How to make more female friends?

[Sugarcoat]

so to ask in a male dominated forum how to make female friends might not be the best idea. I’m not relying on this ofc I’m doing some things to put myself out there, as for example I’ve applied for another extra job (to earn money ofc ) and that’s a new opportunity to meet new people too. 
Also I always go to social things I’m invited to (doesn’t happen often tho I don’t have that many friends) and always try to talk with more people when I attend such events. I’m quite introverted naturally and although I have decent social skills I can be a bit drawn back so I have to deliberately push myself sometimes , it’s much easier one-on-one and a bit harder in larger groups. 
 

also I’ve been on Reddit forums and discords with the intention of meeting new people but most there are males older than me… and I have made a nice male friend my age there and I’m glad but that’s kinda rare that it stays like that

I’ve also been on tinder for a lil bit for both dating and female friends but the latter hasn’t really happened much to lllol (haven’t done it for so long tho haven’t been so active so I can’t disregard it already)

So I have a couple of female friends but we don’t hang out as much as I would desire so I desire more. I’m open to make male friends too ofc not excluding that, but there’s the risk of him starting to flirt with me or something like that. Nothing wrong with that but it kills the friendly vibe
 

It would be nice to have a solid social circle of females but it’s kinda harder with women I feel. They give more of a “I already have enough friends” vibe (maybe just my own projection) meanwhile it’s easier with guys sometimes who are more open I feel…….

so how does one go about this except to apply for uni which I will in a year or more? Maybe I’m just impatient lol but I have high visions I guess lol I’m never satisfied 

[Jannes]

Are there things you are passionate about in terms of hobbies ?  Making friendships while doing some activity is a lot easier especially if you are more introverted because there is always something going on that you can talk about. And you can find people who are more similar to you. I couldn’t really see myself finding friends in a job for example. 
You could also try out microdosing. It can bring you into a more confident and extroverted mindset. 

[Spiral]

Perhaps a bit unrelated however

”Also I always go to social things I’m invited to (doesn’t happen often tho I don’t have that many friends) and always try to talk with more people when I attend such events.”

Makes it seem like you’re not making or suggesting such things yourself and mostly just going with the flow. This is dangerous as it often makes people feel unappreciated. I suggest you do so, with other people being proactive is the best approach.

[Sugarcoat]

33 minutes ago, Jannes said:

Are there things you are passionate about in terms of hobbies ?  Making friendships while doing some activity is a lot easier especially if you are more introverted because there is always something going on that you can talk about. And you can find people who are more similar to you. I couldn’t really see myself finding friends in a job for example. 
You could also try out microdosing. It can bring you into a more confident and extroverted mindset. 

I’m very passionate about health-related stuff in general. Other than that I don’t have many hobbies but I like to take long walks and listen to a loooot of music 

that’s a good idea tho I’ve def been thinking about joining more activities, but ofc if I find interest in them, would feel weird to force myself to do something I don’t like in order to meet people…would feel kind of forced and awkward in some way

Yea I’ll see how the job goes…

everyone in this forum talks so casually about psychedelics as if everyone can just casually obtain it without any problem lol ???? trust me I’ll like to try that but it’s a bit of a struggle to find

[Sugarcoat]

25 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Perhaps a bit unrelated however

”Also I always go to social things I’m invited to (doesn’t happen often tho I don’t have that many friends) and always try to talk with more people when I attend such events.”

Makes it seem like you’re not making or suggesting such things yourself and mostly just going with the flow. This is dangerous as it often makes people feel unappreciated. I suggest you do so, with other people being proactive is the best approach.

Very good point that’s actually something I’ve thinking about recently!

I’ve became aware of this tendency. I’ve suggested meetups in groups of friends but when it comes to one-on-one I’ve been much more passive because of thinking that they will reach out to me if they wanted to meet me. I’ve assumed this becuase my girls friends are in general more social and go out more than me meanwhile I’m the more lonely one in comparison so I’ve felt that they would reach out if they wanted to, which has happened a bit. But I’ve decided to be more proactive myself as I must understand that from their pov it might seem I don’t wanna be disturbed. 
 

one of my friends said this a week ago actually “you say you’re home alone a lot and wanna go out more but you rarely ask me, I’m the one asking you” . This really helped to hear so I’m def becoming aware of that

its an aspect of my negative self image to by default assume people aren’t interested in interacting with me, especially women for some reason. But I’m working on it

[petar8p]

Just start interacting and getting comfortable more and more with women, get good at making friends in general, they'll be around..

