Need Some Self-inquiry Feedback

[Truth]

So this is the first time I'm actually doing some self-inquiry, I have no idea what I'm doing but I've decided to journal to help me in this process because I just became really frustrated without it. I currently have no idea how to do self inquiry, but I'm going to figure it out. I'm looking for some tips on how to do self-inquiry, questioning my identity and who I believe I am, finding out who am I, literally, and I want to know what's true. I'm not looking for you to tell me that "dude you're awareness! you're aware of it all! " or "you're nothingness!" I understand all of those ideas, but I want to experience awareness and nothingness for what it ACTUALLY truly is in direct experience. that's all I want, I just want the truth with the ultimate intent of living with an accurate perception of reality. and who I truly am. this is my first inquiry --> 

"What exists for me? I can feel things on my body, sensations, I can hear sounds, I can see objects from my eyes. What else?

I can hear thoughts that I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

I can bring up images that I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

Anything else? No. this is all that exists for me.

What are these things?

I have no fucking clue, I just know that they exist and that there is an experience of them.

Where do I exist?  Take a guess.

I exist in thoughts again I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

I’m labeling them thoughts because I need something to ground me in this work.

What is a thought? Truly? It’s an experience.

What is an experience? The recognition that something exists. What exists and doesn’t exist?

What exists is something that I can perceive or notice, whatever label I want to use here.

What doesn’t exist is what I can’t perceive and what I can’t notice again whatever label I want to use here.

So what am I?

“I” am a label created inside an experience."

I'm just looking for some tips and maybe a little guidance in this process and maybe how others do self inquiry, how you started, how you progressed, Thanks. 

 

[ChimpBrain]

You can go read on Liberation Unleashed where they have guides that walk people through the process of self inquiry to get some ideas of the kinds of questions to ask yourself. 

[Echoes]

"I can see objects from my eyes" Have you considered that your eyes and even your face is just thought story? The whole thing that there is a face with eyes watching objects in a distance. <- question this. maybe there is no "experiencer" and no "experienced" but just experience itself

Edited February 14, 2017 by Echoes

[Truth]

9 minutes ago, Echoes said:

"I can see objects from my eyes" Have you considered that your eyes and even your face are just thought storys? The whole thing that there is a face with eyes watching objects in a distance. <- question this. maybe there is no "experiencer" and no "experienced" but just experience itself

well, for me, clearly there is a face with eyes watching objects in the distance, and I am aware that I'm currently experiencing that right this second, the "experiencer" is the "I" label in thoughts, and "experienced" refers to the past which I'm not interested in.  I'm not really sure how you jumped to these conclusions.

[Echoes]

15 minutes ago, Truth said:

well, for me, clearly there is a face with eyes watching objects in the distance, and I am aware that I'm currently experiencing that right this second, the "experiencer" is the "I" label in thoughts, and "experienced" refers to the past which I'm not interested in.  I'm not really sure how you jumped to these conclusions.

you never experienced your own face or your own eyes. you never experienced an eyeball watching at an object. I meant "perceived" with "experienced". So right now you think you are the perceiver (eyes), perceiving the perceived (object). But actually the three are the same. There is no perceiver and no perceived. only perception/experience. You think there is a you watching at an object.

Edited February 14, 2017 by Echoes

[Truth]

48 minutes ago, Echoes said:

you never experienced your own face or your own eyes. you never experienced an eyeball watching at an object. I meant "perceived" with "experienced". So right now you think you are the perceiver (eyes), perceiving the perceived (object). But actually the three are the same. There is no perceiver and no perceived. only perception/experience. You think there is a you watching at an object.

to me experience means the recognition that something exists. I don't think I'm the perceiver perceiving the perceived. I experience that there is perception of these things.. that's all. "I" refers to "me" "awareness" "nothingness" whatever label you want to use. I realize that I do still identify that there is a me experiencing these things because I need a premise that explains the experience that's occurring right now. Your premise is based on that "I" don't exist. which I understand. but that doesn't deny that there still is experience happening regardless if there is someone behind it which of course enlightenment says there isn't. I'm looking to find out what is the source that even recognizes that something exists in the first place. that's the thing I'm interested in. which is nothingness. which I'm really trying to get to the bottom of even if there is no bottom to be found.  Sorry if there's a lot of confusion. 

Edited February 14, 2017 by Truth

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Truth said:

What exists for me? I can feel things on my body, sensations, I can hear sounds, I can see objects from my eyes. What else?

I can hear thoughts that I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

I can bring up images that I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

Anything else? No. this is all that exists for me.

