When does the anger end? It feels like an endless stream.

[playdoh]

I feel like one of those Samoans, just a constant fountain of anger in me. I try to feel it. All I do is feel it. But it doesn’t end. 

Sometimes it gets to the point where it’s to much and I feel I might get into a fight. I’m getting back to the horizontal and working a lot, more stress in my life. I’m living in community and get triggered so easily by certain people  

When does it end? I run every morning, I’m sometimes screaming at the top of my lungs to release it. 

Does it ever end? Will I eventually be free of anger or for the most part? Thanks. 

P.S. I’ve been working on my anger a lot, for over a year and I feel I’m at the final stage, like life is giving me a test to see if I can handle it, just fyi. 

[Leo Gura]

What are you angry about?

[Devin]

You may be repressing another emotion, which often results in anger or rage

Edited September 15, 2022 by Devin

[playdoh]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

What are you angry about?

Good question, thanks for asking.  So many things. I had a bad concussion a while back and that’s when the anger turned to fury/rage. I mean ever since I was small I had pretty bad anger outbursts but it got really bad after the concussion. My mom said I had a concussion as a toddler (a different one than mentioned above), concussions are known to cause anger just fyi, also on both sides of my family a lot of anger especially in the men (the hypo macho aggressive masculine type) so genetics could play a role. I was teased a lot as a kid but was shy so never stood up for myself. But at home with my mom and brother and a couple of close friends it would show a lot. Once I was a teenager fights with my mom started to get really bad. 

Now I’ve opened my heart again and it seems I’m getting easily offended by things like I did before my “bad concussion”, which is bringing up a lot of anger. Also I’ve recently discovered although she’s been a great mom to me and getting better she is a legit narcissist, so I know a lot of anger surrounding that. But to pinpoint exactly where the anger comes from I’m not sure. 

Edited September 15, 2022 by playdoh
Just changed some words around.

[playdoh]

22 minutes ago, Devin said:

You may be repressing another emotion, which often results in anger or rage

Like what emotion?

[Devin]

15 minutes ago, playdoh said:

Like what emotion?

Insecurity, worry, doubt, powerlessness, frustration, jealousy, 

You can look over a list of emotions and check in with yourself if you're feeling any, be honest with yourself, if you're repressing you will try to overlook it

Edited September 15, 2022 by Devin

[playdoh]

23 minutes ago, Devin said:

Insecurity, worry, doubt, powerlessness, frustration, jealousy, 

You can look over a list of emotions and check in with yourself if you're feeling any, be honest with yourself, if you're repressing you will try to overlook it

I definitely feel those especially doubt but don’t think I repress it. I think I try to feel it as much as possible (speaking of doubt specifically since it seems like a tricky one)? I feel like doubt comes with awakening? Your starting to doubt what once the ego backed up with confidence, etc. 

[Devin]

51 minutes ago, playdoh said:

I definitely feel those especially doubt but don’t think I repress it. I think I try to feel it as much as possible (speaking of doubt specifically since it seems like a tricky one)? I feel like doubt comes with awakening? Your starting to doubt what once the ego backed up with confidence, etc. 

Do those emotions pass when you are observing them or are they also always there like anger? I don't think that doubt would be emotional, doubting awakening would be though

Edited September 15, 2022 by Devin

[SOUL]

The rage that rises from out of nowhere spontaneously is only a suggestion from the past to believe and behave that one is angry about something....anything....everything.

It wants us to believe it and if we do we are feeding the kindling of present being into the fire of past rage. I aint got time fo dat...

Ghost the past

 

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, playdoh said:

I definitely feel those especially doubt but don’t think I repress it. I think I try to feel it as much as possible (speaking of doubt specifically since it seems like a tricky one)? I feel like doubt comes with awakening? Your starting to doubt what once the ego backed up with confidence, etc. 

Anger is an expression of lack of control, and also a judgment against your self. You probably do not like yourself very much, you probably do not like your environment, and probably do not like your life.

Here are things you probably have issues with. Your looks, your family relationships, your relationships with non-family members, your relationship with the culture you are raised in and what it values and how you judge yourself in relation to those values. So basically you do not feel accepted by your family, your culture, and ultimately yourself. You feel trapped inside a box and want to get out but have no idea how. You know you have worth, but you don't see it being reflected back to you by others and as a result it pisses you off.

You feel like others do not truly see you, and you feel alone.

Does any of what I said resonate with you? Or am I full of B.S.? Let me know....

[Tron]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

Anger is an expression of lack of control, and also a judgment against your self. You probably do not like yourself very much, you probably do not like your environment, and probably do not like your life.

Here are things you probably have issues with. Your looks, your family relationships, your relationships with non-family members, your relationship with the culture you are raised in and what it values and how you judge yourself in relation to those values. So basically you do not feel accepted by your family, your culture, and ultimately yourself. You feel trapped inside a box and want to get out but have no idea how. You know you have worth, but you don't see it being reflected back to you by others and as a result it pisses you off.

