How to make socializing fun?

[Molaric]

I find myself often getting bored in conversations and talking about my life, especially when I end up talking to multiple people over a course of a day and I end up talking about the same thing over and over. I'm practicing saying what comes to my mind and I have done better with it, but I have found myself just repeating the things I talk about and end up ending the conversation early most of the time cause I get bored. I also kind of struggle with just remembering things about my past even though I have done great things and could've been great conversational points and pivots, but without it the convo gets dry fast and ends up being small talk for extended periods. I'm reading mastery and the book says to enjoy the process and moment but I can't seem to find the joy in this process of being better socially. I just don't get the fun of it, the process of doing it just seems so mindless and I usually like to do things that involve thinking/planning but this is a skill that just throws it out the window so it kind of rattles me (nothing wrong with that, I appreciate that getting better at this skill means accessing the non-logical part of my mind). I have gotten a lot better then I had in the past but this process just feels bland to me, are there any ways that the people on this forum find the joy in it that I haven't thought of? I will get better at this skill, I just need some way of making the process more bearable so I won't burn out or something .

I'm thinking if this issue is because of my withdraws from my addictions making life boring compared to my addiction or just because I'm relatively new to this skill, or both.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaAyLjGYc8c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwMeuYFfyWk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCOCAZGjvJk

 

[thisintegrated]

Umm, alcohol?

 

But basically you just need to become interested in other people.  In other perspectives.  In discovery.

Other people are interesting because they are different.  You need to start enjoying unfamiliarity and that which is new.  Then you'll automatically have questions for them, and conversations will flow effortlessly.

Edited August 31, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Ulax]

Could try out some loving-kindness meditation.

Also, personally I enjoy it more when I disagree with people. I'll say, 'I disagree'.

Adds an element of healthy challenge to the conversation

[NoSelfSelf]

By socializing with people who have substance.

Average people are on the surface and you cant expect much from them(so just see them for what they are and see its not compatible) but sometimes you get surprised..

If you can have fun with yourself with those people then you are on the great path...

[Spiral]

Personally I prefer to listen. When someone asks me a question I often reply in a none serious way. They probably don’t care what city I’m from so I might as well joke about it. 

Also some questions are more fun than others. Peoples opinions and feeling are in my opinion more fun than logical facts.

These are some things that feel make conservation more fun.

PS: I struggled way too much to write that. Got a mew phone.

Edited September 1, 2022 by Spiral

[Molaric]

8 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

By socializing with people who have substance.

Average people are on the surface and you cant expect much from them(so just see them for what they are and see its not compatible) but sometimes you get surprised..

If you can have fun with yourself with those people then you are on the great path...

I don't have really high expectations for people I talk to, I just want a way to not fall asleep in interactions. I'll find more interesting people here and there, that's not really a concern I generally know where to look.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Molaric whats the point of your thread queastion then ?

[Molaric]

27 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Molaric whats the point of your thread queastion then ?

I want to talk to the other 99% of people and have fun with it ?

[Vercingetorix]

ask about what you're really curious and interested about

[Molaric]

Also this is a me not having fun issue not much of a person being boring issue

[Realms of Wonder]

19 hours ago, Molaric said:

I find myself often getting bored in conversations and talking about my life, especially when I end up talking to multiple people over a course of a day and I end up talking about the same thing over and over. I'm practicing saying what comes to my mind and I have done better with it, but I have found myself just repeating the things I talk about and end up ending the conversation early most of the time cause I get bored. I also kind of struggle with just remembering things about my past even though I have done great things and could've been great conversational points and pivots, but without it the convo gets dry fast and ends up being small talk for extended periods. I'm reading mastery and the book says to enjoy the process and moment but I can't seem to find the joy in this process of being better socially. I just don't get the fun of it, the process of doing it just seems so mindless and I usually like to do things that involve thinking/planning but this is a skill that just throws it out the window so it kind of rattles me (nothing wrong with that, I appreciate that getting better at this skill means accessing the non-logical part of my mind). I have gotten a lot better then I had in the past but this process just feels bland to me, are there any ways that the people on this forum find the joy in it that I haven't thought of? I will get better at this skill, I just need some way of making the process more bearable so I won't burn out or something .

I'm thinking if this issue is because of my withdraws from my addictions making life boring compared to my addiction or just because I'm relatively new to this skill, or both.

What about socializing, connecting, and conversation, can you get excited about?

[Molaric]

25 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

What about socializing, connecting, and conversation, can you get excited about?

For me it's learning about others and their lives, I personally don't have anything I'm excited about as all my skills/hobbies I'm developing right now aren't very fun to do or something I would enjoy talking about.