Invited to Halloween costume party as hardstuck incel next month

[Emotionalmosquito]

It’s invite only and about 70-100 people  will attend, rough estimate. I can’t afford to make any mistakes here because I’ve been screwed so hard the last several times I’ve tried to socialize at this level it’s left a very bitter taste in my mouth. The safest way I can think to go about it is closely observe about ten random guys for about five or ten minutes then emulate the average of them. Folks seem to have a serious aversion to originality and uniqueness where I live so I clearly can’t say anything outside the Overton window, which in my area is extremely narrow and retarded. How do I maximize my odds of pulling a girl without getting beheaded for perving? Half of what Leo says is a good idea in part 2 of the how to get laid series WILL get me kicked out very quickly. I need to not fuck this up but I can’t see any routes to victory. If I’m too boring, I’ll be allowed to stay but no one will be interested. If I’m too energetic people will get scared and I’ll have to leave. It doesn’t help that I have no way of knowing if I’m fucking up until it’s too late. “People” (if I can even call them that) will pretend to befriend only to later spread word around behind my back until I’m hated. For this reason paranoia is most of my experience in this situation. I’ll be taking lorazepam beforehand but that alone won’t do the trick. If there is some simple fix for this problem for the love of God tell me.

The only thing on my side with this event is two of my good friends will be there. I usually do stuff alone.

 

[Emotionalmosquito]

I like me just fine. It’s people stuck in tribalistic thinking that’s the problem. I get into trouble over such trivial matters it blows my mind. Even if I behave only slightly outside the norm

[something_else]

Chill. the. motherfucking. hell. out.  I know it's easier said than done.

No one is judging you as harshly as you think they are. Everyone is far more concerned with their own lives than they are with yours.

You know two people there. When you arrive go and talk to them. Let talking to them put you in a good frame of mind. As a group you'll end up talking to new people just by the nature of being at a party. If either of your friends are particularly sociable they'll probably do the heavy lifting for you

Quote

I like me just fine. It’s people stuck in tribalistic thinking that’s the problem. I get into trouble over such trivial matters it blows my mind. Even if I behave only slightly outside the norm

Shitty attitude

[Federico del pueblo]

@Emotionalmosquito just talk to your 2 friends until you hopefully get some good vibes going.

You don't have to cold approach anyone, so just chill out.

90% of your negative expectations are just neurotic thoughts in your head.

Most other people are also concerned about doing social mistakes. It's not like there is some spotlight constantly shining on you because you're the extra weird one (though there is a so called'spotlight effect'), most people don't even give a fuck about you and are worried what you think of them.

Maybe it'll help you to drink 2 beers or so to become a little less stifled.

[Nilsi]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

It’s invite only and about 70-100 people  will attend, rough estimate. I can’t afford to make any mistakes here because I’ve been screwed so hard the last several times I’ve tried to socialize at this level it’s left a very bitter taste in my mouth. The safest way I can think to go about it is closely observe about ten random guys for about five or ten minutes then emulate the average of them. Folks seem to have a serious aversion to originality and uniqueness where I live so I clearly can’t say anything outside the Overton window, which in my area is extremely narrow and retarded. How do I maximize my odds of pulling a girl without getting beheaded for perving? Half of what Leo says is a good idea in part 2 of the how to get laid series WILL get me kicked out very quickly. I need to not fuck this up but I can’t see any routes to victory. If I’m too boring, I’ll be allowed to stay but no one will be interested. If I’m too energetic people will get scared and I’ll have to leave. It doesn’t help that I have no way of knowing if I’m fucking up until it’s too late. “People” (if I can even call them that) will pretend to befriend only to later spread word around behind my back until I’m hated. For this reason paranoia is most of my experience in this situation. I’ll be taking lorazepam beforehand but that alone won’t do the trick. If there is some simple fix for this problem for the love of God tell me.

The only thing on my side with this event is two of my good friends will be there. I usually do stuff alone.