[Jannes]

3 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m very passionate about health-related stuff in general. Other than that I don’t have many hobbies but I like to take long walks and listen to a loooot of music 

that’s a good idea tho I’ve def been thinking about joining more activities, but ofc if I find interest in them, would feel weird to force myself to do something I don’t like in order to meet people…would feel kind of forced and awkward in some way

What about healthy cooking courses? 
Maybe there are things that you kinda like or would like to try out?

3 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yea I’ll see how the job goes…

everyone in this forum talks so casually about psychedelics as if everyone can just casually obtain it without any problem lol ???? trust me I’ll like to try that but it’s a bit of a struggle to find

Haha I get you ?? I hated the process of first getting psychedelics as well and now I hate the process of getting the "more advanced psychedelics“. Where do you live? Magic truffles and certain lsd Derivats are legally available in many countries.

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Jannes said:

What about healthy cooking courses? 
Maybe there are things that you kinda like or would like to try out?

Haha I get you ?? I hated the process of first getting psychedelics as well and now I hate the process of getting the "more advanced psychedelics“. Where do you live? Magic truffles and certain lsd Derivats are legally available in many countries.

Funny is that I love cooking but because of digestion issues I’ve reduced my food choices a lot so there’s not much of a point in learning to cook when I won’t eat many things…. But lol I need to try more things like hobbies in general

i live in Sweden ???? it’s far from legal. ??

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, Jannes said:

Haha I get you ?? I hated the process of first getting psychedelics as well and now I hate the process of getting the "more advanced psychedelics“. Where do you live? Magic truffles and certain lsd Derivats are legally available in many countries.

Hold on a second I didn’t read properly…..maybe these things are legal 

thanks for the tip

[Jannes]

@Sugarcoat ?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERap8i3qpCw

 

[Spiral]

Ever tried go-friendly the app?

Edited September 10, 2022 by Spiral

[Sugarcoat]

On 2022-09-10 at 6:14 PM, Jannes said:

@Sugarcoat ?

Lol I’ll check that out for sure 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2022-09-10 at 11:56 AM, petar8p said:

Just start interacting and getting comfortable more and more with women, get good at making friends in general, they'll be around..

Simple yet true 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2022-09-10 at 8:25 PM, Lila9 said:

When I was in art school I've met 3 girlfriends, introverts, cool quirky and it was fun, magical and new because most of my life I was "adopted" by extrovert girls (and boys) in high school and later in work which is fantastic but I craved for people in my life that I can relate to, especially women. I don't say that it was easy, it still was challenging for a nervous and shy ass like me but I remember it as a positive experience of meeting people I can relate to while pursuing my biggest hobbie.  

My problem is that I'm bad at being in touch, especially with other introverts, especially if we are distant and I have a period of bad mental health so the friendship naturally ended when art school ended, except of random likes and dm's on social media from time to time.

I agree that it's not easy to find good female friends, I'm not sure why, apart from the fact that we live in a fast and alienate modern world, I guess we are just too afraid from each other for some reason? And too hard on ourselves and other women while trying to get the social pass card in the "men's world" that we are good and worthy enough?

I sense by your words that you really crave geniune connection with other women and I understand this feeling well. I know for sure that there are bunch of us with the same desire. I think you can find friendly and intresting women in workshops designed for women. Maybe yoga classes for women only or some meditation, dancing meditation circles and other intresting workshops of art, poetry, spirituality, witch crafts, sports, nature, fashion, depending on your interests and hobbies.

Good luck ❤️

 

I’m glad you managed to find nice connections with women!

I relate so much to being bad at keeping touch. Many of us feel like we bother people by taking initiative or we kind of assume by default they’d hit us up if they wanted to see us..but there has to be a balance. Sometimes one gotta push and take initiative even if it’s uncomfortable, I got really glad that a girl recently from my high school kept contact with me and asked to hangout. I’m sure there’s someone who would feel the same if I did that

thanks for the tips, yes hobbies seem like a natural way to meet people. 
 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2022-09-10 at 8:35 PM, Spiral said:

Ever tried go-friendly the app?

No barely heard of it. I’ll check it out