You feel like others do not truly see you, and you feel alone.

Does any of what I said resonate with you? Or am I full of B.S.? Let me know....

ive felt this way for the past month tbh. exactly this way

[Breakingthewall]

anger is usually a manifestation of fear when fear ceases to be paralyzing. Perhaps you have been afraid of being rejected and that is why you have adapted yourself seeking approval, denying yourself. now the fear is less and you see the need to be yourself and anger helps you to do so, since in some way you are fighting against others, who repressed you (although it was really you who did it)

[RickyFitts]

Is there a part of you that feels like you shouldn't be feeling angry? I find that that inner resistance to what we're feeling is what tends to keep us stuck there - and unfortunately, this sort of mentality is extremely common in humans, we're basically trained to repress our emotions from a young age. So we just end up bottling up our feelings, and this can create all sorts of agitation, irritation, unhappiness, even illness and physical issues. 

Be conscious of that inner resistance, notice how it manifests in your body as tightness and tension, and allow those areas of your body to relax and breathe. Other emotions like fear and sorrow, maybe even an intensification of the anger, may start to arise as you do this - keep coming back to the body, just keep allowing it to relax and breathe.

[puporing]

4 hours ago, playdoh said:

Like what emotion?

Sadness.

[Razard86]

53 minutes ago, Tron said:

ive felt this way for the past month tbh. exactly this way

I've been there...and even though I'm not there anymore...I can still dip my toe in that perspective because memories don't leave. Its normal, its actually apart of the Hero's Journey. The Hero needs a reason to go on a journey of self-discovery or individuation as Carl Jung calls it. Make self-honesty your guide, daily application of your best efforts your mantra, and self-validation (give yourself praise and love for your efforts, and don't base it on results but the effort itself) and you will cultivate the love for yourself that is being denied to you.

Understand we live in a world that does not know what it is, they are all lost and confused and as such cannot give you love when they deny it to themselves. We can only give to others what we have ourselves, so focus on yourself and looking to yourself for now as the sole provider for all the emotional and psychological needs you desire. 

Also this forum is a good resource to ask for people's opinions and perceptions. Drop me a PM or anyone here you think can offer you some insights. You are worthy of love, ignore anyone that tells you otherwise. Be the rose that grows from concrete. 

[Vrubel]

8 hours ago, playdoh said:

Good question, thanks for asking.  So many things. I had a bad concussion a while back and that’s when the anger turned to fury/rage. I mean ever since I was small I had pretty bad anger outbursts but it got really bad after the concussion. My mom said I had a concussion as a toddler (a different one than mentioned above), concussions are known to cause anger just fyi, also on both sides of my family a lot of anger especially in the men (the hypo macho aggressive masculine type) so genetics could play a role. I was teased a lot as a kid but was shy so never stood up for myself. But at home with my mom and brother and a couple of close friends it would show a lot. Once I was a teenager fights with my mom started to get really bad. 

Now I’ve opened my heart again and it seems I’m getting offended by everything again like I did before my “bad concussion”, which is bringing up a lot of anger. Also I’ve recently discovered although she’s been a great mom to me and getting better she is a legit narcissist, so I know a lot of anger surrounding that. But to pinpoint exactly where the anger comes from I’m not sure. 

hmm... not sure what to say. I used to be kinda toxic, easily butthurt and annoyed. Though this anger vanished completely when I started to live on my own (no more people encroaching on my space). That's also when I started doing psychedelics. Have you tried psychedelics?

I believe that's the main thing that will get to the core of the issue. 
Other than that, find ways to release the anger in healthy ways, like:

Gym/exercise
fighting sport 
Masturbation/sex
Have cathartic moments when you scream loudly in your head (you don't have to actually make noise)

Also, get in touch with your feminine side. For example, you can tend a garden or get a pet, something you will love and care for. 
 

[Vajra]

@playdoh hey man. "Life is shit, and I won't stand it anymore!!! "

 

Somewhere down there is an identification. The sense that 'you can't get rid of the anger' is it. The frustration with that DAMN FUCKING ANGER!!!! is it.

Loosen up. Get curious. How is it even possible that you believe, and maybe even more importantly feel, that you can't fully be with the emotion without being, as if attached to it? Interesting. Get to the bottom of this riddle.

[Vajra]

Really, fighting anger is no good. It is energy coming up, and then it is labeled as anger, conceptualized as "bad" and then the old 'I' creates a tension in the system around it. And so the energy gets to loop endlessly.

 

It doesn't have to be this way. Emotions can be liberated. Clear feeling and recognizing our tricks of identification in the emotional system. Good luck, patience, all is well

[UnbornTao]

It might be useful to realize that anger is based on hurt.

Be more honest by allowing yourself to experience your hurt. Anger is a manipulation to do something with the hurt.

I suggest you look into that.

[AtheisticNonduality]

12 hours ago, Devin said:

You may be repressing another emotion, which often results in anger or rage

Actually it's often anger that gets repressed and turned into another emotion.