Self Development Might Change Things

[spicy_pickles]

I'm in a rut. 

On one hand I see the world before me. I see opportunities to grow, to try new things, to discover and explore. I'm not talking about travelling the world or things of that nature. I just want to experience things in my own city, I want to evolve as a person. 

This will undoubtedly upset my partner who has seen me for who I am for 6 years now. 

The last time I tried to "branch" out he was insulted and claimed I did not want to be in a relationship because I enjoyed spending time alone. He's known this since day one, that I enjoy my alone time. Suddenly it's a problem. 

I feel like I'm not his partner yet a tool to be used at his calling. I'm good for this task, so I should stick around for that. I'm good for that task, so I should be available for him for that. No attempt whatsoever to strengthen this relationship, just a very stagnant partnership. 

Im ready to change who I am, what I do and how I react to things. This probably won't go over well. 

[Tuomas]

This is a tough one. I´ve been in a similar situation for quite a while. I had already done some personal development when i met my girlfriend a couple of years ago, but since that I´ve started to devote more of my time to it. Specially for the last five months. There has been resistance against some of my new habbits like getting myself of the tv or computer at 9pm without expections, working more on developing my skills, meditating, and adopting a much stricter sleep routine. I have explained why i do all these things and also explained that i will do them pretty much no matter what because i feel it is crucial for my personal development and getting ahead in life. Fortunately she has learned to respect that and understands why i feel like i must do all this so our relationship works despite me being a little bit different than i have been before. 

This might sound a bit harsh, but if you want to do something, grow and fulfill your dreams nobody has the right to stop you. Still there might be a good chance that he will accept your strive for growth and adapt to that if you do it in a way that still makes him feel secure and loved in the relationship so my suggestion would be to keep doing what you are doing for a while more and see how things escalate. 

 

[Nahm]

On 2/13/2017 at 7:07 AM, spicy_pickles said:

I'm in a rut. 

On one hand I see the world before me. I see opportunities to grow, to try new things, to discover and explore. I'm not talking about travelling the world or things of that nature. I just want to experience things in my own city, I want to evolve as a person. 

This will undoubtedly upset my partner who has seen me for who I am for 6 years now. 

The last time I tried to "branch" out he was insulted and claimed I did not want to be in a relationship because I enjoyed spending time alone. He's known this since day one, that I enjoy my alone time. Suddenly it's a problem. 

I feel like I'm not his partner yet a tool to be used at his calling. I'm good for this task, so I should stick around for that. I'm good for that task, so I should be available for him for that. No attempt whatsoever to strengthen this relationship, just a very stagnant partnership. 

Im ready to change who I am, what I do and how I react to things. This probably won't go over well. 

Though there may be some tougher times in your immediate future, I predict, that FOR YOU, this is going to go over very well in the long run. Good luck. I know it is not easy at all.