Dating in Pakistan

[sda]

Hi everyone,

I am a Pakistani who has been raised in Pakistan and spent my life in Pakistan. Recently, I began to watch many of Actualized.org videos on dating.

My question is that how can I develop my dating skills in Pakistan? 

Dating in Pakistan is not possible. 

It is very hard to see a women without a burqa/hijab or even to talk to a women in a society where stage blue Islam is dominant like Pakistan, let alone dating. It is because in these Islamic dominant countries, dating is prohibited and even considered a crime where the punishment for dating is at least serving jail time, if not death. Also, the Pakistan society is structured in such a way due to various factors such as stage blue religion and morality where it is not possible to date any girl without marriage. Addition to that, my parents would also not allow me to date a girl.

I know one solution is to go outside the country, but how do I go outside the country when I lack money?
 

I would really appreciate if anyone can give me any suggestions regarding this.

Thank you

 

Have a great day 

Edited September 18, 2022 by sda

[Roy]

23 minutes ago, sda said:

I know one solution is to go outside the country, but how do I go outside the country when I lack money?

You need to realize how important having the right priorities are, and shift your energy and focus to match that. Ultimately sex, dating, and relationships are not as important as finances and survival. You need to dive into that before other areas of your life can improve.

You will NOT be able to challenge or change your culture so that leaves with a few options.

1. Accept how your blue society is and try to happily live within it and conform (which I doubt you want to do).

2. Move to the most developed/progressive cities and areas WITHIN Pakistan that help you feel more comfortable with dating/sex.

3. Gather enough resources to leave Pakistan completely.

It will be a waste of time and resources to try and improve your dating life going against the grain of your culture. The risk you are taking with your reputation and the possibility of being arrested are not worth it. Those hours are better spent to working overtime to save money and getting an education to help you leave.

The solution might be having to work hard for YEARS to make enough money to leave, and THEN catching up on dating/sex a bit later in life. Kind of like Leo who neglected that area to work on his previous business before dating.

These are very hard choices to make but sometimes certain results take massive commitment and long-term planning.

I hope it all works out for you friend!

 

Edited September 18, 2022 by Roy

[sda]

8 hours ago, Roy said:

3. Gather enough resources to leave Pakistan completely.

It will be a waste of time and resources to try and improve your dating life going against the grain of your culture. The risk you are taking with your reputation and the possibility of being arrested are not worth it. Those hours are better spent to working overtime to save money and getting an education to help you leave.

The solution might be having to work hard for YEARS to make enough money to leave, and THEN catching up on dating/sex a bit later in life. Kind of like Leo who neglected that area to work on his previous business before dating.

These are very hard choices to make but sometimes certain results take massive commitment and long-term planning.

I hope it all works out for you friend!

 

I am currently enrolled in a university. Hope I will finish my university and try getting out of here.

[Jacob Morres]

On 9/18/2022 at 9:30 AM, sda said:

I am currently enrolled in a university. Hope I will finish my university and try getting out of here.

I know IT has many job opportunities in western countries. I know in USA many companies will sponsor your visa 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[Leo Gura]

Work, make money, travel.

In the meantime you can flirt with girls at Uni.

Be highly SOCIAL. That's what gets you laid. You don't have to be sexual even. Talk to every girl in class. Invite them to hang out later.

Edited September 29, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Dryas]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Be highly SOCIAL.

Watch out for your grades, though. Escaping into first world with masters will require a decent gpa so maybe that's the route you can take.

[sda]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Work, make money, travel.

In the meantime you can flirt with girls at Uni.

Be highly SOCIAL. That's what gets you laid. You don't have to be sexual even. Talk to every girl in class. Invite them to hang out later.

Leo, this is not possible in my area where I am living in because I live in a Pakistani village which is highly influenced by stage blue Islam.

It is not possible to flirt with any girl at a Uni in Pakistan. It is because at a stage blue society such as Pakistan, their are laws put in place in the society where girls and boys cannot talk to each other. In Pakistan, it is a crime to date and flirt. My university will suspend me and put a case against me if they caught me flirting. I don't think its worth the risk to flirt secretly because even if I do that, my family members will catch me and take me to jail for it because its prohibited according to their level of Islam. As, I said earlier, it is not even possible to see a girl in a Pakistani university, without any covering such as a burqa or hijab, let alone flirt with them. Like at least in my area situation is like this. Addition to that, even if I managed to go against the grain of my culture and somehow managed to approach a girl very secretly, in Pakistan then the girl will refuse to date with me because she will be with her religion which is Islam. According to her level of Islam, dating is prohibited without marriage so it is not possible for me to date her without marriage and I cannot afford marriage without mastering my finances. 

So my only hope with this is to go abroad after finishing my university which is what I am currently working on.

Edited September 29, 2022 by sda

[Yarco]

You have to play by the rules in your society. All the stuff you see about dating from Western countries is not applicable to your situation. And nobody here is going to be able to relate to your situation unless they also live in an Islamic country.

If you want to have unmarried sex with multiple women, your only option is to leave the country like people have said. It's not worth getting thrown in jail or stoned to death.

If the draw of sex isn't strong enough to leave, then you have to play within the system. Your goal will have to be marry a girl, so you'll have to go on chaperoned dates with her brother or dad sitting there listening in on your entire conversation.

Dating for the sake of dating, without sex, has little benefit and comes with a lot of inconvenience. In some ways you have it easier, if your end goal is marriage. You don't have to mess around asking out tons of girls and getting rejected. You can jump straight to marriage in a couple of months if you want. It has its benefits... then you can spend the rest of your time focusing on improving yourself, making money, spirituality, etc.

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, sda said:

It is not possible to flirt with any girl at a Uni in Pakistan. It is because at a stage blue society such as Pakistan, their are laws put in place in the society where girls and boys cannot talk to each other. In Pakistan, it is a crime to date and flirt. My university will suspend me and put a case against me if they caught me flirting.

Well, in that case your situation is very simple. Focus on making money and moving out. You don't really have another option but that or to get married in the traditional manner.

P.S. I'm sure there are big cities in Pakistan which have some kind of nightlife/socializing  going on. Obviously you will not have that in some small village or town. Game requires living in a large thriving city.

Edited September 29, 2022 by Leo Gura

[mr_engineer]

The touch-dynamics in a Stage Blue culture are going to be shit in general, because there is no sense of personal boundaries, personal identities or personal individualism. Maybe you can 'score', so to speak, but compatibility is going to be very hard. Compromise is the Stage Blue mantra. 

[Hibahere]

Hey I'm from Pakistan too and Leo is right. I don't know which city you are from but I'm from lahore and I've been to Islamabad too. Both cities very liberal, Pakistan is wayyyy less stage blue as compared to UAE etc. It's moving into orange in fact. Anyways, take it from my personal experience...I've dated...I mean been in serious relationships but trust me it's not worth it when you don't have your Financial or academic roots strengthened. Mostly been in toxic relationships which made me heal myself a lot because I learn from pain instead of bitching about it...you wouldn't want to go there. I'm also a university student and my primary focus at this stage in life is academia and psychological mastery and later I'll move on to more nuanced topics. Anyways, I'm just advising...learn for yourself and observe yourself. Cheers!