Being In A Relationship Vs One Night Stands?

[electroBeam]

About a month or so ago I had 0 relationship experience, so I decided to get off my ass and do something about it. I found this girl at university while doing cold approach, we've been dating for a month or so, everything is going well, its looking very much like a potential relationship.

While this girl is the cutest girl ive ever seen, and I sure do want to be in a relationship with her, the primary reason why I got off my ass in the first place was to gain experience in dating girls, and to become a pickup god. If I decide to keep being in this relationship, obviously you can see that I can't hone in on my pickup skills.

I'm not sure if I should continue the relationship, and just get into pickup if we break up, or if I should reject the relationship now before I get too attached, and just focus on doing one night stands to hone my skills my like the next 5 years before going into a relationship. I want to be able to attract any girl I want, so that im not stuck in the future looking for dates.

What have you guys found to be the most effective thing to do? Its just my luck that the first girl I decide to date has to be really attractive and nice 

[sweater]

41 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

I want to be able to attract any girl I want

 

Probably might be better to stick to cold approaches if you want that. But than again why not do both lol. 
I think you should check out RSD Tyler he sort of talks about this in some of his videos. 
I also think you should do a pros and cons before making a decision.
Follow what your intuition tells you. 

[Markus]

I think it's pretty obvious that

a) pickup is much better for learning how to attract women
b) a relationship is much better for learning how to have sex & sustain a relationship

So what do you want? Answer that for yourself.

[Galyna]

On 2/12/2017 at 4:24 PM, electroBeam said:

About a month or so ago I had 0 relationship experience, so I decided to get off my ass and do something about it. I found this girl at university while doing cold approach, we've been dating for a month or so, everything is going well, its looking very much like a potential relationship.

While this girl is the cutest girl ive ever seen, and I sure do want to be in a relationship with her, the primary reason why I got off my ass in the first place was to gain experience in dating girls, and to become a pickup god. If I decide to keep being in this relationship, obviously you can see that I can't hone in on my pickup skills.

I'm not sure if I should continue the relationship, and just get into pickup if we break up, or if I should reject the relationship now before I get too attached, and just focus on doing one night stands to hone my skills my like the next 5 years before going into a relationship. I want to be able to attract any girl I want, so that im not stuck in the future looking for dates.

What have you guys found to be the most effective thing to do? Its just my luck that the first girl I decide to date has to be really attractive and nice 

I guess the ultimate question is there to ask yourself is what would it give you if you become a pick up King? Why do you need to acquire this skill in the first place? Is it your authentic desire or you want to be cool and develop self-confidence with women? Imho, there is not a right answer to this question, firstly because any path you choose is going to be your unique experience which is tailored for you. Will you be ultimately happy? It is just a skill and no woman will fulfill you to the point where you are a successful person. I agree, variety will give you the flavor of what you need, but if you feel that currently staying with that nice girl is not a bad thing and you enjoy it, why forcing the events, just wait and see what will happen. If one day relations are going to cease you will leave it with a piece of mind.  

Personally, when I am forced to make a choice and I do not really know, I do not make any choices, I just observe, believe or not thing will arrange without your input in the best way possible for you. 

Edited February 20, 2017 by Galyna

[Loreena]

I agree with what @Galyna has to say here. no woman will fulfill you to the point where you are a successful person. Ultimately you need to decide between the two - whether you want to attract women or you just want to stay in a relationship. If you feel you want to learn more and then probably attract the most perfect girl you want, you could go the pickup way but how will you decide if she is best for you even then, because there will always be someone more attractive than her. It might turn into some sort of chase game getting you little frustrated in the end. The question here really is - What do you really want, not how you want it ? You need to be very upfront about it and ask yourself - what you really want. If you are vague or if you dilly-dally for too long, you are losing your precious time of youth achieving neither of the two. If being in a strong stable relationship gives you fulfillment, then you should wait for it or be in it and let it take its own course naturally. You are not sure just yet if going the pickup way will fulfill you in the long run. What if it turns out to be a waste of time ? By the way, being in a relationship also helps you to learn a lot about how to sustain it and you get to understand the nature of the opposite sex really well. In the end, every strategy has its own payoff.

[Loreena]

One  thing is crystal clear -  one night stand will only help you in attracting women initially. But a relationship will teach you a lot about how to keep it and sustain it. Practice makes man perfect. Even if this relationship turned sour, you will have learned something valuable out of it that can help you in future in keeping your marriage strong when you ultimately decide to marry and settle.

[Shin]

On 12/02/2017 at 11:24 PM, electroBeam said:

we've been dating for a month or so, everything is going well, its looking very much like a potential relationship.

 

What are you waiting for ?

 

Quote

the primary reason why I got off my ass in the first place was to gain experience in dating girls, and to become a pickup god.

Why ?

