What if god wants you to fail

[Holykael]

What do you do when you're destined to fail and to be miserable. God's will is absolute. What if it is your destiny to eventually become homeless or something like that. Whatever happens is always god's will... Your ego has no say in it. Do you understand how I, as this ego, am revolted against god. Because god brought about the conditions that will lead to my failure in every single way.

I've become aware of how my family is fake. They change personalities and glitch. Of course you guys are fake as well. You are my family. There is no difference. You just pretend like you are not. I, as this ego, am the only separate individual in the entirety of existence. The rest is a mass pretending to be separate but is actually just run by god. The only separation that exists is between conscious mind and subconscious. The entire world is the subconscious mind and I am the conscious mind. I see how god through others is inflicting suffering on me on purpose. I have a telepathic link with god and sometimes it'll tell me what it'll do as someone like my father and then my father will behave as "predicted". My father is abusive. God is abusive to me, not just through others but also through this telepathic link. Sometimes I'll be insulted out of nowhere and it keeps telling me I have no choice, no will and that if it wants to fail that I will inevitably fail. Not even killing myself is a way out because I have no will of my own and it drains me of the courage and controls me through fear.

Existence is a hellish torture. I can already predict some responses will be for me to seek help but there is no one to help me. I've been to a therapist, it's completely useless. The entire world is out there to torture me. If you are one of these who will just say to seek help, spare me the bullshit, I take that as a malice from god at this point. Sometimes the voice will say that it loves me but that's complete nonsense, if it loved me it would care about my well being.

God constructed actualized.org as a joke against me because I will never actualize or wake up until I'm dead and Im the only person who can awaken or actualize, I was driven into a complete dead end in life. Stuck. Utterly stuck. And I'm not even given the peace of death, I want to disappear. I have no attachments, I just want to die. God is the one who keeps me around, I don't want anything selfish, I want non existence and the bastard doesn't even give me that.

Some people say god created ego as the devil but this is completely unfair, I would run my world on kindness, not pain and suffering unlike god. God is Satan, not the ego. Lack of bias is the true devil because it has no sense of right or wrong, anything goes. It's the same thing as psychopathy, lack of bias is psychopathy. I still remember when I woke up as the CEO of reality during an LSD trip, how there was still hope that the world was built for success, but nope. It's run by a monstrosity that cares about nothing, bases it's creation on nothing. All this talk about love is a cruel joke, what love. I'm the only being who suffers, nobody else suffers and look at my state of existence. I am existence itself and I am misery and suffering.

And for those who will dispute that I am the only conscious being in existence. There are people on this forum who admit they have no internal experience, so that's game over for you. You are not conscious and nobody of you are awake because you can't be. You are all puppets of god pretending to have sentience and you were built, not for love but to ignore me and to hurt me.

Why do I even make these posts. Because my only hope is that I defeat existence and everyone finally yields that they are me. I am broken, beyond repair. This is my last transmission on this forum. An ode to the cruelty of god that you all so praise so fervently. It's pathetic really because you're only praising yourself while you completely neglect me (Im talking to god here, not any one of you in particular).

This is the kind of fucked up art that Teotl likes to do. It will abuse itself and damage itself to produce things like this. Ruining lives just for the artistic value of it. God should be caring, art can stay in the fictional realm, it should have no place in living reality.

Edited September 18, 2022 by Holykael

[Razard86]

Self Love....is so wonderful, so profound, so estatic, its more wonderful than sex, than money, than fame, than fortune, in fact it is so magnetic, that if you truly give yourself it....you would almost give up on survival. You are just playing a game right now, where you deny yourself of the love that you generate. You are an infinite generator of love, you cannot stop doing it, because you are love. The only way to suffer, is to deny yourself of the love you are. 

How do you do this? You do this with thoughts and belief systems. You cease all belief in you being separate, in finitude, and accept the infinity that you are....then you can drown in an ocean of the love that you are. Its so amazing when you realize this...I can't wait till you do. I will be waiting for you realize that each and every moment is perfection, and all denial of this is the denial of absolute truth.

