Awakening To Infinite Horrors

[King Merk]

I had an awakening experience in my dream last night.

It was horrifying.

It felt like a DMT trip but with torture.

I would live one torture experience such as having my back repeatedly broken by being stretched backwards over this wooden structure.

Then I would flash into a new scene of laying on a table having my limbs ripped off.

Then I was a disfigured fish like creature being eaten alive by some alien like predator.

Then I had various body parts hung from metal wires and was flown around for the entertainment of others. 

This went on for what felt like an infinity, each experience transitioning into the next like a fractal zoom. 

Over & over again I experienced the most painful of deaths.

It made me feel absolutely crazy.

I remember in the middle of one of my torture sessions having a piece of advice manifest in front of me in the form of an actualized.org forum text box.

The box said to not get lost in the bewilderment of the torture and rather to focus on the sensations of the experience.

Essentially, the advice was to develop more sensate clarity of the pain rather than running from it.

I did.

I started to feel into the torture.

Started to vipassanize every sensation I was aware of until eventually… 

I woke up.

I’ve never been so happy to live my egoic human life.

Never have I seen such beauty in the human experience. 

I woke up with a newfound sense of compassion for all life beings. Not just earthly life beings but the many, many other beings that are also experiencing deep suffering outside of our known universe.

I’m glad to be alive. 

Edited September 3, 2022 by King Merk

[Holykael]

God is awful. Existence a mistake.

[puporing]

I'm glad you're okay... that sounds like a lot all at once.

It's a bit paradoxical how waking up works.. on the one hand, you realize the unreality of things, which helps you out of/ease suffering. On the other hand, you realize the depth of "darkness" consciousness is capable of, in contrast with "light", and that it's relative depending on what you're contrasting with. The good news is consciousness is moving and leading itself toward the light. 

[Razard86]

5 hours ago, Holykael said:

God is awful. Existence a mistake.

 

4 hours ago, puporing said:

I'm glad you're okay... that sounds like a lot all at once.

It's a bit paradoxical how waking up works.. on the one hand, you realize the unreality of things, which helps you out of/ease suffering. On the other hand, you realize the depth of "darkness" consciousness is capable of, in contrast with "light", and that it's relative depending on what you're contrasting with. The good news is consciousness is moving and leading itself toward the light. 

You can't make this stuff up if you tried. 

Holykael= realize the depth of "darkness" consciousness is capable of.

puporing= consciousness is moving and leading itself toward the light.

We are witnessing that in this very thread. 

One wants everyone to realize the depth of darkness of consciousness =Holy Kael

And one wants to move and lead all discussions of consciousness towards the light. =puporing.

So cool, so funny, a beautiful mirror.