I need your help with an idea for my business

[Farnaby]

Hi!

I'm currently trying to achieve financial stability in my business (I'm a therapist) and I have some ideas but I feel stuck and would appreaciate your input. 

I'd like to create a course/program that helps people with social anxiety because that's a topic I'm quite passionate about. What's holding me back is that I still struggle with social anxiety myself and although I know how to treat it I feel like an imposter. I'm aware that you don't need to have everything figured out before being able to help other people with a particular issue but there's this constant thought in the back of my mind that says: "they are going to notice that you are insecure as well. Why would they trust you to help them gain confidence?"

Do you think I should listen to this fear and choose a different topic?

Thank you  

[ZzzleepingBear]

I'd call it knowledge of direct experience on the matter. If you face your own anxiety and experiment with what  works for you, then you should have a more conscious knowledge on the matter as opposed to someone who are more into escaping their anxity through different means.

Any doubts could be seen as potential for further learning and room for nuanced understanding, rather than the opposite of ignorant confidence in a forceful way.

It takes one to know one as they say.

Good luck to you!

[r0ckyreed]

1 hour ago, Farnaby said:

What's holding me back is that I still struggle with social anxiety myself and although I know how to treat it I feel like an imposter. I'm aware that you don't need to have everything figured out before being able to help other people with a particular issue but there's this constant thought in the back of my mind that says: "they are going to notice that you are insecure as well. Why would they trust you to help them gain confidence?"

Do you think I should listen to this fear and choose a different topic?

Thank you  

Yes. Listen to it.

Overcome your fears first so you can be the example for others.

First learn how to swim first. Sinkers can’t teach other sinkers to become swimmers. As therapists, we focus so much on helping others that we forget to help ourselves. 

You will have more to offer from direct experience if you first learn to overcome.

 

I call BS that you know how to treat it and I am sure you know too which can be part of why you feel like an imposter. If you really knew how to treat it, you wouldn’t be suffering from it yourself. You may say you treat your clients, but your ego is taking credit for their accomplishment. Therapists aren’t wizards, we are mirrors.

You don’t need to have all the knowledge in the world to help, you are right. But the degree of your ability to help and serve others relates to your ability to self-reflect, self-knowledge, self-heal, etc. 

The issue is your so-called knowledge and treatments are theoretical and not based on your direct experiences, so it is natural for clients to question you. It’s like a person claiming to be Christian for reading the Bible but yet living nothing that resembles the teachings of Christ.

Good Luck.

Edited September 3, 2022 by r0ckyreed

[Farnaby]

1 hour ago, ZzzleepingBear said:

I'd call it knowledge of direct experience on the matter. If you face your own anxiety and experiment with what  works for you, then you should have a more conscious knowledge on the matter as opposed to someone who are more into escaping their anxity through different means.

Any doubts could be seen as potential for further learning and room for nuanced understanding, rather than the opposite of ignorant confidence in a forceful way.

It takes one to know one as they say.

Good luck to you!

Thank you. That's definitely true. I know exactly how it feels because I have experienced it so often. That helps me understand other people who suffer from it better.

Thanks for the encouragement!

57 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

Yes. Listen to it.

Overcome your fears first so you can be the example for others.

First learn how to swim first. Sinkers can’t teach other sinkers to become swimmers. As therapists, we focus so much on helping others that we forget to help ourselves. 

You will have more to offer from direct experience if you first learn to overcome.

 

I call BS that you know how to treat it and I am sure you know too which can be part of why you feel like an imposter. If you really knew how to treat it, you wouldn’t be suffering from it yourself. You may say you treat your clients, but your ego is taking credit for their accomplishment. Therapists aren’t wizards, we are mirrors.

You don’t need to have all the knowledge in the world to help, you are right. But the degree of your ability to help and serve others relates to your ability to self-reflect, self-knowledge, self-heal, etc. 

The issue is your so-called knowledge and treatments are theoretical and not based on your direct experiences, so it is natural for clients to question you. It’s like a person claiming to be Christian for reading the Bible but yet living nothing that resembles the teachings of Christ.

Good Luck.

Hard pill to swallow but you are probably right. I know the general process of overcoming social anxiety but I have been inconsistent when applying it myself. 

I'm socially functional (not the kind of person who avoids all social interactions and has no friends, etc.) and I often don't experience any anxiety whatsoever, but it tends to come back. Do you think that I have to be completely free of anxiety and never feel insecure socially to help other people? Not sure if that is actually possible  

Thanks for your feedback.

[r0ckyreed]

47 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

Do you think that I have to be completely free of anxiety and never feel insecure socially to help other people? Not sure if that is actually possible  

No. Have the right expectations. It is not about being free from fear/anxiety/insecurity, but rather using them to your benefit. Social courage is authentic action in social situations regardless how you may feel. Emotions are natural part of us. Embrace them and learn to not be controlled by them. 

You are going to naturally have anxiety with anything you care about deeply. The question is, are you going to let it control your behaviors and decisions? Trust the process. As you keep taking action, your anxiety will decrease over time and your confidence will increase.

It is hard to help others significantly if we, ourselves feel insignificant. It is even harder if we don’t practice what we “preach” to clients. That kind of dishonesty is seen through. I know you can feel it.

Your own story of how you have worked through overcome social anxiety can be a therapeutic self-disclosure. In a way, you get to connect more deeper with your audience having had their struggles. But if you haven’t faced them and gone to the other side, how are they going to trust you and be inspired by your “progress?”

It is almost like you making a course on how to become a millionaire with you not having a million dollars yourself.

Edited September 3, 2022 by r0ckyreed

[Farnaby]

@r0ckyreed yeah that makes sense. However, I have trouble understanding how it would look like when I reach that goal. 

Let's say I'm giving a speech to a group. How do I know that I have overcome social anxiety? When I can feel the anxiety but still say what I want to say instead of freezing or avoiding the situation?

It's also very contextual. Now that I'm putting myself out there more often, I feel more anxiety, but I wouldn't say I have more social anxiety now, it's just more present because I'm taking more action compared to when I used to avoid more. I guess I'm on the right track and just have to keep going and experimenting. 

[r0ckyreed]

That’s going to work differently for everyone.

Figure out what you really want out of your emotional life. Journal about it until you become crystal clear. Then, it takes discipline to follow your desires.

Desire + Discipline = Success

Good luck mate you can do it.

Edited September 3, 2022 by r0ckyreed