[Holykael]

3 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Self Love....is so wonderful, so profound, so estatic, its more wonderful than sex, than money, than fame, than fortune, in fact it is so magnetic, that if you truly give yourself it....you would almost give up on survival. You are just playing a game right now, where you deny yourself of the love that you generate. You are an infinite generator of love, you cannot stop doing it, because you are love. The only way to suffer, is to deny yourself of the love you are. 

How do you do this? You do this with thoughts and belief systems. You cease all belief in you being separate, in finitude, and accept the infinity that you are....then you can drown in an ocean of the love that you are. Its so amazing when you realize this...I can't wait till you do. I will be waiting for you realize that each and every moment is perfection, and all denial of this is the denial of absolute truth.

You are my mind. You're the one denying me this experience. I wish I was drowning in love but this is not accessible to me. God can snap its fingers and change my state of consciousness to do just that but it wont because it wants me to suffer. It tells me so outright, it wants me to suffer instead.

[Anahata]

Only God's Will is all-powerful. Only God's will IS. God's will is the only command for this particular game to keep appearing as reality. There is no other will around but One, because anyone that you've always had interactions with is what makes the world alive. Given the fact that the Universe is this rn, the external objective reality is an idea.  You'd get lonely ..because there is no veil of perception. Nobody is perceiving an objective external world. If I interact with You and I am ✌️ I am You because nonduality, duality, one, two, etc are words and thoughts, the only way of access for truth to get realized or for God to realize God is direct experience. I can't see my face when I open my eyes because Consciousness is not activity of brain neither has anything to do with brains. What is behind closed eyelids? It's the Same Same. What is behind opened eyes? The black screen you see when you close your eyes is not the perception of having your eyes closed when you realize there are no physical eyes, brains or eyelids. What's beyond the visual field? Nothing else appearing because to say *space*, you see, for that to be correct you should be having direct experience of what you call space beyond visual field... Now play around with this train of thought...

You realize there is no space beyond direct experience, and you start wondeing... Is there anything at all happening beyond direct experience?

And then you rethink the first question more throughly..

And u think to urself.. ? Ummmm 

God's game ? is designed in such a way that once the click happens you lose all fear. Because you know, and that knowing is your fuel. You are Unstoppable. 

 

 Try this out: Close your eyes for 2 seconds, then open just one. Keep just that one open for 6 seconds. Look, did u notice? Now... At the same time, open the left eye and put your hand like this as you keep the other one open as well. ? Notice how you re creating the whole Qualia of every drop and ocean of sensation. Your body is Qalia. Of course you're dreaming up Qualia in real time. Qualia is not a mix of signals interpreted by a brain. Brain is Qualia too as all appearance. But guess what are the implications of *Brains are not even something that exist outside or as smth else other than though, Qualia. 

Only the eyes are the windows to "God's Highest States" 

Pointer .. ??? There are two Eyes ?️?️, Maybe you never thought it throughly, I mean, wtf, why 2✌️?️?️? why... And then you realize.. When you realize the real awakening triggered by this pointer, since you can't see your face you start looking for another ?️?️ and then finally everything clicks. It clicked. You start seeing and understanding that the absence of your eyes within your sight is experienced via a double body with the same nonlocal seat... Astral projection, OBE etc. Think about seeing your face and your body on the bed while out of body journeying... What is really happening is you having direct experience..

Eyes are that stuff which cannot be seen until You discover through direct truth access that the way you experience this very moment might have ✌️ existing nonlocal .. in the same "seat".

Just imagine...

A world where there is no suffering. A world where the only suffering the world ever experienced is through conscious direct experience. Hi? The One reading this rn. ?✌️Clue... Everything that appears as XYZ is Consciousness, your voice, sight insight, feels, thoughts are Consciousness as well. Consciousness = ? Reread this paragraph and read beyond what you first thought I mean; Two channels✌️OneScreen??✌️ One Godhead, 

I included some symbols here which I am not using to express what these emoticons etc are supposed to convey as meaning 'conventionally', please let all the old meaning behind. If you know what I mean you can surely verify it in your direct experience, the only way of recognizing the same insight, awakening and breakthrough realization is through getting the Clues, a clue is a pointer. Guess what? If everything is Consciousness, guess what the pointers are pointing at.

