Working Through Superiority Complex, Judgement

[Devin]

How do you work through Superiority Complex?

I'm not degrading but I tend to think everyone is stupid, I don't tell people that, but it effects my view of life with others. I accept and love them, but people are a little boring to me. I feel like this is holding me back, any thoughts are appreciated.

Ironically, obviously by this thread, I do still know I can learn something from anyone.

[Carl-Richard]

I think a superiority complex can often occur as a way to compensate for something that you're lacking which is often quite obvious. For example, I didn't do well in high school (for a myriad of reasons), and I would develop a superiority complex around that which said: "actually, I'm really smart, if you just get to know me... my friends call me smart all the time... just wait, I'll show you".

[AtheisticNonduality]

Try to work out if you're genuinely superior or if you're deceiving yourself. Probably it's a mix, because the world is inferior compared to exceptional individuals, but you are perhaps hiding something (your conscious superiority is an unconscious inferiority). Or maybe you really are just "sick and tired" of all the nonsense of the world, so you frustration comes in the form of thinking "everyone is stupid."

[Devin]

@AtheisticNonduality @Carl-Richard

Yeah, I think it may be something subtle, I only think this way when someone is doing something for me and they don't do a good job or in new relationships sort of trying to determine wether they're someone I should spend much time around or not, but then I start the internal monologue about how everyone's stupid.

I don't actually think I'm really brilliant or anything, the way I usually figure things out is through hard work, I don't think it's a genius IQ thing, I'm not dumb either though, probably a little above average. I also usually don't try to show other people I'm smart, I don't tend to care what other people think either (I think they're stupid, so I don't tend to value other's opinions of myself) and most people seem to think I'm smart

I do have a lack of trust though, I get the feeling it could be related by more than me just not wanting to trust stupid people.

Edited September 6, 2022 by Devin

[gettoefl]

your superiority complex is your inability to communicate with those different to  you

notice i don't say those dumber than you

everyone has a ton to say and much to contribute to those with sensitivity curiosity intelligence

learn from everyone you encounter is the flex, those deemed unintelligent are often most eager to share and for me the ones from whom i learn most

the smarter you are the more you can extract nuggets from the commonplace and the everyman

this is the superior human

[Ulax]

I'd recommend IFS therapy, or Janina Fisher's work if you're rather dissociated.

If you are interested and would like some recommendations about how to get into it, then feel to free to ask and I'll give you some.

[Devin]

@gettoefl I think I would be considered good at communicating with them actually, I just lose the desire to be with them. I will say though I'm kind of over the learning phase, which from what you're saying may be a problem, I'm sort of over trying to figure most things out and like to generally just appreciate things.

[Devin]

@Ulax I've been studying IFS thanks to you and some others referring it, I think it might help with the judgment. I'll look into Fischer's work, thanks, I don't think im dissociated though, I feel a bit disconnected from people though, I feel alien more and more

Edited September 6, 2022 by Devin

[Ulax]

@Devin I think I understand. I also relate to your sense of disconnection.

Hope Fisher's work is of value to you.

[TheNovice]

 

30 minutes ago, Devin said:

I feel a bit disconnected from people though, I feel alien more and more

For me, my feeling of superiority is there in part to justify my disconnection from others.

 

[gettoefl]

47 minutes ago, Devin said:

@gettoefl I think I would be considered good at communicating with them actually, I just lose the desire to be with them. I will say though I'm kind of over the learning phase, which from what you're saying may be a problem, I'm sort of over trying to figure most things out and like to generally just appreciate things.

i see what you mean ... for me fellow humans are the most astonishing if most inscrutable creation, the only reason worth walking the earth

[Devin]

@TheNovice yeah similar here, Ithink it's a wedge between me and others. From what I've read the advice is to be aware of it and you will work at it like a muscle becoming less judgmental

[Devin]

@gettoefl I seem to be losing that, they're becoming more and more boring to me. I see other reasons to live though, thankfully

Edited September 6, 2022 by Devin

[TheNovice]

To me, the distancing or wedge is to protect hurt parts of me, so I can also work on those hurt parts to resolve my superiority.

Because then I would not need to distance myself and not need the part that is "superior" to justify it.

17 minutes ago, Devin said:

From what I've read the advice is to be aware of it and you will work at it like a muscle becoming less judgmental

^ this is true in my experience

[Devin]

18 minutes ago, TheNovice said:

To me, the distancing or wedge is to protect hurt parts of me, so I can also work on those hurt parts to resolve my superiority.

Because then I would not need to distance myself and not need the part that is "superior" to justify it.

^ this is true in my experience

Have any idea what I might need to work on?

[TheNovice]

@Devin

4 hours ago, Devin said:

Have any idea what I might need to work on?

No. 

Learning IFS is a good initiative tho. 

 

 

 

[Devin]

10 minutes ago, TheNovice said:

@Devin

No. 

Learning IFS is a good initiative tho. 

 

 

 

? Thanks