When does the anger end? It feels like an endless stream.

[Devin]

16 minutes ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

Actually it's often anger that gets repressed and turned into another emotion.

 

 

Depends on what you were taught to repress. Loud confrontational families teach you to repress insecurity, loneliness, sadness, fear, ....

More feminine families teach to repress anger, but express sadness, insecurity, .....

[gettoefl]

anger is, i want you to change since i don't want to

they are going to be bad whether you're there or not

it's not on you it's on them

fix yourself so you become untouchable

[playdoh]

Wow wow wow some great replies here. Thanks so much @Leo Gura for creating and maintaining this space. 

@Devin it’s hard to say since like you mentioned doubt isn’t really emotional. But they pass though, not exactly sure if it’s bc I’m observing them or they just pass on there on.

Thanks @SOUL So are you saying to basically just ignore it? Makes sense I’m just thinking if there really is a reason to be feeling the anger if ignoring it would be basically the same as repressing/ignoring it. 

[playdoh]

Every time I try to post it starts quoting another reply that I don’t want to reply to then I can’t delete it. Anyone know how to correct this? @Leo Gura I’ve heard you ask so just saying I think this limits a lot of possible posts/communication. Also having to wait 90 seconds between posts!

 

@Razard86

 

@Razard86:

”

Anger is an expression of lack of control, and also a judgment against your self. You probably do not like yourself very much, you probably do not like your environment, and probably do not like your life.

Here are things you probably have issues with. Your looks, your family relationships, your relationships with non-family members, your relationship with the culture you are raised in and what it values and how you judge yourself in relation to those values. So basically you do not feel accepted by your family, your culture, and ultimately yourself. You feel trapped inside a box and want to get out but have no idea how. You know you have worth, but you don't see it being reflected back to you by others and as a result it pisses you off.”

You feel like others do not truly see you, and you feel alone.

Does any of what I said resonate with you? Or am I full of B.S.? Let me know....

 

——

@Razard86 definitely resonates! ^

Edited September 15, 2022 by playdoh

[playdoh]

13 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

anger is usually a manifestation of fear when fear ceases to be paralyzing. Perhaps you have been afraid of being rejected and that is why you have adapted yourself seeking approval, denying yourself. now the fear is less and you see the need to be yourself and anger helps you to do so, since in some way you are fighting against others, who repressed you (although it was really you who did it)

Also resonates!!

[Devin]

56 minutes ago, playdoh said:

 

@Devin it’s hard to say since like you mentioned doubt isn’t really emotional. But they pass though, not exactly sure if it’s bc I’m observing them or they just pass on there on.

doubt Is an emotion. I would try meditation and try to process unresolved conflict in your thoughts from the past, the narcissistic mother stuff; cry it out, scream(in an appropriate area), grieve(maybe your childhood), give yourself love, sleep and rest, eat well. Check out Noah elkrief videos on youtube. Then you can do internal family systems, but you should start seeing relief pretty quickly.

Edited September 15, 2022 by Devin

[SOUL]

@playdoh  I don't mean ignore it, ignoring is like repressing so would be an acknowledgement of it and behaving in response to it. What I mean in have no reaction to it at all although if one were to have some action to take I would suggest using visualization and affirmations in times when not under duress of the spontaneous instances of the rage arising.

If we can visualize ourselves as calm and at peace in the face of the rage that may appear then we have modeled behavior in the mind's imagination. The mind will use this visualized 'memory' of peace in the face of rage as a template for behavior. If we wait until the moment of facing rage it can be less effective than preparing for it with visualization.

Affirmations may be a way to direct attention to something productive instead of contend with the rage in the moment. It doesn't really matter what the affirmation is but speaking to what you seek in behavior and not against the rage would create less tension and conflict within the mind. We hope to free ourselves of rage not fight it, the fight is what it wants.

I don't even engage with trying to find out why or what it really is or if it's another emotion or any psychoanalysis because I prefer to use all my energy and intent on creating the behavior I want not trying to change what I don't want. Of course, some people may prefer to explore the why and some may need to explore it so do what you see fit.

I speak from experience, this isn't just unused theories.

[playdoh]

1 hour ago, Devin said:

doubt Is an emotion. I would try meditation and try to process unresolved conflict in your thoughts from the past, the narcissistic mother stuff; cry it out, scream(in an appropriate area), grieve(maybe your childhood), give yourself love, sleep and rest, eat well. Check out Noah elkrief videos on youtube. Then you can do internal family systems, but you should start seeing relief pretty quickly.

Thank you! What kind of meditation?

[Breakingthewall]

Anger is often a very useful feeling. that's why it exists. tells you: enough! no matter the price, death if necessary, but this is the limit.

think that without this attitude, humans, who are sons of bitches, will put a collar around your neck, make you suck their dick, be their slave and pee on your face

[Devin]

38 minutes ago, playdoh said:

Thank you! What kind of meditation?

Whatever feels good to you; sitting there feeling your emotions, or watching your thoughts, or trying to remove thoughts, chanting, trying to not think, watching your breathing,....

Do some breathing yoga. Stretching yoga, flow yoga. Do what feels good

When you feel good then you can better find the thought(s) that's bothering you; I'm not good enough,.... Then dissect that

Edited September 15, 2022 by Devin

[playdoh]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

Anger is often a very useful feeling. that's why it exists. tells you: enough!

@Breakingthewall

 

right on. do you mean experiencing the emotion of anger is enough, like you should change something because you shouldn’t be experiencing the emotion of anger, or do you mean anger is a representation of something else not going accordingly in your life and enough is enough of that..? Thanks. 

[Dear Fiona]

@playdoh I found anger to be the hardest thing to navigate. It starts to end when you translate it into ACTION/BOUNDARIES. 
Note......"boundaries" are NOT walls against the "apparent other" 
Understanding boundaries that way is a proper shit show doomed to failure. 
Boundaries are what you want and what you need. 
When you get angry, drill down, find out what you want and need and find constructive ways to fulfill those things, instead of blaming others. 
And another tip, is this. Even if you don't actually get what you want and need, you still get the prize of confidence in yourself, and loving yourself. 

It is seriously NEVER "them" no matter what your mind tells you.