 

Dude, just be yourself. You are there to grow (and to have some fun). There are 100 people there; at least one of them will like you precisely as you are and appreciate you even more for not putting on a front, and its your job to find that person. This is not to say that you shouldnt put on your best self, but dont try to be something youre not - there is nothing more unattractive than that.

[LordFall]

I wouldn't try to "pull" or anything like that. If you consider yourself an incel with poor social skills then parties will be a horrible way for you to actually pull. It'll be just a good way to get reference experience and socialize yourself and in general, just have a good time; don't go in with any expectations.

The best way for you to actually get laid will be online dating ->daygame ->nightgame where there's anonymity and thus pretty much infinite reference experiences, experiments, and trial attempts in your quest to learn and master your process. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Nilsi Actually being myself is exactly the problem most of the time. That is why I put 

14 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

The safest way I can think to go about it is closely observe about ten random guys for about five or ten minutes then emulate the average of them. Folks seem to have a serious aversion to originality and uniqueness where I live so I clearly can’t say anything outside the Overton window, which in my area is extremely narrow and retarded.

I can usually find about 20-30% of any crowd that responds well to my psychoses. Problem is though, if I’ve already spooked a bunch of the other 75 percent in the process of finding the good ones, I can’t just act aloof and unaffected by the majority’s internal hyper-active threat detection system. To do so would be to pretend consequences don’t exist. Conversely, supposing I luck out by finding the good ones first, there isn’t much growth to be had in only interacting with small portions of the party. 

Example, about a few years ago I went to a rock and country bar on Halloween night dressed in my costume. At one moment my inspiration was to go to the dance floor and stand perfectly still facing everyone right in front of the speakers. It was the purest way I knew to be myself in that instance because it was funny and different. And surprise surprise I was told to either dance or get off the floor because I was “intimidating people” After that I sat at a table of two guys that thought it was awesome. You can see the polarization there.

10 hours ago, Nilsi said:

dont try to be something youre not - there is nothing more unattractive than that.

That’s interesting knowing that Hollywood actors make millions of people fall in love with them doing exactly that. Also, in my experience most of the guys that are successful with women are robotic and lame as hell.

12 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

90% of your negative expectations are just neurotic thoughts in your head.

Can we compromise and say it’s 50 50?

Since history repeats itself we can accurately predict something less than ideal will happen if I try to have fun. Even though I’m not trying to do anything wrong.

12 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

It's not like there is some spotlight constantly shining on you because you're the extra weird one (though there is a so called'spotlight effect'), most people don't even give a fuck about you and are worried what you think of them.

The way human beings work is they’ll take any perceived mistakes you make and straw man them to demonize you in order to take the attention off their own flaws.

[Emotionalmosquito]

@LordFall I have very little to work with in my small town. Very limited practice opportunities. If I was in a bigger city this little gathering would be about as significant as a fart in a tornado. Since I’m not it’s big.

[Nilsi]

7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@Nilsi Actually being myself is exactly the problem most of the time. That is why I put 

I can usually find about 20-30% of any crowd that responds well to my psychoses. Problem is though, if I’ve already spooked a bunch of the other 75 percent in the process of finding the good ones, I can’t just act aloof and unaffected by the majority’s internal hyper-active threat detection system. To do so would be to pretend consequences don’t exist. Conversely, supposing I luck out by finding the good ones first, there isn’t much growth to be had in only interacting with small portions of the party. 

Example, about a few years ago I went to a rock and country bar on Halloween night dressed in my costume. At one moment my inspiration was to go to the dance floor and stand perfectly still facing everyone right in front of the speakers. It was the purest way I knew to be myself in that instance because it was funny and different. And surprise surprise I was told to either dance or get off the floor because I was “intimidating people” After that I sat at a table of two guys that thought it was awesome. You can see the polarization there.