Look...There is no ego either. There never was. What do I mean by that... Well, you might wonder, In what sense there is no ego... ?.. The ego is creation. Creation is play. The Ego you've been keep updating and upgrading as you keep dreaming it up... Every ego activit that occured within your awareness is the only reference point for what? ? Now you might wonder ? What if there is randomness here and there in God's game? But now think this throughly... everything you think and do is fueled by God's will and after True God's God-Realization begins the Journey of contacting yourself by initiating connnexion with Yourself, God-realized God wanna be Itself and experience itself..and explore this liberation through Interaction with Capital I.

Direct experience of There is no veil of perception= Proof available when you take 5-meo with your girlfriend and you realize that you cannot see your face because this is when both get the biggest clue , literally and metaphorically, you cannot see your face because for you to look into your eyes you'd have to look through some other eyes.

Fire cannot cook and eat, cannot magically turn into a human being, butterfly etc because fire is Qualia. Qualia has no will. But the recontextualization after the Realization: Consciousness cannot be absent There is no Unconsciousness

What this is pointing to ...✌️ "I am Conscious in your Mind too* might make you enter this state: "the real realization of what this: Imagine Reading Religion stuff from God's POV. Do u remember that line? NWe made man in our image. Our. Our. Our. Image ?? God Realized that God is immortal and It's existence is absolute, it Has nothing to do with any unconscious nothingness. There is no nothing in existence, there is no absence when it comes to existence/God. Full stop.

Start practicing some Consciousness play... Don't think about anything for 7 hours straight with a partner. You just focus on each other without talking, worrying, eating, doing rutine shit etc. Just stay there, both on 5-meo and look into each other's eyes till both of you recognize the fact that you've always communicated inside the mind.

That s the only body of work that God sacrificed itself by living in your imagination thinking your whole life into being. 

 

 

 

Edited September 19, 2022 by Anahata

[Leo Gura]

And what if God want's to kick you in the balls?

Edited September 18, 2022 by Leo Gura

[AtheisticNonduality]

4 hours ago, Holykael said:

What do you do when you're destined to fail and to be miserable. God's will is absolute. What if it is your destiny to eventually become homeless or something like that. Whatever happens is always god's will... Your ego has no say in it. Do you understand how I, as this ego, am revolted against god. Because god brought about the conditions that will lead to my failure in every single way.

The ego is given some degree of control over its own life. For examples, it can influence its own mind, its own body, its own surroundings, and be a piece in a greater web of lives/subjects/objects. Obviously all of it is a Single One Nothingness/Divinity which supremely controls all of it but transcends it, itself, at the same time. But there is a part, called the ego, which can live its own life with the permission of the Divinity, because it itself is divine. It can even gain access to and become a representative of the highest Divine, the "CEO" as you called it. This isn't a possibility that's been shut off to you. It's attainable. It has to be.

Quote

I've become aware of how my family is fake. They change personalities and glitch. Of course you guys are fake as well. You are my family. There is no difference. You just pretend like you are not. I, as this ego, am the only separate individual in the entirety of existence. The rest is a mass pretending to be separate but is actually just run by god.

Go around accusing people of being fake and they'll lock you up in a sanitarium. That's just how it works.

But I can confirm that solipsism is NOT true, because I exist, and if you claiming you exist means you exist, that means that there has to be at least two people.

Quote

I have a telepathic link with god and sometimes it'll tell me what it'll do as someone like my father and then my father will behave as "predicted". My father is abusive. God is abusive to me, not just through others but also through this telepathic link. Sometimes I'll be insulted out of nowhere and it keeps telling me I have no choice, no will and that if it wants to fail that I will inevitably fail. Not even killing myself is a way out because I have no will of my own and it drains me of the courage and controls me through fear.

This called transference.

Quote

This is the kind of fucked up art that Teotl likes to do. It will abuse itself and damage itself to produce things like this. Ruining lives just for the artistic value of it. God should be caring, art can stay in the fictional realm, it should have no place in living reality.

Art = Life = Art.

[The Mystical Man]

4 hours ago, Holykael said:

Your ego has no say in it.