What are these things?

I have no fucking clue, I just know that they exist and that there is an experience of them.

Where do I exist?  Take a guess.

I exist in thoughts again I have no idea what they are or where they are located, they’re just there.

Good, so let's quickly cut to the chase by airing out some of the hidden assumptions in your reasoning.

Do things really exist for YOU? Or do things simply exist?

Do YOU hear sounds, or do sounds simply arise? Do YOU feel things, or do feelings simply arise?

Are YOU bringing up images? What is that YOU?

Are there really things, or simply arising sensations?

Do things exist, or do amorphous sensations arise and pass away, having no constant existence?

What actually exists for more than half a second? Anything?

You say you exist in thought, but is that REALLY what you believe? Do you cease existing in between two thoughts?

Keep exploring all these questions. This is the right track. But it will require much practice.

Try to get REALLY clear about what you believe you are. Not ideas of "Nothingness" but REALLY! If we put a gun to your head, what is going to die? << That's more like it.

All your ideas of nothingness are gonna REALLY hold you back. Drop them. Pretend like you've never heard anything about enlightenment, and then proceed with the self-inquiry.

[Truth]

Thanks @Leo Gura, I've been going pretty deep even with just the first questions you gave. I realize I need to get better at  questioning, asking proper questions, double checking, triple checking my assumptions and continue to build up my mindfulness to really "see" what's going on on the meta level. Thanks again.

[PureExp]

11 hours ago, Truth said:

“I” am a label created inside an experience."

You are doing great ! "I" is only a concept. You won't find an "I" anywhere, not outside nor inside. What you will find is that there is just "being-ness".

I suggest a question - Have I ever encountered anything that is not an experience? If yes, how would it look like?

 

 

Edited February 14, 2017 by PureExp
typo

[Key Elements]

We think that we're in a body and mind. We learned to assume that our whole lives. But, how would that look like if the body and mind is taken away and we're left with nothing, no human form?

Edited February 14, 2017 by Key Elements

[Nahm]

@Truth "I'm just looking for some tips and maybe a little guidance in this process and maybe how others do self inquiry, how you started, how you progressed, Thanks."

 

If you want simple easy truth, learn biology and physics.

If you want to find balance in truth and mysticism (It sounds like this is more what you want) learn quantum mechanics.

Meditate every morning to absorb and expand your capacity. 

It's hard to go wrong with the eight fold path as a foundation.

A word of caution - always be cognizant of the difference between thinking, believing, knowing, experiencing and being. Your trancendance of each make for reasonable checkpoints. 

Emotionally, please enjoy every moment if you choose to bring learning into your path. When the learning culminates in your enlightenment, you will know nothing. So enjoy the journey, don't save anything for the destination.

 

[Truth]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@Truth "I'm just looking for some tips and maybe a little guidance in this process and maybe how others do self inquiry, how you started, how you progressed, Thanks."

 

If you want simple easy truth, learn biology and physics.

If you want to find balance in truth and mysticism (It sounds like this is more what you want) learn quantum mechanics.

Meditate every morning to absorb and expand your capacity. 

It's hard to go wrong with the eight fold path as a foundation.

A word of caution - always be cognizant of the difference between thinking, believing, knowing, experiencing and being. Your trancendance of each make for reasonable checkpoints. 

Emotionally, please enjoy every moment if you choose to bring learning into your path. When the learning culminates in your enlightenment, you will know nothing. So enjoy the journey, don't save anything for the destination.

 

I do want to dive more into biology, physics and quantum mechanics in my studies, that stuff is like intellectual candy to me.  but self mastery, life purpose and self actualization are my main focus.

I already meditate an hour everyday, bumped it up to an hour a day 2 months ago and haven't missed a day, overall been meditating for almost 2 years, only missing a day here and there. 

I've only just recently become truly conscious of the problem of human identity in the process of living up to my highest potential in life, already during this self inquiry process I've become conscious of these labels you describe, thinking, believing, knowing , etc. and my assumptions of them.

thanks for the input.

[Nahm]

*When I suggested those areas of study, I meant that they are your best path for self mastery, life purpose, and self actualization. Of course it's my opinion admittedly. 

[Truth]

6 hours ago, Nahm said:

*When I suggested those areas of study, I meant that they are your best path for self mastery, life purpose, and self actualization. Of course it's my opinion admittedly. 

Yeah I agree in the abstract big picture notion, but not in the concrete or pragmatic notion which is what I'm interested in and focused on in this thread.