Feeling overloaded by spirituality

[Jannes]

On a recent lsd trip I got in touch with my love for discovering and understanding. I always loved to introspect into my psyche and to really penetrate into some areas where I could find resistance. When something cracked open and I understood new connections I always jumped in circles out of joy. Even if I realized how much of a devil I was I was still in so much joy when I understood something new. I remembered one really conscious moment where I realized that this is what I want my life to be around. This natural joy is still there but often really suppressed in spiritually which is crazy because spirituality is basically all about introspecting and wanting to crack something and you can only do it for yourself and it’s possible to gain the biggest rewards from it. What an incredible joy!! It’s like everything that I want to do anyway. But somehow I don’t feel that joy because everything feels so heavy and out of reach. I watched most of Leos videos about spirituality and intellectually I understood most of them but I couldn’t verify pretty much anything. It feels like I can never catch up but have to catch up because otherwise I am still a stupid donkey living in the matrix. And it’s so painful because I constantly have to reject the materialism paradigm but also can’t accept the "God-paradigm“ because I haven’t experienced it yet and therefore would be no better then a stage blue religious person who says god is real because some authority figure said so. And then there are all of these incredible maps that Leo made. I want to feel like a pioneer but I don’t feel like I could ever make maps as good as Leos. And then all of my survival issues eat me up inside and overtake most of the time from psychedelic trips. 
Can anybody relate? I feel like most of these fears will just be swiped away if I reach a mystical experience but I still wanted to share this, idk why.

[puporing]

It all happens "in time" or "in turn". You're shown what you're ready to see and just within your awareness. You're in like the "not knowing"/deconstruction phase it seems. There's no need to "rush", unless that's what feels right, but whatever you feel called to/ready for will be shown to you...least that's been my experience. 

Edited September 7, 2022 by puporing

[Devin]

They can all easily be swiped away and have in your past, everytime you were joyful.

Reading that I would say, soak up the feeling you're having, relish in it. After you get to continual enlightenment you'll never be able to feel it or experience it again. It's a treasure, that you can only have pre enlightenment, enjoy the scary movie or rollercoaster these few times or years, cuz you can't go back.

[Consilience]

@Devin Enlightenment opens up the capacity for a joy that a self cannot hold. Way more joy is available post enlightenment. 

[Devin]

@Consilience I'll take your word for it. But normal joy is more than good enough for me.

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, puporing said:

It all happens "in time" or "in turn". You're shown what you're ready to see and just within your awareness. You're in like the "not knowing"/deconstruction phase it seems. There's no need to "rush", unless that's what feels right, but whatever you feel called to/ready for will be shown to you...least that's been my experience. 

^ This...so much this....

 

45 minutes ago, Consilience said:

@Devin Enlightenment opens up the capacity for a joy that a self cannot hold. Way more joy is available post enlightenment. 

^ I've noticed...its like the weather. I've experienced profound joy the last couple of days and then woke up today...and it just felt blah....I was like really? I just accepted the feeling....it came and then it went. So I realized....its just a constant happening. Its like the freaking weather. 

I see why Leo said its an acquired taste. Its better than not having it...but there is something to said about ignorance too. 

The even funny thing is...everyone is actually already enlightened. I finally got what Buddha meant by that. You really just forgot...this is just a game of hide and seek and eventually you find it. It feels like coming home...somehow familiar....and yet also...alien. Weird for me...

[Inliytened1]

@Jannes try embracing what you inutit is true.   Trust your intuition.  What does it tell you?  If it tells you that science and thd materialist paradigm governs reality then so be it.  Intuition is more powerful then Intelligence.  Start letting that guide you.  It.may open up doors that you could not budge with intelligence.

Edited September 7, 2022 by Inliytened1

[Leo Gura]

@Jannes If you're taking LSD then you should be experiencing the things I'm talking about.

How many times have you taken it?

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Jannes If you're taking LSD then you should be experiencing the things I'm talking about.

How many times have you taken it?

Do you think quantity of trips can simply overwhelm brain chemistry and genetics?  I wish that were the case, but we have seen time and time again that it does not.   I think one needs to alter their own brain chemistry and rewire- its not just about popping a pill and God will magically appear.  

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by Inliytened1

[SOUL]

Maybe if you can strip away the labels and concepts that have been learned to describe the experiences and don't be quick to try find explanations.

Quite often the mind will strangle it with those things so much so that we cannot full enjoy them or allow them to teach us as clearly as they potentially can.

Not easy for sure but we don't have to chase the mind wherever it goes, let it fly off on it's own and instead keep awareness free to observe the activity in as free a form as it will be.

