Your self-improvement activities should become your rest/relaxation activities

[BipolarGrowth]

I used to look at reading as something I was actively doing to improve myself. While that has not entirely changed in that the activity is still improving me, my life is now so filled with harder and more involved activities years later that what used to be the “work” of my self-actualization journey has now become what I naturally want to do to “take it easy” or relax. 
 

I hope that this concept of progressing to make your hard work become your rest activity helps one of you out there. 

[EternalForest]

Eh, maybe but then you're almost programming yourself to see work as play.

Pure play time is important.

If you worked hard all week, you deserve to marathon TV shows on Netflix and eat pizza all weekend.

[Emrie]

1 hour ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I used to look at reading as something I was actively doing to improve myself. While that has not entirely changed in that the activity is still improving me, my life is now so filled with harder and more involved activities years later that what used to be the “work” of my self-actualization journey has now become what I naturally want to do to “take it easy” or relax. 
 

I hope that this concept of progressing to make your hard work become your rest activity helps one of you out there. 

I had a somewhat similar realization when I first started self-help. Some things just became easy, natural, and what I wanted to do instead of hard work.

Like now I go to the gym four times a week and don't even think twice about it, I even want to go because it makes me feel good. Even looking at different sports I want to do. Whereas there was a time that even exercising for 10 minutes twice a week was a hard thing to do.

[Nilsi]

3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I used to look at reading as something I was actively doing to improve myself. While that has not entirely changed in that the activity is still improving me, my life is now so filled with harder and more involved activities years later that what used to be the “work” of my self-actualization journey has now become what I naturally want to do to “take it easy” or relax. 
 

I hope that this concept of progressing to make your hard work become your rest activity helps one of you out there. 

I respect your hustle, but I don't think this is a healthy attitude. If you go down that road long enough you will become David Goggins and if you take it even further, you will become like that monk that set himself on fire, just to prove that suffering is an illusion. Why do you feel the need to torture yourself so much? I ask that genuinely.

[BipolarGrowth]

16 minutes ago, Nilsi said:

I respect your hustle, but I don't think this is a healthy attitude. If you go down that road long enough you will become David Goggins and if you take it even further, you will become like that monk that set himself on fire, just to prove that suffering is an illusion. Why do you feel the need to torture yourself so much? I ask that genuinely.

I mainly choose to because I always have the option to enter satisfaction of a relatively high degree more or less on demand but also because I would rather choose my torture on the path toward a better life than be tortured by the realization of lost potential in the future. I’ve lived a half-assed life for the majority of it, and this is rather sickening to me in retrospect. I’d like to live as close to my potential as is feasible. 
 

If I end up like David Goggins, I’ll be quite happy with that. 

Edited September 12, 2022 by BipolarGrowth

[BipolarGrowth]

@EternalForest You’re totally right in that pure play time is essential. Right now I’ve blocked in time to play Dark Souls for example, but I typically reserve it for after I’ve completed a certain number of hours of my personal training course. Occasionally I’ll just break the rule of doing work first if I’m feeling that enjoying the moment or relaxing more is useful. I think it all comes down to how you dose the pure play time and making sure it doesn’t throw you too far off track of your goals. 

 

@Emrie I feel the same way with the gym these days. I feel worse on my off days. I would hate to not be able to go at this point. It’s always a highlight of my day regardless of how brutal or easy the workout is. 
 

 

[Nilsi]

13 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

 I’ve lived a half-assed life for the majority of it, and this is rather sickening to me in retrospect. I’d like to live as close to my potential as is feasible. 
 

If I end up like David Goggins, I’ll be quite happy with that. 

I don't think becoming like David Goggins is living up to your potential, but I also don't know you and your story, so take it for what it's worth.

[Realms of Wonder]

Should? @BipolarGrowth

[BipolarGrowth]

@Realms of Wonder I thought about that wording after posting it. Do whatever you want ?

[Realms of Wonder]

18 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

@Realms of Wonder I thought about that wording after posting it. Do whatever you want ?

Will do  It’s funny, I got trigger by it and didn’t notice.

