Feeling overloaded by spirituality

[Jannes]

14 hours ago, puporing said:

It all happens "in time" or "in turn". You're shown what you're ready to see and just within your awareness. You're in like the "not knowing"/deconstruction phase it seems. There's no need to "rush", unless that's what feels right, but whatever you feel called to/ready for will be shown to you...least that's been my experience. 

I anticipated/feared that this answer would come.

But yes that’s most likely very true. 

[Jannes]

I thought it over and I don’t think there is too much to worry about. By allowing myself to express some frustration I can see things more clearly now. I simply haven’t had a lot of quality trip time and almost only on the wrong substance plus in my position where I have a lot of things I worry about it’s simply harder to access these higher states of consciousness. Acid seems to be a substance where I can gain a lot from. I got enough time to trip regularly in the next months. If I still haven’t accessed anything satisfying then I will simply make another post.

Thanks for all the comments. 

[The Mystical Man]

17 hours ago, Tahuti said:

My friend did 5tabs of 1p-lsd and to this day argues that lsd isn't spiritual. He thinks all this consciousness talk is nonsense. 

The nature of the psychedelic experience is not inherently spiritual. A mind that wasn't exposed to spiritual teachings, a mind that isn't interested in the source of consciousness, will have a fun trippy experience. I can't have fun trippy experiences anymore, even if I wanted to. 

[peanutspathtotruth]

17 hours ago, Jannes said:

I thought it over and I don’t think there is too much to worry about. By allowing myself to express some frustration I can see things more clearly now. I simply haven’t had a lot of quality trip time and almost only on the wrong substance plus in my position where I have a lot of things I worry about it’s simply harder to access these higher states of consciousness. Acid seems to be a substance where I can gain a lot from. I got enough time to trip regularly in the next months. If I still haven’t accessed anything satisfying then I will simply make another post.

Thanks for all the comments. 

There's truly a lot to this you might also keep in mind. The stage of your development dictates how you're experiencing mystical states of consciousness. You're at where you're at and you can do a lot to keep on growing, which you seem to do  So it's just getting deeper and deeper when you stick to it, you can trust that.

Also, spiritual practice is key. When you meditate a lot for years and then trip, it's just getting you magnitudes deeper. Psychological barriers can get in the way of even accessing these deeper states, too. It's a lot more complex than "I take LSD -> mystical experience will occur". It will much more probably, but the way your mind meets the experience is so dependent on all the structures you're working from. I get the frustration though  

[Jannes]

Shaky hands trip report (≈110ug lsd) 09.09.2022

Followed Leos video (guided exercise for realizing you are god) again.

I became so conscious of my hand that I awoken to the fact that my hands dont exist in time. Simply the fact that they exist as in that anything exists at all shocked me to the core. I didn’t dare to be conscious of it for more then a few seconds. It was so shocking that my teeth bit together as strong as they could and I almost had a panick attack. Don’t know what a panick attack really is but that almost was one. 
Then I wanted to eat some chocolate cookies because I felt hungry. In the eating process I became conscious of the fact that I have always eaten things because I thought that I am a human and I need food to survive and by eating it it goes into my stomach and stuff but I broke through that fantasy and ended just with my sensations "in my mouth“ completely confused by why they were there and what their purpose was. What am I doing?? 

…

Holy shoot What have I gotten myself into, .. , or out of, AAAAAAGHH!!

Yeah there isn’t much else to the trip. Just felt like I got overrun by a concreting machine. But it was great. Looking forward to doing it again ??

Edit: A lot of stuff also seemed to be healing in my psyche. 

[Breakingthewall]

@Jannes the substance that goes directly to the realization of god is 5 meo. and this does not happen always or easily. try working with 5 meo, it also has the advantage of short duration. When the door opens for you, nothing will be the same. it is as if you had lived mummified and suddenly, you resurrect. your heart opens . your mind opens. there is nothing like it. Push. go for it, with determination. open the door

[Jannes]

49 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Jannes the substance that goes directly to the realization of god is 5 meo. and this does not happen always or easily. try working with 5 meo, it also has the advantage of short duration. When the door opens for you, nothing will be the same. it is as if you had lived mummified and suddenly, you resurrect. your heart opens . your mind opens. there is nothing like it. Push. go for it, with determination. open the door

Only have access to lsd and magic truffles at the moment. Lsd seems to be a lot better then magic truffles at least..

I believe you  

I hope I can get my hands on something like 5meo at some point.