How to respond to girls who are flaky

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Max_V said:

@Tyler Robinson Even if someone else behaves shitty, that doesn't mean you should let yourself fall to their level because they are doing it

@Max_V Agree except I don't think there's a difference in levels. I think everyone is on the same level.

However, if you respond to someone's abuse with your own abuse, you are still committing abuse and that is generally wrong.

[VictorB02]

If a girl isn't crazy about hanging out with you, why force it? I understand some girls are a little hard cause they are hit on so much, but if you attract them correctly, there shouldn't really be any flakiness, especially the first date. After the first, it may just be a bit of a test. But even then, why waste time on ANYONE that doesn't reflect back the same level of desire? Even friends. There is no point.

[Emrie]

Maybe hit 'em with a cheeky exit message like "Alright, on to the next girl. Not like I'm not getting 20 numbers a week".

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Nilsi said:

Badass. I always thought that is P. Diddy.

HAHAHAAH would be nice to have his money!!! LOL.

Man let me you, people treat you so different when you wear a fitted suit and some sun glasses. You go from being treated as an average Joe to some kind of celebrity. Makes me shake my head...I'm like....its some damn clothes. I can walk in a store like this and people give me their undivided attention. I walk back out and back in with a T-Shirt and some Jeans...they ignore me. 

This status thing we have in this world...makes no sense to me. NONE AT ALL. But hey gotta play the game sometimes if you want to get results.

[Tyler Robinson]

So flaking on guys is like abusing them. Am I missing something? 

I always thought rejecting a guy was much worse than flaking on him. 

I just can't reject a guy, it's hard to do that. So I just prefer to flake on him 

 

I guess those girls are probably using the same reasoning with them. 

You guys are hurt when a girl rejects you. You guys are hurt when a girl flakes on you. I don't see how a girl can win in this situation. Either way she is bad and hurtful, no matter what she does. 

Sad emoji. 

 

Edited September 6, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

So flaking on guys is like abusing them. Am I missing something? 

I always thought rejecting a guy was much worse than flaking on him. 

I just can't reject a guy, it's hard to do that. So I just prefer to flake on him 

 

I guess those girls are probably using the same reasoning with them. 

You guys are hurt when a girl rejects you. You guys are hurt when a girl flakes on you. I don't see how a girl can win in this situation. Either way she is bad and hurtful, no matter what she does. 

Sad emoji. 

 

When a woman hurts a man...she is training him to be stronger. So she is winning. Every man has to overcome this hurdle so consider it a rite of passage. You are helping make men strong lol.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Razard86 said:

When a woman hurts a man...she is training him to be stronger. So she is winning. Every man has to overcome this hurdle so consider it a rite of passage. You are helping make men strong lol.

I didn't know I was actually hurting a guy by flaking. It was just a polite way of saying no. I mean there's simply no way around it if you ask me. 

I wish I could say yes just to keep the guy's heart. But that would be inauthentic or would lead to an inauthentic relationship where my feelings don't exactly match his. Be with someone who you truly want and who truly wants you. 

[Jacob Morres]

How to respond to a girl that is flaky?

You don't 

 

(Don't take this too srs just shitposting) 

[aurum]

15 hours ago, something_else said:

Of course it still happens and I would like advice on whether I should continue to talk to girls who are flaky and hard to pin down or just move on to other girls.

People can flake for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with you.

In general though, people rarely flake when the perceived value of an offer is high enough. So continue to add more value into the situation.

This is part of my qualm with people who get dogmatically focused on “you are enough” and “dating is just about being yourself”. These are non-nuanced, simplistic truths about social dynamics.

It’s possible that the perceived value of what you are offering is just too low. In that case, people will flake quite a bit.

So instead of asking how to reduce flaking, instead ask “how do I make what I’m offering irresistible to those who will also value it?”

That second part is key because value is always, always relative. And so one person could see what you’re offering and think “wow this is so amazing, I will drop everything for this!” , while someone else will say “meh”. And they both will be right FOR THEM.

So an actual irresistible offer is impossible. There is no such thing that could exist to all people. Flaking still will occur. 

But it’s still a good head space to be in, provided you balance that with healthy inner beliefs about yourself and don’t fall into perfectionism.

[Tyler Robinson]

6 hours ago, Emrie said:

Maybe hit 'em with a cheeky exit message like "Alright, on to the next girl. Not like I'm not getting 20 numbers a week".

Never ever do this. The girl who flaked on you might develop feelings later. At some point she might think you were good sport for having taken her rejection politely and without fuss. 

She might ping you suddenly some day out of the blue and want to go on a date with you, this time finding you irresistible. 

By leaving that sort of a message to her, you kinda prove to her that she should never think about you again, it leaves a sour taste in her mouth, makes her feel like you're butthurt. 

Especially when you say "On to the next girl," she would think that it was good riddance since you never valued her anyway. Girls don't want to think that you like other girls, that's hurtful to female ego and a firm signal that the guy who makes them feel insecure or less than other women is a complete "reject material." 

She would never want to even think of you. 

In general, there are 2 possibilities here - 

1]   that she will completely block you feeling that you were trying to humiliate her by talking about liking or chasing other women. This is the most probable possibility. 

2]  if she is a woman with low self esteem, then she might feel a bit guilty for turning you Down and might not want to lose you to another woman and might actually agree to sex with you. This would look very manipulative, almost blackmailing her into sex. This, however, can only work if you are very irresistible to her (in which case she wouldn't have rejected you in the first place, to begin with) but this shtick can still work if she feels sorry for losing you, it's like getting her to like you using a guilt trap, the reverse of buyer's remorse. 

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[petar8p]

10 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

So flaking on guys is like abusing them. Am I missing something? 

I always thought rejecting a guy was much worse than flaking on him. 

I just can't reject a guy, it's hard to do that. So I just prefer to flake on him 

 

 

7 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I didn't know I was actually hurting a guy by flaking. It was just a polite way of saying no. I mean there's simply no way around it if you ask me. 

I would 10/10 times accept rejection rather than to deal with flakiness.

 

Rejection is straightforward, it means "You don't interest me." "I don't wanna go out with you."

 

Flake leaves this open possibility of there might be a reason that she didn't accept the date this time, let's try it again. 

 

I respect the women's courage to say no and I'm more grateful on it than a flake. It's more valuable and since I asked her out I'm ready for a no as well.

 

Men are rational beings and sometimes have trouble with more subtle cues women are trying to give..

 

Also this

7 hours ago, Razard86 said:

When a woman hurts a man...she is training him to be stronger. So she is winning. Every man has to overcome this hurdle so consider it a rite of passage. You are helping make men strong lol.

 

[Tortured Soul]

You don't