God realization (without using psychedelics)

[Jaccobtw]

So I just had a God realization, but to be honest I kinda forget how I got here so I'm gonna explain what I remember. I believe I was laying down on my bed playing some of my favorite childhood music and watching some youtube videos by The Alchemist. Then I put my hand over my heart and began mediating on it while contemplating a previous relationship I had - a sort of shadow work process. I went to work the next day as an Amazon Delivery driver putting smiles on peoples faces and I'm pretty sure I began staring at the sun on and off throughout the day which honestly energized my body and made me feel insanely powerful  and confident. When I was done with work I came back home and meditated and layed down so I could recover from work and I was thinking some of the most fanatical thoughts ever like I am the creator my reality and must take complete responsibility for what I create. I had a similar day the next day at work: very positive and making lots of people smile. But then when I worked by second job that day at night many people seemed to be horrified by my presence. I looked in the mirror and it seemed that I had a massive ego - an arrogant know it all, overly confident looking person. I was working in a warehouse passing people by and I could see the horror in their eyes. It is quite possible I was demonic/selfish looking. Anyway through this whole time I had a ton of energy working a 10 hour shift on Friday and then a combined 14 hours on Saturday between both jobs and I was barely getting any sleep throughout this time because I had so much energy. So I woke up sunday morning and began meditating/contemplating thinking some of the wildest thoughts like "I can do anything I want, but It would take several lifetimes to fulfill it all," My mind kept emphasizing the importance of responsibility throughout this. I wish I could describe more but I've honestly forgotten a lot that has happened but eventually the thought "I'm God" came to me and tears just started coming down my face which happened a few more times throughout Sunday where I was at church listening to the music and yes more and more tears. I also had a few oneness experiences throughout this time where my mind was like "I am whole and undivided" but I don' think it was quite as powerful as the God realization.  Expressing kindness and love was very easy in this state but also I got the feeling I was coming off as highly egotistical to some people as well. I think I heard a spiritual teacher say oneness is source's biggest ego. In this sate I was getting a ton of visions about what I wanted to do with my life and my struggle but after it ended it ended and left me questioning how real was the incredible experience I had over the past few days. So I guess it was a peak experience type of thing not enlightenment.

[Razard86]

7 hours ago, Jaccobtw said:

So I just had a God realization, but to be honest I kinda forget how I got here so I'm gonna explain what I remember. I believe I was laying down on my bed playing some of my favorite childhood music and watching some youtube videos by The Alchemist. Then I put my hand over my heart and began mediating on it while contemplating a previous relationship I had - a sort of shadow work process. I went to work the next day as an Amazon Delivery driver putting smiles on peoples faces and I'm pretty sure I began staring at the sun on and off throughout the day which honestly energized my body and made me feel insanely powerful  and confident. When I was done with work I came back home and meditated and layed down so I could recover from work and I was thinking some of the most fanatical thoughts ever like I am the creator my reality and must take complete responsibility for what I create. I had a similar day the next day at work: very positive and making lots of people smile. But then when I worked by second job that day at night many people seemed to be horrified by my presence. I looked in the mirror and it seemed that I had a massive ego - an arrogant know it all, overly confident looking person. I was working in a warehouse passing people by and I could see the horror in their eyes. It is quite possible I was demonic/selfish looking. Anyway through this whole time I had a ton of energy working a 10 hour shift on Friday and then a combined 14 hours on Saturday between both jobs and I was barely getting any sleep throughout this time because I had so much energy. So I woke up sunday morning and began meditating/contemplating thinking some of the wildest thoughts like "I can do anything I want, but It would take several lifetimes to fulfill it all," My mind kept emphasizing the importance of responsibility throughout this. I wish I could describe more but I've honestly forgotten a lot that has happened but eventually the thought "I'm God" came to me and tears just started coming down my face which happened a few more times throughout Sunday where I was at church listening to the music and yes more and more tears. I also had a few oneness experiences throughout this time where my mind was like "I am whole and undivided" but I don' think it was quite as powerful as the God realization.  Expressing kindness and love was very easy in this state but also I got the feeling I was coming off as highly egotistical to some people as well. I think I heard a spiritual teacher say oneness is source's biggest ego. In this sate I was getting a ton of visions about what I wanted to do with my life and my struggle but after it ended it ended and left me questioning how real was the incredible experience I had over the past few days. So I guess it was a peak experience type of thing not enlightenment.

Sounds good to me. Yeah the biggest ego is Universal Ego or Universal Self but to reach that you need to recognize all egos as you. This is why many spiritual pursuers get lost. They create a separation of ego not realizing that everything is ego. Ego is creation itself, ego=self. When we say you are not the ego that is a tool, to discover that you are that which creates ego, and thus since you are the creator, every ego/creation is YOU. 

This can be pointed to by a ridiculous number of pointers. You laugh, you cry, you get tired, you have energy, that is all ego. You cannot experience all of that without ego. God is infinite potentiality, the ego is the expression of that potentiality. So don't fall into the trap of demonizing ego, you cannot have a life without ego. Its just your ego...is me, and my ego is you. You are me and I am you.  

[Consilience]

10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Ego is creation itself, ego=self. When we say you are not the ego that is a tool, to discover that you are that which creates ego, and thus since you are the creator, every ego/creation is YOU. 

This is true until one sees even the nature of the ego is illusion. Calling you a YOU is more ego, more illusion. One of the deeper traps of this work is self clinging, self fixation on the self, which is not it. Probably one of the deeper collective traps on this forum is the clinging to God as the Self.

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Consilience said:

is the clinging to God as the Self.

Yeah I get what you mean, they believe that God= the human them which in a sense is true, but then they interpret that as the human me is God and everything else is other. I've even had people say on the forums that when they look at the flower there is only the flower, no observer of the flower. Then say oh its impossible.

First if there was no observer there would be no flower. There is an observer of the flower. The issue is the observer of the flower....is the flower itself. Now when the observer of the flower...which is the flower, grasps the flower...it grasps itself. The problem is...the true nature of that which grasps the flower is not the flower or that which grasps it, it is that which imagines a flower and a grasper. But that imagination is so powerful and so total, that it is real. 

So is there a grasper? Yes and no because the grasper is imaginary and so is the flower. There is no grasper and there is no flower because to make a distinction between either is a falsity they are the same, even to say "they" is wrong there is just awareness, being. 

So reality is BOTH real and imaginary and this is the power of God. The problem is....you can only realize this, when you drop all distinctions and biases. When you have a strong desire to know the truth. This knowledge and understanding is then gifted to you, bestowed upon you not because of any works, but because of your intention, desire, to be ONE again. 

[Consilience]

@Razard86 Really nice description. I honestly don’t have anything to add other than what you wrote resonates and thank you for taking the time to share this.

[Razard86]

30 minutes ago, Consilience said:

@Razard86 Really nice description. I honestly don’t have anything to add other than what you wrote resonates and thank you for taking the time to share this.

Thank you for your kind words and your time as well.