Pick up at different stages of the spiral

[Majed]

It would be interesting to compare and contrast how is pick up done at different stages of spiral dynamics for example stage red, orange, green and yellow. I wonder how would that look like. I need you guys to add examples of pick up artists at different stages as well as give me your opinions and analysis on this.

[Devin]

Red- teasing; drunk at bar, or high school sweet hearts

Orange- compliment; college sweethearts, or sober at bar

Green- mutual interest, question; event, activity

Yellow- casual conversation with random stranger, small talk; anywhere

Edited September 13, 2022 by Devin

[Leo Gura]

Pickup itself is a very stage Orange activity and frame of mind.

[Vrubel]

@Leo Gura
For me pick-up is mainly self-development: dealing with rejections, little heartbreaks ( I am now very aware of how the 5 stages of grief express themselves), being more authentic and masculine but also being more loving towards myself and her. Though yeah manipulations of different sorts are involved in "game".

Game is so deliciously hard because of the stark difference in investment before sex. I used to put a lot of value on having a "click" with a girl, and I still do but now I also realize that if you're attractive to one hot girl you're also attractive to all hot girls. (A good substantial chunk that is, as all girls are impossible ofcourse). 

Edited September 13, 2022 by Vrubel

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Yali said:

You're still in that frame of mind, having approached 3000 women in one year

@Leo Gura

I am in a frame of mind where I can exercise any stage of the Spiral that is appropriate to the situation. I don't need to be ultra spiritual when flirting with a girl.

There is value in the whole Spiral, not just the top.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Hello from Russia]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I am in a frame of mind where I can exercise any stage of the Spiral that is appropriate to the situation. I don't need to be ultra spiritual when flirting with a girl.

There is value in the whole Spiral, not just the top.

I wonder how do you not get bored/sick from conventional stage orange girls after so many awakenings? I mean, there is infinite beauty in them too, of course, too much fluff in the mind, no?

I was dating some stage orangey/green girls from top Russian universities and I feel I just cannot stomach it any longer. My plan is to go find a hot witch girlfriend/wife now for real, with all seriousness

Edited September 13, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Leo Gura]

@Hello from Russia

1) You assume that pickup works on only some type of girls. This is wrong.

2) The reality is that most girls in big cities are Orange/Green. Occasionally you bump into something higher, but that does not mean physical attraction will be there. If I only dated girls at my level of depth, I would be a virgin forever. I don't need a girl to be my spiritual guru. That is not her function.

3) Be careful what you wish for with those witch girlfriends. They can be batshit crazy and impossible. A lot of New Agey type girls have all sorts of New Age brainwashing which is less appealing than just a simple materialist girl who knows nothing about spirituality. I would rather teach a girl spirituality myself than have to fight a decade of New Age brainwashing.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Hello from Russia]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

@Hello from Russia

1) You assume that pickup works on only some type of girls. This is wrong.

2) The reality is that most girls in big cities are Orange/Green. Occasionally you bump into something higher, but that does mean attraction will be there.

No, no, I know the power of all this stuff

I assume/project that you date these orange/green girls I guess, which might be wrong

Maybe it's my karma/personality, but all these orange/green girls are making me sick personally

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

I assume/project that you date these orange/green girls I guess, which might be wrong

Green is about as good as you're gonna get.

I'm not looking to date Jesus or Albert Einstein.

A decent Green girl who's not too New Agey is great.

Your witch girlfriends are mostly gonna be Green anyways. And then probably have some mental disorders on top of that.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Hello from Russia]

20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Hello from Russia

3) Be careful what you wish for with those witch girlfriends. They can be batshit crazy and impossible. A lot of New Agey type girls have all sorts of New Age brainwashing which is less appealing than just a simple materialist girl who knows nothing about spirituality. I would rather teach a girl spirituality myself than have to fight a decade of New Age brainwashing.

Yeah, you are right, to be honest, that is like a #1 concern of mine with all this endeavor

I am thinking maybe some very hardcore open-minded spiritual teacher-type girl would fit the bill. Some shamannese if you will. But that would be very challenging, kind of like trying to find Jesus in a girl form I guess, indeed

Teaching someone from scratch, I feel, is a great angle, but I just don't feel myself that capable as a teacher, to be honest. I can be a great doer of these things, but teaching seems as completely separate endevour. And it would require a girl to be very very open-minded. I guess since you've mastered teaching so much it could be a great choice for you. In a sense I actually tried teaching it and had some success but ultimately got frustrated and failed.

These material girls are like this for a reason, it could be that they just wanted to live this heavily materialistic life, sort of like a karma of the soul and you're kinda interfering with that. 

Also, stage blue/orange indoctrination from our cultures I feel can actualyl be so much more challenging to rewire than decades of new age. For a girl to be new age she at least needs to be rather open-minded 

Edited September 13, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Leo Gura]

@Hello from Russia The most important thing is that there is values alignment and openness to grow and learn. All you really need from a girl is that you are physically hot for her and that your personalities get along well, and she values personal development. That's enough to build something great. You can find that in an Orange/Green girl.

And it's not so much that you're gonna sit down and school her, you will just plant seeds and show her things and grow together over the years. Trip together, etc. She does not need to know all the Actualized theory.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Devin]

57 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

 

I was dating some stage orangey/green girls from top Russian universities and I feel I just cannot stomach it any longer. My plan is to go find a hot witch girlfriend/wife now for real, with all seriousness

What do you get sick of? A need of mine is time and space away from them, I cannot spend every non working moment with them like a cheesy sitcom. And I also don't just mean hours, but days, even a week or more occasionally, we do not merge into one. She has to have friends for this to work by the way, women don't like being alone.