[clytaemnestra]

On 2/12/2017 at 11:24 PM, electroBeam said:

become a pickup god

To me it sounds like you have a lot of insecurities, so you want women's attention to fulfill the holes in your life.

[jse]

 

On 13/02/2017 at 5:24 AM, electroBeam said:

Being In A Relationship Vs One Night Stands?

 

[electroBeam]

14 hours ago, Shin said:

What are you waiting for ?

Why ?

In Leo's video about advice for college students, he encouraged us to get into dating so you know what's out there. He said that some people in highschool get lucky and find a girl in year 8, then 15 years later break up, and is left completely clueless about the dating world. That's not what we want to end up being... Being in a relationship without pickup experience will make you that though.

12 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

To me it sounds like you have a lot of insecurities, so you want women's attention to fulfill the holes in your life.

Insecurities like these are fuelled by man/woman's natural tendencies to want to be in a relationship in the first place. 

[Toby]

Actually, the ego can show up both ways:
- clinginess, attachment, fear to be alone: need for relationship
- fear of commitment, intimacy and relationship: wanting to be "free" and jump from one partner to the other
Just because you like the second idea better and get support for this idea from most men (especially your pickup friends) doesn't mean it isn't fueled by fear.

[electroBeam]

17 minutes ago, Toby said:

Actually, the ego can show up both ways:
- clinginess, attachment, fear to be alone: need for relationship
- fear of commitment, intimacy and relationship: wanting to be "free" and jump from one partner to the other
Just because you like the second idea better and get support for this idea from most men (especially your pickup friends) doesn't mean it isn't fueled by fear.

If people didn't want a relationship organically, there would be no reason to fear not being in one. I'm not insecure about not playing tennis, because I naturally don't want to. 

[Martin123]

@electroBeam Dig into the emotion behind your dilemma. You are running away from something, fear of loneliness or abandonment or something like that. Transmute this emotion and your decision will become clear.

[Life Coach]

One night stands all the way. Make sure you always end up at her place and she never finds out where you live, or your actual real name. Leave before she wakes up in the morning.

[Shin]

40 minutes ago, Life Coach said:

One night stands all the way. Make sure you always end up at her place and she never finds out where you live, or your actual real name. Leave before she wakes up in the morning.

Yep,

And don't forget to bury the corpse and to wash your penis.

Edited February 21, 2017 by Shin

[Martin123]

21 hours ago, Life Coach said:

One night stands all the way. Make sure you always end up at her place and she never finds out where you live, or your actual real name. Leave before she wakes up in the morning.

Oo yeah do this. That sounds so much more fun than the emotion crap I mentioned earlier.

[clytaemnestra]

58 minutes ago, Snick said:

But from what I've heard sex is not that nice that everyone say it is. So I probably not missing out on anything... 

You can always use left hand if you like variation. No need to complicate things! 

[Shin]

2 hours ago, Snick said:

Sounds like the best piece of advice spirituality wise! 

Hard for me to tell though! Since I am a virgin! But I was very close to get rid of it one time! VERY CLOSE! But then I thought the smell was somewhat odd and choose not to continue..  I am a bit sceptical and suspicious to my nature...

But from what I've heard sex is not that nice that everyone say it is. So I probably not missing out on anything... 

You can always use left hand if you like variation. No need to complicate things! 

One night stand sex can sucks big time.

Sex in a long-term relationship when both partner are willing to master this component ?

Except deep non-duality experiences and living your life purpose, there is nothing else that match that.

Don't miss that experience, sure you don't need it, but at least taste it once, it's really fucking cool to make scream your girlfriend so much that the neighbors call the cops !
 

Quote

 

Sex is not only a penetration. Period.

Sex is kissing with your partner, massaging each other bodies and relaxing each other from all tensions and worries; sex is touching a partner gently and enjoying being touched; sex is stimulating your sensitive zones with your fingers, fingertips, tongue, lips, body; sex is talking to each other and feeling emotionally connected; sex is penetration; sex is cuddling after you both reach an orgasm and sleeping naked and hugged.

Can you do all of this with your arm? I don't deny that penetration feels good, but it's not all about in-out-in-out and done. 

 

No one said that.

EDIT: oupsy, yes he did, nevermind.

Edited February 25, 2017 by Shin

[clytaemnestra]

Sex is not only a penetration. Period.

Sex is kissing with your partner, massaging each other bodies and relaxing each other from all tensions and worries; sex is touching a partner gently and enjoying being touched; sex is stimulating your sensitive zones with your fingers, fingertips, tongue, lips, body; sex is talking to each other and feeling emotionally connected; sex is penetration; sex is cuddling after you both reach an orgasm and sleeping naked and hugged.

Can you do all of this with your arm? I don't deny that penetration feels good, but it's not all about in-out-in-out and done. 

[jse]

1 hour ago, clytaemnestra said:

Sex is not only a penetration. Period.