Pick up at different stages of the spiral

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Hello from Russia said:

The problem is one of my highest values is Depth. And another one is Excellence, I really like to go heavy into things. And I found if someone very close is half-assing things that are highly important to me or just isn't interested in them I feel very frustrated

I don't know, I just feel like I need Jesus after all 

That all feels very perfectionistic for sure, even from my own pov, which I recognize. At the same time I can easily picture a scenario for myself to drop all this bullshit on a dime and go marry a completely non-crazy girl after some years and live a completely "normal" life with her, total immersion into the human experience as it was how assumable you were supposed to live anyways

But I don't know, on the other hand, it feels way too basic and almost as "giving up". People were living like this for Millenials, if we are to believe history and myths, why not do something different and immerse yourself with some crazy girl? 

And I've just grown tired of this phenomenon of me being too superior to the girl in terms of intelligence/insight. I just get frustrated so much after some time. I want someone close to my level or at least someone comparable, not necessarily the same/equal, but just close/comparable. So I can enjoy and share deep moments with them.

Even the depth of the most mundane stuff. It's like with some people you can't even enjoy the mundane stuff properly, they take everything so for granted, it's just frustrating. I am tired of being frustrated like this - and it is the whole issue of why I am sharing all this

Well, approach 5000 girls and you will find your one.

11 minutes ago, Majed said:

@Leo Gura How would a stage green guy or a stage yellow guy goes about getting laid ?

The same as an Orange guy, by socializing.

[Hello from Russia]

About main theme of the topic:
There is a very good book on going about this topic for stage yellow+ men called "Integral Relationship" (Martin Ucik). It's written by a buddy of Ken Wilber and has very good frameworks on how to determine and sort of map your "one" girl to deeply understand where to look and how.

It also touches a lot on how different spiral types typically relate to each other in intimate relationships (Sorry for poor quality, can't find any better unfortunately)

He also introduces such a thing as sexual development and sexual stages of development and describes/integrates a ton of frameworks about them and all things sexual. Such a profound stage yellow + work tbh. 

Damn, @Leo Gura, I think you would highly appreciate the work of this guy

Edited September 13, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Majed]

@Leo Gura so why is pick up stage orange ?

[Girzo]

2 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

"Integral Relationship" (Martin Ucik)

I have read this, it's integral theory adapted to relationships like a blueprint. A lot of authors from Ken Wilber's community do that when writing a book, they basically take integral theory and do this:

2 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

He also introduces such a thing as sexual development and sexual stages of development and describes/integrates a ton of frameworks about them and all things sexual

They add their theme of the book as a new line of development.

The book itself is a good read. It recycles some common psychology theories and is a good example of how to practice applying integral theory to a topic. Reading this book might give you some ideas on how to apply the theory to some other topic, like for example money, and think everything through as it has been thought through in the book.

I have designed my own relationship based on his triangle and use it routinely to diagnose if any problems start to appear my gfs and my relationship. It's not his original idea, though. Many other ideas are not original either, but if you have never studied psychology nor integral theory in a serious setting, then you might find many ideas from the book new and refreshing

Edited September 13, 2022 by Girzo

[StarStruck]

The lower stages are integrated into the higher stages so it is not black and white like that.

The lower stage tactics can work on the higher, but not visa-versa.

[Superfluo]

5 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

There is a very good book on going about this topic for stage yellow+ men called "Integral Relationship" (Martin Ucik).

+1

I recently found and added that book on my wishlist, it feels like it will be a gem!

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

About main theme of the topic:
There is a very good book on going about this topic for stage yellow+ men called "Integral Relationship" (Martin Ucik). It's written by a buddy of Ken Wilber and has very good frameworks on how to determine and sort of map your "one" girl to deeply understand where to look and how.

It also touches a lot on how different spiral types typically relate to each other in intimate relationships (Sorry for poor quality, can't find any better unfortunately)

He also introduces such a thing as sexual development and sexual stages of development and describes/integrates a ton of frameworks about them and all things sexual. Such a profound stage yellow + work tbh. 

Damn, @Leo Gura, I think you would highly appreciate the work of this guy

Looks like a good book.

[Devin]

 

It says emasculating under the yellow guy with green girl. Interesting

It shows the woman being ahead of the men in most successful scenarios. Interesting

Edited September 14, 2022 by Devin

[Vrubel]

@Leo Gura This question might be a little bit off-topic, but I heard that you really enjoy the days you have for yourself more than going to clubs. Generally, clubs and going out at night are a huge drain on energy and productivity and the girls there are generally of lesser quality. So my question is why not just day game?

It's way less energy intensive and once you've passed the brutal learning curve and you're actually good at it, it's really a shockingly reliable way of getting dates, and all it takes is an hour or two of strolling through the busy part of town a couple of times a week.    

Edited September 14, 2022 by Vrubel

[Leo Gura]

40 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

why not just day game?

Day game is only effective is specific locations. It's hard to find hot girls during the day.

Edited September 14, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Vrubel]

@Leo Gura Yeah location is important, I usually game in and around the largest and busiest rail and bus station in the country. Especially during rush hour, I can't really complain about abundance issues. 

But it is a relatively small area so when I feel weird for walking there too much I take a stroll in the relatively calm and charming city center and parks and head back into "the Zone" when I feel ready. Also beforehand I like to walk off my anxiety in that manner.

[ZenSwift]

@Hello from Russia thanks for the book suggestion. 

I love this kind of stuff. I really need to allow myself more time to absorb this content.