Have fun with them, explore stuff, team up on life stuff, you need to have a mutually agreeable life direction, but I think you need to remain two different people.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Devin

[Hello from Russia]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Hello from Russia The most important thing is that there is values alignment and openness to grow and learn. All you really need from a girl is that you are physically hot for her and that your personalities get along well, and she values personal development. That's enough to build something great. You can find that in an Orange/Green girl.

And it's not so much that you're gonna sit down and school her, you will just plant seeds and show her things and grow together over the years. Trip together, etc. She does not need to know all the Actualized theory.

The problem is one of my highest values is Depth. And another one is Excellence, I really like to go heavy into things. And I found if someone very close is half-assing things that are highly important to me or just isn't interested in them I feel very frustrated

I don't know, I just feel like I need Jesus after all 

That all feels very perfectionistic for sure, even from my own pov, which I recognize. At the same time I can easily picture a scenario for myself to drop all this bullshit on a dime and go marry a completely non-crazy girl after some years and live a completely "normal" life with her, total immersion into the human experience as it was how assumable you were supposed to live anyways

But I don't know, on the other hand, it feels way too basic and almost as "giving up". People were living like this for Millenials, if we are to believe history and myths, why not do something different and immerse yourself with some crazy girl? 

And I've just grown tired of this phenomenon of me being too superior to the girl in terms of intelligence/insight. I just get frustrated so much after some time. I want someone close to my level or at least someone comparable, not necessarily the same/equal, but just close/comparable. So I can enjoy and share deep moments with them.

Even the depth of the most mundane stuff. It's like with some people you can't even enjoy the mundane stuff properly, they take everything so for granted, it's just frustrating. I am tired of being frustrated like this - and it is the whole issue of why I am sharing all this

[Hello from Russia]

7 minutes ago, Devin said:

What do you get sick of? A need of mine is time and space away from them, I cannot spend every non working moment with them like a cheesy sitcom. And I also don't just mean hours, but days, even a week or more occasionally, we do not merge into one. She has to have friends for this to work by the way, women don't like being alone.

Sounds like an avoidant attachment style (From attachment theory)

Mine is like totally the opposite

[Devin]

5 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

The problem is one of my highest values is Depth. And another one is Excellence, I really like to go heavy into things. And I found if someone very close is half-assing things that are highly important to me or just isn't interested in them I feel very frustrated

I don't know, I just feel like I need Jesus after all 

That all feels very perfectionistic for sure, even from my own pov, which I recognize. At the same time I can easily picture a scenario for myself to drop all this bullshit on a dime and go marry a completely non-crazy girl after some years and live a completely "normal" life with her, total immersion into the human experience as it was how assumable you were supposed to live anyways

But I don't know, on the other hand, it feels way too basic and almost as "giving up". People were living like this for Millenials, if we are to believe history and myths, why not do something different and immerse yourself with some crazy girl? 

And I've just grown tired of this phenomenon of me being too superior to the girl in terms of intelligence/insight. I just get frustrated so much after some time. I want someone close to my level or at least someone comparable, not necessarily the same/equal, but just close/comparable. So I can enjoy and share deep moments with them.

Even the depth of the most mundane stuff. It's like with some people you can't even enjoy the mundane stuff properly, they take everything so for granted, it's just frustrating. I am tired of being frustrated like this - and it is the whole issue of why I am sharing all this

Yeah, I had to let go of going deep with others, but I let it go easier than expected. I don't think there's any need for it. 

Edited September 13, 2022 by Devin

[Devin]

7 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

Sounds like an avoidant attachment style (From attachment theory)

Mine is like totally the opposite

Have fun with them, explore stuff, team up on life stuff, you need to have a mutually agreeable life direction, but I think you need to remain two different people.

Secure attachment people don't love each other or go deep either

I don't know about anxious attachment style if that's what you mean, you'd probably need jesus

Edited September 13, 2022 by Devin

[Hello from Russia]

16 minutes ago, Devin said:

Have fun with them, explore stuff, team up on life stuff, you need to have a mutually agreeable life direction, but I think you need to remain two different people.

Secure attachment people don't love each other or go deep either

I don't know about anxious attachment style if that's what you mean, you'd probably need jesus

We all need Jesus, man, in one way or the other (Halleluja!)

I'm not sure about secure attachment people don't love each other or going deep together, from what I see everyone experiences love. It's just with secure attachment there is more possibility for good sustainability

Edited September 13, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Devin]

10 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

We all need Jesus, man, in one way or the other (Halleluja!)

I'm not sure about secure attachment people don't love each other or going deep together, from what I see everyone experiences love. It's just with secure attachment there is more possibility for good sustainability

Secure attachment seems to be the only healthy style, I consider my style secure not avoidant but not an expert

Connection and intimacy is a requirement for me as well, I guess I thought that went without saying. I can't have sex with a woman without that,,, well maybe if there was a really long dry streak.

But I gave up on the spiritual depth with others and I don't regret it

Edited September 13, 2022 by Devin

[Majed]

@Leo Gura How would a stage green guy or a stage yellow guy goes about getting laid ?

[Ulax]

I think most of pickup is self help on steroids for orange.