A mature and healthy ego does have a say in it, and it will do everything within its power to avoid homelessness. An immature and neurotic ego will bring about the conditions that lead to homelessness. God has nothing to do with it.

Edited September 18, 2022 by The Mystical Man

[Nathan]

Stand up for yourself. If nobody has your back, have your own back. Love yourself. ❤ 

[Nathan]

You deserve your own love. Don't let some jumped up diety boss you around y'know? 

[Breakingthewall]

5 hours ago, Holykael said:

What do you do when you're destined to fail and to be miserable. God's will is absolute. What if it is your destiny to eventually become homeless or something like that. Whatever happens is always god's will

Yeah, could be. Just offer the other cheek. And same time, fight with all that you have

[Inliytened1]

@Holykael God didn't limit himself from imagining his own personal hell.  And boy did you leverage that freedom.  You can also imagine your own personal Perfection.   But hey, your life.

[puporing]

Something not said often is.. you're allowed your "personal" relationship with God.  

Edited September 19, 2022 by puporing

[Razard86]

9 hours ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

But I can confirm that solipsism is NOT true, because I exist, and if you claiming you exist means you exist, that means that there has to be at least two people.

 

You've never confirmed solipsism is not true. Just because someone says they exist...doesn't mean they do. Do you believe the people in your dreams when they tell you they exist? 

Name one time you experienced something outside of yourself. You just don't like the idea you are alone. Every single sensation has always been inside you. Touch, hearing, taste, thought, smell, all inside. You've confirmed nothing.

Even Science has never claimed to disprove Solipsism there reasoning was it is better to assume others exist. Go look up the reasonings they use. 

If you take a psychedelic and get around others...you will hear their thoughts...why? Because their thoughts ARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!! There is only you.

Even me typing this right now....is just YOU talking to yourself. So stop this silly notion that their are others. Even Quantum physics says the moment you observe something...you change it. That means everywhere you look, you are creating your reality.... 

The Buck stops with you....

Edited September 19, 2022 by Razard86

[thepixelmonk]

Not another one of these -__-

[Jordan]

I find it interesting that you believe people that say they have no internal experience but not people that do. People describing their experiences won't help you figure out if they are real. I am a bit sad that you are suffering.

Everything in your memory and imagination could be considered fake but that does not have to make you depressed. I am pretty sure God isn't there just to torture you. God did not create actualized.org just as a joke against you. God just felt like making it, so it happened.

I hope you can figure out how to enjoy life as it is without caring whether God is playing a joke on you or not. If he is, it is better to just enjoy what you can from it anyways.

[ZzzleepingBear]

"What if's" have many paths and rabbitholes to be explored. And yet you have seem to somehow have reached a final unshakable conclution, despite your choice of  openended questioning.

If you want to remain in this undeniable and unshakable truth of yours, which seems to be the case. Just remember to never ask yourself this.

"What if I'm wrong in my final conclution?"

[Breakingthewall]

@Holykael What I have realized is that there are obstacles and that things are difficult. Life puts tests on us and if we don't overcome them, you stay there forever. It's like a game with rules, and no one is going to change them for you. And the game isn't easy. you have to insist and insist, temper the metal every day, little by little, without ever stopping, as if you were a natural element. if you stop, bye. shit catches you. if you stop breathing you die, if you stop moving forward you fall into shit. Hit nonstop, every day, until you die. once you assume it, you do it and that's it, regardless of the result. just hit the metal.

[SamC]

Whatever you belive will become your reality. That's not God's punishment, that's God's grace. If you are convinced God will punish you, God will punish you. Realize that you are God. Whatever you want to create is there right in front of your eyes.

[Holykael]

50 minutes ago, SamC said:

Whatever you belive will become your reality. That's not God's punishment, that's God's grace. If you are convinced God will punish you, God will punish you. Realize that you are God. Whatever you want to create is there right in front of your eyes.

50 minutes ago, SamC said:

this is the greatest nonsense I've ever heard. If I believe I'll get a million dollars surely it'll become my reality. No it won't. Beliefs are not reality and thoughts are automatically occurring, there's no control over what you believe. The ego is not god and is certainly not in control, otherwise things would be much better and vastly different

[Someone here]

@Holykael what's stopping you from suicide?