The Answer to Everything (and other various wisdom)

[TheAvatarState]

This. This right here. Is a note you are writing to yourself, in real-time, to remind yourself of something. These words cannot Awaken you to new knowledge or discoveries, because they are coming from you and your body of experience. They are only words which are completely relative and subjective to you. It is the perfect time to receive these words, for they are not being received--they are being given. You're imagining a different writing style from yours in order to maintain the illusion of an other-self writing these words to you. This illusion makes you feel cozy, so you want to continue the game. Why would you stop? Why would you possibly want to keep writing THIS nonsense? Why are you so eager to escape that you talk to yourself in 3rd person? Stop doing that!

You continue because you are looking for something. You always do. You are obsessed with condensing the purest of knowledge and wisdom into the smallest yet deepest bite-size chunks of symbols. You've imagined that as mankind's chief aim, ever-elusive. There must be a better way to share this knowledge with others! And what do I share? You've found it all but you keep searching. You can answer every question from within but you keep asking. You're sitting on a giant pile of gold and jewels, like the great dragon Smaug atop his hoard, but you realize that getting lost in its beauty is empty and meaningless. The little voice in your head that's proofreading and asking if this journal session is worthwhile or even stupid... I hear that voice too. It stops you from writing more on that tangent. 

What is Awakening? That's the question that brought you here. You're convinced you know, but you keep asking, don't you? There's always a seed of doubt that's rooted in duality and ego and mind, or something like that. You imagine others saying they 100% know and have stopped asking, because that's what you think you want, and it gives you something to hope for, doesn't it? But not. You. You have doubts and fears about many things, but especially about Awakening. You are awake enough to intuit that there's no one else to ask or trust. And logically, that should solve the riddle entirely. Yet you keep searching... You keep folding in on yourself, over and over, like an infinite sheet of paper. You think you're getting deeper but in reality you're going nowhere. You're like a toddler playing peekaboo in the mirror. Hoping to see someone different, you play this game for what feels like years. It's not only silly, it's completely psychotic. You try to observe this behavior from the outside, and see a neurotic, drug-addicted ape who loves yelling "HE HE HE HOO HOO," to himself in 3rd person (yes, monkey language has 3rd person).

Atop your hoard, you start to feel hungry and sad and lonely and longing. This bounty was only worth something in your village, you think to yourself. Up here in the stronghold inside the mountain, it might as well be guano. What did you forget? What metaphor can you use to describe it? It's like this, it's like that, but no, WHAT IS IT? GET TO THE ROOT, you say. OH MY GOD THAT'S A METAPHOR TOO, you write. Fold. Fold. Fold... A cute, polkadot origami sculpture of Purrsian cat sits before you. It reminds you of your childhood. You smile. Back then it was simple, sweet. Right now it's convoluted, haunting. 

What is Awakening? Let me tell you what I think it is. Awakening is working a retail job you hate for 8 years, suffering from mental illness, and hardly experiencing any joy or love for your entire adult life. It's wrestling with the idea that you ultimately put yourself here to experience this particular life, despite saying you'd never wish some of your experiences on your worst enemy. Awakening is punching out the clock, going home and reliving a slightly different version of the same day you've had for several years. Awakening is accepting that this is the movie you wanted to see. Are there worse movies out there? Having awakened, You laugh at such an untenable concept.

You laugh at the image of the ape. Then feel empty again. Submit topic. 

[Holykael]

My sorrow and pain have nowhere to go. I'm stuck inside myself forever. I wish I was different. I wish I was simple and wholesome so I could dream pleasant dreams only.

[Razard86]

Lol this was kind of funny. Two Thumbs up!!!

[Osaid]

thank you for the wisdom, me