient. You tame me well. 

I could never be with a passive guy. It's an attraction killer. 

You are kinky on top of everything. I like that the most about you. You know my kinks. You arouse me like crazy Eric. 

You don't make me feel insecure either. You possess me the right way. 

I never got the feeling that you don't like me and at the same time you don't put me on a pedestal. 

Maybe our love is real.. 

You're a Cancer and I'm a Pisces. 

Eric, I slept well. For the first time I felt good

 

You made me feel protected 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry37/17

You should ask me these questions 

(I'll chat with you later when I find time) 

Did you eat? 

Did you sleep well? 

Were you anxious? 

Did you have nightmares? 

How did you feel? 

 

 

Eric, I belong to you. I feel like reporting every little detail to you. 

I want to sit on your lap....... 

Yippeeeeee

 

And I want to eat ice cream with you. 

 

You treat me like a kid and I like that. 

 

I want that cow emoji 

 

I like how I can be a kid around you. 

Eric I would love if you do those things to me. 

Just touching my bare bum. 

Rubbing your skin against mine. Your hands I mean. Your hands are so strong and so soft. Your skin makes me feel warm 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry38/17 

I just need your hands caressing my butt. 

 

If you did that to me, I'm all yours

Just come closer and kiss me.. Look into my eyes, serenade me. With your passion. Tie me up to those poles and bars. Slowly and gently touch my bra and drag it down. Eric you're magical. You make me feel like a woman. Your naughty smile kills me everytime. Fuck me harder as you get closer. No space between us. Flick my hair to the side and place your palm on the side of my cheeks below my ears, pull me closer into your face and rub your lips on my cheeks and lips and put your tongue, twist it inside my mouth till I begin to orgasm to the rhythm of your fingers and lips, make me yours this moment and kill me with your moves. Cmon make me wet and I want to cum for you. We need to be dying in each other's arms. Why to waste any space, any time, make me yours, I'm waiting my prince. Get cozy and make me sick and drunk in your love, I'm feeling sexed up, ready for your slapping and pushing. Push yourself harder till you're deep within me while I moan and bicker, whimper and whisper, till then keep forcing yourself into me, this is a struggle I don't wanna resist, I might get sore with pain, but I want pure pleasure, pure in-dicktment. 

 

I was thinking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 

I was thinking of atomic bombs 

 

I was thinking of supernatural forces, the world, psychic energy deep reserves 

God's infinite energy that beats evil. 

 

Eric I'm kinda feeling dull. My whole body is giving up. 

It's raining here. Like a hailstorm. 

I feel the sounds on the roof my house.

 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry39/17 

I'm focused right now on well being. 

 

I wish you had owned me and then killed me. 

 

I'm still in love with Rob D. 

 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry40/17 

Oki I have 3/4 now. They have all been reduced to this. 

Anthony (sweet)

Eric Sheppard (the only one) 

Vincent the tattoo guy 

Rob D (the guy who never leaves me alone) 

I really like Vincent. I said I would want him my whole life. How long is it going to last? 

I have made up my mind that only Eric truly fits the bill. 

Even if I have to love someone, I cannot really do it without them reciprocating it in half measure at the very least. 

So Vincent is the sort of guy I love who doesn't love me back enough. 

 

 it's decided. It's Eric. 

 

I'm upset. Jim will never truly own me 

So I have to come back to Eric

 

Eric you're the only one right now. 

 

This is turning into a competition between the two of you. 

I don't know. 

You love me. Although I'm not too deeply connected to you.. Whereas with Jim it was the deepest connection I ever had. 

But Jim just doesn't care.. 

Meanwhile you do.. But you keep disappearing sometimes. 

You're dominating. But Jim was a juggernaut.. He could really put me in my place, full stop. He had a hold on me. 

But anyway. I kinda feel like Jim doesn't love me the way he used to. 

Eric, what can I do. 

I'm. Upset. 

Eric is my current boyfriend. I lub lub you. I'm sorry I said an awful lot about jim. It was a phase I was going through. Now I belong to you.. Mmmm. 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Entry41/17 

Eric, you and me are so good together. I love the cuddling and coodling. 

I'm trying hard to forget Jim. 

I want to be your wifey. Yay. 

Eric I don't know what to say. 

It's like your presence overwhelms me. 

I love you. 

I'm feeling sentimental. 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Tyler Robinson