Personal Development, Numbing Or Evolving?

[Epiphany_Inspired]

So my dog died...and I am so oddly at peace with it...I just kept assuming I would cry eventually...even trying to force myself...but nothing...no real sadness

She was 15 years old. The day she began to suffer, she was put to sleep. She had such a long amazing life, it was the right choice, to end it then...plus, I am once again connected to the universal energy source, so it's not a loss on that level either.

So have I become Cold or Zen? To be honest, if I had to guess, I'd say it's a combination. The same way personal development can help keep anger from becoming full blown rage, it seems to have reigned in my sadness in the same way! Is this a good thing? I really don't know right now...will I feel this way when my next human friend dies too? 

[Life Coach]

Probably both, but heavy on the numbing. I am sure I would cry like a bitch for hours when my pet that I love dies. But then I would be at peace at it having the knoweldge I know about death being an illusion. I don't know if you are really zen or if this is just a defense mechanism of your ego to try and deny the loss. Or maybe you just weren't really attached to the animal to beginn with...oh yeah, suprise! A third option appears.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Life Coach Oh no, numbing myself from tears does not sound good!..i have cried extensively for every other pet ..I guess I am potentially doing something wrong with my personal work, or I've developed a harsh coping mechanism for some reason. I did stay up with her the night before, taking care of her, saying goodbye...I felt sort of twinges of sadness...but they were so easily replaced with positive memories of her long happy life, or acceptance that she was reuniting with the phenomenal field, or just that death was the right choice, she was old/ and I didn't want her to suffer. i'm not in denial at least, I fully accept the loss. What can I do to become more sad in this situation?