There is no one size fit all to BE in life.

[Razard86]

Life is all about balance, flow, if you study life long enough you will discover one day there is no ONE answer. Sometimes you need to be kind, sometimes you need to be stern. Sometimes you need to give second or third chances and sometimes you need to end that relationship. Sometimes you should keep trying, and sometimes you need to move on. 

Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 (some verses)
(New Living Translation)
For everything there is a season,
A time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

Basically in life you have to be able to read a situation and act accordingly. You cannot have a specific logical map on how to act because then you will inevitably take the wrong action. Sure you can have some generalities like I want to take the best action in ever situation. But then the question becomes what is the BEST action? Sometimes...NO ACTION is the best action. Sometimes just acting and not even thinking about something is the best action. Sometimes planning your move before you do it is the best action. You see? You could ponder this forever and never figure it out.

This is why the best way to be....is present and out of your head. Figure out what type of person you want to be in GENERAL. Don't form some hard identity, keep it loose. Then live, gain experience and over time you will have a grasp for the environment you are in and how things respond to you. Then make the necessary adjustments and go out again. 

Watch this video by Sadhguru it gives good advice. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx8BKV3wp0k&ab_channel=Sadhguru

This video by Leo goes well also. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGpYE-FZRhA&t=4317s&ab_channel=Actualized.org

Time to shake up your fixed perspective!!

Edited September 4, 2022 by Razard86

[Tyler Robinson]

I think you can always maintain a strict threshold. Allow things to unfold on their own and when a situation enters your threshold area, it's time to call it quits. 

Of course it's a matter of balance and perception.

 

[Breakingthewall]

there is one size: always integral. completely without exceptions. the rest does not matter

Edited September 4, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[AlterEgo]

Great post.  Black and white thinking never holds up in reality.

[Razard86]

8 hours ago, AlterEgo said:

Great post.  Black and white thinking never holds up in reality.

You got it, because black and white are one. It is never either or, its both. Reality is constantly shifting, and if you think its a certain way all the time you'll miss the shift.