Don't judge or compare your experiences, they are pure and perfect for you as it is.

[Leo Gura]

43 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Do you think quantity of trips can simply overwhelm brain chemistry and genetics?

You're right. Of course it's not so simple.

However, most people should experience some very mystical stuff on enough LSD.

I struggle to understand how a person cannot.

Edited September 7, 2022 by Leo Gura

[SOUL]

@Leo Gura  I guess it does have much to do with how the person is interpreting the experience in the moment. Some people can explore it more fully because they are just real comfortable in that space, some not so much...or not at all.

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura my Friends took 600 micro Allad and walked in town,was even Shopping. He trips once a year

All he said was it was funny to watch birds morphing and its like disney Land. It was so strong he could not see where he was but no insights

But I have to say He is low in  consciousness and is substituted now, was Heroin addict

 

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Tahuti said:

My friend did 5tabs of 1p-lsd and to this day argues that lsd isn't spiritual. He thinks all this consciousness talk is nonsense. 

That is quite stunning.

Some people just seem to have natural resistance to it.

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You're right. Of course it's not so simple.

However, most people should experience some very mystical stuff on enough LSD.

I struggle to understand how a person cannot.

Leo you take for granted how you are wired. You are a truth addict. All LSD did for you...is  help you drop all the garbage society impressed in you...and then...the rest was history. Its sad, but unless someone is seeking it, they won't get the hints.

When I told my mom about my experiences...my mom once fell down when she was working as a nurse...I found out this year she had a mystical experience. She told me...."Oh that wasn't a mystical experience, I was just hallucinating." I bust out laughing in my mind. 

I was like "Whyyy?" Unless they are open to it they won't get it.

I have been able to convince two of my friends about this and they believe it (intellectually lol) but they aren't interested. A lot of fear arises in them....which was funny to me. Its why I totally understand....God only wants to wake up....when God is ready. 

My friend has now had spirituality videos showing up in his feed all of a sudden. I caught one of my friends reading the bible now LOL. So the interest is rising. My sister....intuited most of spirituality without even reading or learning any of it. She was practically finishing some of my sentences.... but she too...is not ready to go into it. 

The truth is....you were already re-wiring your brain with all your self-inquiry, LSD just supercharged it.

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Jannes try embracing what you inutit is true.   Trust your intuition.  What does it tell you?  If it tells you that science and thd materialist paradigm governs reality then so be it.  Intuition is more powerful then Intelligence.  Start letting that guide you.  It.may open up doors that you could not budge with intelligence.

Its funny how true this is....and I would have resisted this message just 2 years ago. 

[Hello from Russia]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That is quite stunning.

Some people just seem to have natural resistance to it.

Yes. Some people as though are blocked in inter-dimencial stuff

It seems like people who have worse intuition and introspection skill gain much less off of these chemicals

[Jannes]

10 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Jannes try embracing what you inutit is true.   Trust your intuition.  What does it tell you?  If it tells you that science and thd materialist paradigm governs reality then so be it.  Intuition is more powerful then Intelligence.  Start letting that guide you.  It.may open up doors that you could not budge with intelligence.

Like 6 years ago I listened to a short lecture of Alan Watts where he poetically speaks about how it would feel to go through life being aware that you are god. It was kind of a mini enlightenment into the possibility to another way of existing where you flow through life by surrendering complete control. I intuitively knew that this is true but didn’t know what it really was or how to get there but I followed this intuition all these years and ended up here. The materialist paradigm is pain lol. 
The way that colourful leafs swirl in the air when it is fall, The painful yet invigorating way of cold wind on naked skin when it is winter, a gull screaming while it is flying above the sea while the sun goes down. This has to be profound love, it has to be but I can’t access it for some reason. 

Edited September 7, 2022 by Jannes

[Jannes]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Jannes If you're taking LSD then you should be experiencing the things I'm talking about.

How many times have you taken it?

I have only taken two low to medium doses of lsd yet otherwise mostly magic truffles. Lsd is definitely the way to go I feel but I have to work myself up to higher doses. Lsd feels tougher to trip on also.

[Jannes]

9 hours ago, SOUL said:

Maybe if you can strip away the labels and concepts that have been learned to describe the experiences and don't be quick to try find explanations.

Quite often the mind will strangle it with those things so much so that we cannot full enjoy them or allow them to teach us as clearly as they potentially can.

Not easy for sure but we don't have to chase the mind wherever it goes, let it fly off on it's own and instead keep awareness free to observe the activity in as free a form as it will be.

Don't judge or compare your experiences, they are pure and perfect for you as it is.

I will keep that in mind.