You can still be socially calibrated without having to put on a big show. If you dont even have the basics of social interaction down, you should focus on those for now. But again, there is no need to pretend; just put yourself out there and learn from the feedback you get.

[LordFall]

8 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@LordFall I have very little to work with in my small town. Very limited practice opportunities. If I was in a bigger city this little gathering would be about as significant as a fart in a tornado. Since I’m not it’s big.

Is dating something you'd like to solve over the next few years? I moved to the biggest city in my country a couple of years ago(Toronto) and the difference it made in my dating life is insane. Not only three times as many girls everywhere but also way more guys that know what they're doing that you can learn from.

If you already struggle with women then living in a small town is a death sentence and I'd highly recommend making moving a high priority. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK9TFNJI2SI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1q07WHuOs

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovS27WQU5-g

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

 

Edited September 10, 2022 by Raze

[King Merk]

I feel like you’re putting waaaaay too much pressure on yourself man.

Let’s be honest here, you’re probably not going to pull. So drop that expectation now.

Feel a little lighter now? Good. from there focus on simply having a good time with your buddies and enjoy the opportunity to meet some new people.

That’s it.

P.S.

To answer your question, the best chance for you to increase your odds of getting laid is by socializing more. Which by reading what you shared I’m given the impression that you don’t do that often.

So you’re moving in the right direction… just being too hard on yourself

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 9/9/2022 at 11:09 AM, something_else said:

No one is judging you as harshly as you think they are.

Correct. Until I open my mouth that is.

On 9/10/2022 at 11:00 AM, LordFall said:

Is dating something you'd like to solve over the next few years?

Yes.

On 9/10/2022 at 11:00 AM, LordFall said:

If you already struggle with women then living in a small town is a death sentence and I'd highly recommend making moving a high priority.

I would in an instant if I could. But there is absolutely no possible way I’ll have enough money for that any time soon.

On 9/11/2022 at 0:14 AM, King Merk said:

I feel like you’re putting waaaaay too much pressure on yourself man.

Past experiences have given me a valid reason for that. 

On 9/11/2022 at 0:14 AM, King Merk said:

the best chance for you to increase your odds of getting laid is by socializing more. Which by reading what you shared I’m given the impression that you don’t do that often.

The reason I don’t socialize more often is because there’s only so much human garbage I can take on top of the fact that since I live in a smaller town, I have little room to screw up. If someone gets weirded out, especially a girl, it’s over. There is no logically explaining my way out of it because feelings are irrational by nature. So I have to strategically plan for every night out for weeks or months in advance. 

Doesn’t it seem awfully unnatural that we have to do so much goddamn socializing just to land a girl in bed? Thousands before you really get the hang of it? If you didn’t know any better it would look as if an interstellar space traveler was trying to understand the customs of an alien race. It shouldn’t be so absurdly difficult to achieve the very thing that causes all physical life unless something is deeply and fundamentally wrong with attraction and dating.

 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Correct. Until I open my mouth that is.

Even then, no one judges you as harshly as you think they are. Especially when everyone is drinking.

Everyone is far more concerned with their own life than yours, just like you're far more concerned about your life than theirs.

[Tron]

Bro just don’t go to the party. You’re clearly a head case 

[King Merk]

6 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Doesn’t it seem awfully unnatural that we have to do so much goddamn socializing just to land a girl in bed? Thousands before you really get the hang of it? If you didn’t know any better it would look as if an interstellar space traveler was trying to understand the customs of an alien race. It shouldn’t be so absurdly difficult to achieve the very thing that causes all physical life unless something is deeply and fundamentally wrong with attraction and dating.

No.

Whats unnatural is the years you’ve spent alone in your room jerking off to porn and playing video games.

Human beings are social by nature, even those of us who are highly introverted.

You’re upset because you have to work hard to get women. Let’s be honest man, that standard of working hard to achieve something worth having applies to everything in life.

Your entire perspective around socializing and dating is toxic.

Realize that and change before it’s too late.