Processing through loss

[ndm678]

I left my partner about 7 months ago. I burnt it to the ground so I wouldn't be tempted to go back, like I had done multiple times before.

I dove into my spiritual path, I started a business, I traveled around the region like a bohemian working, meeting people, experiencing a different kind of life than I was accustomed to.

I really haven't had much interest in pursuing romantic or sexual relationships.

I had a sleazy hook up last night. 

I've done a masterful job of avoiding the feelings I've experienced today.

I miss my ex gf, I still miss my ex wife (over 4 years now). I miss the bond and connection I had with both of them.

It's time to 'pay the piper', stop distracting, and process through this. I hold alot of regret for the way both fell apart, I take responsibility for my role in these aspects.

I don't know why I'm putting this topic here. Perhaps an anonymous outlet to excersise some demons. Perhaps for some camaraderie. Perhaps I'm looking for a good old fashioned scolding, or just distracting myself again.

[LSD-Rumi]

@ndm678 Why don't just working towards creating new bonds instead of thinking about the lost ones? There are  plenty of Amazing people out there to make bonds with. Don't get attached to a single perosn, there are 10 billion people on this Earth.

[ndm678]

@LSD-Rumi I intend to, in due time. I'm still a bit hung up and want to process through so I'm not bringing baggage.

I thought I had processed through, its been 7 months, but that wasn't the case.