 

I’ve noticed something very similar in my own life, meditation, reading, going for walks, in the beginning these were.. work (for lack of better words) now these are some of the best moments! Relaxing and calming too.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Realms of Wonder said:

Will do  It’s funny, I got trigger by it and didn’t notice.

 

I’ve noticed something very similar in my own life, meditation, reading, going for walks, in the beginning these were.. work (for lack of better words) now these are some of the best moments! Relaxing and calming too.

What do you do for relaxing? 

[Max_V]

I think the demonization of pure relaxation and play is a problem within self-development circles. Sure it comes from a deep place of not wanting to waste your potential, but I think these good intentions push to an extreme that counter-intuitively becomes unproductive and unhealthy.

Pure relaxation should be the yin to the yang of hard work. They feed off each other.

I do agree of course, that learning to enjoy something as relaxation like reading in place of other less conscious activities is mostly a good thing. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by Max_V

[BipolarGrowth]

9 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Will do  It’s funny, I got trigger by it and didn’t notice.

 

I’ve noticed something very similar in my own life, meditation, reading, going for walks, in the beginning these were.. work (for lack of better words) now these are some of the best moments! Relaxing and calming too.

Yeah that’s pretty much the whole point of the thread. You’re already doing it ?

The idea is that you will change yourself to enjoy beneficial activities naturally during the self-actualization process. Activities that are quite unconscious and even detrimental become less and less appealing naturally. Reading and doing insight meditation simultaneously is one of the most relaxing things for me now, and it’s a lot of fun. It’s a higher tier of fun than just playing video games for example. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by BipolarGrowth

[Realms of Wonder]

30 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Yeah that’s pretty much the whole point of the thread. You’re already doing it ?

The idea is that you will change yourself to enjoy beneficial activities naturally during the self-actualization process. Activities that are quite unconscious and even detrimental become less and less appealing naturally. Reading and doing insight meditation simultaneously is one of the most relaxing things for me now, and it’s a lot of fun. It’s a higher tier of fun than just playing video games for example. 

It seems to be a natural process on this path, big picture, yes I have been changing myself intentionally, however what we are pointing to has happened as a byproduct of that process, I can't think of a moment when I chose for these activities to become fun and relaxing, it just.. Happened  

[Realms of Wonder]

10 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

What do you do for relaxing? 

Most relaxing/exciting and fun is to Play/Create music, followed by meditation, reading, taking walks, going camping, hiking, facetiming my parents, friends or girlfriend, and watching select movies.

[King Merk]

Very stage organe perspective. I used to think like this too. An obsession with growth & pragmatism.

Now I actually enjoy the more sensual things in life like cuddling with my girlfriend, dancing, creating art, watching movies, etc.

Which btw, counterintuitively lead to even more personal growth than just grinding all the time  

[Ulax]

Interesting perspective dude.

I think there's some great aspects to what you are saying. By following your idea, you could theoretically be constantly growing as a person.

However, I'd be cognisant about whether you would be able to live an integrated life that way, in the long term. I don't think you could.

I think its important to allow some time to relax. Not to say you shouldn't have standards for how you relax. I.e. I don't think a brazzer's premium subscription would be the healthiest thing ;).

However, having time where you place no expectations on yourself, and you can do whatever you like is a lovely part of life, imo. For one person that could be socialising with close friends, who you are just enjoying spending time with and goofing around. Or another watching some old movies they like.

But anyhow man I rate the determination to grow!

[RMQualtrough]

My current hobbies include tidying, cleaning, repairing, perfecting, and piano. Strenuous activities but soothing. I like my home and car to look BETTER than new.

[D2sage]

My best activity is to wake up at 05:30 and jump into the sea.  It's cold but after a while, you get used to it.

It wakes me up and ready for the day. No need to drink coffee like a monkey to handle the day,

Sometimes I do mushrooms in the morning. It feels so good and atmopsheric being stoned in the morning and just jump in the sea.

This is a must-try.

You will get enlightened!

Edited September 18, 2022 by D2sage