What should an ideal life look like?

[Consept]

@Someone here

I think your mind maybe looking for rationalisations to keep you in that comfort zone. I know what youre saying in that it can be a lot less hassle just to go to a website and jack it to horny looking girls, but I also think you completely miss out on life, esp such an interesting part. Even if you just use it as motivator to improve yourself which will also make you more attractive to women, I think this can also be a very useful thing. 

Also you can have whatever relationships you want, they can be casual all the way up to potential marriage there's no rules in that sense. I can tell you real sex with someone you care about is 100x better than any porn you can find, but whether you get it or not the journey I worth while. 

I actually stopped watching porn a couple months ago, although I still sort myself out every now and then but without it, but you can definitely notice a difference because you're taking away that safety net of, I've always got porn. 

[Gabith]

Dancing with life whatever will happens & not resisting it or wanting it to be different 

[Someone here]

@Consept

I do choose porn over the real thing .and I have my justifications:

Who says I even  have a choice ? How many of those who “consume porn” actually have the option of having sex with a real person instead ?

Some people may, in fact, prefer porn rather than going to all the trouble of getting into a sexual relationship. Because .. the absolutely “least trouble” one would have to go through in order to have sex with a real person is to co-ordinate schedules and find a place that is mutually acceptable. One might also be required to engage in a long term relationship ( not everyone is turned on by the “zipless fuck” ). There might be an exchange of money required ... if not directly ( prostitution ) then indirectly - paying for movie & a meal.

58 minutes ago, Consept said:

Also you can have whatever relationships you want, they can be casual all the way up to potential marriage.

Marriage?  No fucking way .I know I'm never going to marry a single person .because I like diversity. And that's one of the reasons why porn wins sex here ..is you can have (although virtual or fake ) sex with endless diversity of women.

1 hour ago, Consept said:

I can tell you real sex with someone you care about is 100x better than any porn you can find, but whether you get it or not the journey I worth while. 

I guess its just a different experience. I don't know If it's better or worse. Its something I have to experience first in order to make my mind about. 

 

[UnbornTao]

By following ideals, you're setting yourself up for misery.

[Devin]

22 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

By following ideals, you're setting yourself up for misery.

Do you not think you can be accepting of life as it comes while also pursuing a life you would like to live?

[BlessedLion]

Porn literally crumbles your soul and mind slowly day by day. It’s a slow burn. I’ve been trying to beat porn addiction for 7 years and finally stopped. I still fall back but when I relapse it’s to YouTube videos so much softer than the beast that’s pornhub 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

Porn literally crumbles your soul and mind slowly day by day. It’s a slow burn. I’ve been trying to beat porn addiction for 7 years and finally stopped. I still fall back but when I relapse it’s to YouTube videos so much softer than the beast that’s pornhub 

[UnbornTao]

On 8/29/2022 at 6:06 PM, Devin said:

Do you not think you can be accepting of life as it comes while also pursuing a life you would like to live?

You can be happy with life and content with who you are while also setting up and pursuing goals for yourself. 

Ideals, on the other hand, are a constant pain generator, since your current experience doesn't, and will never match, the ideal and imagined pleasure it will supposedly bring. Ideals are by definition not possible to accomplish.

They're not grounded on reality, and are disempowering in various ways, as mentioned above.

Goals and purpose vs ideals and fantasies.

Edited August 31, 2022 by UnbornTao

[Tyler Robinson]

54 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Ideals, on the other hand, are a constant pain generator, since your current experience doesn't, and will never match, the ideal and imagined pleasure it will cause. Ideals are by definition not possible to accomplish.

They're not grounded on reality, and are disempowering in various ways, as mentioned above.

Goals and purpose vs ideals and fantasies.

But ideals and fantasies serve as an inspiration for real life goals.  You could aspire to be like Einstein although since Einstein is not living anymore, you could still use him as an inspiration. 

 

[UnbornTao]

40 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

But ideals and fantasies serve as an inspiration for real life goals.  You could aspire to be like Einstein although since Einstein is not living anymore, you could still use him as an inspiration. 

 

Ideal: "conceived as perfect; existing only in idea."

You're confusing being inspired with following ideals (a fool's errand). Ideals are a detriment, and unnecessary. 

Yes, following role models is fine. That's not following ideals.

Goals are grounded on actual possibilities.

An ideal might be holding an image that one day you'll finally be transformed, whole, loving, complete, etc. by doing such and such.

The content itself is secondary. The point is that ideals are the cheese you're running after. The cheese is there not for you to catch it but to keep you running after it.

You want to be superman or superwoman and see that you can't do it, that you still get angry, are jealous, get tired, can't fly, etc. 

So you suffer.

It's best to get clear on what you want, and establish goals towards reaching that. When you're actually committed, intent on getting something done, all else is rather irrelevant, even motivation. 

Edited August 31, 2022 by UnbornTao

[Devin]

1 hour ago, UnbornTao said:

Ideal: "conceived as perfect; existing only in idea."

You're confusing being inspired with following ideals (a fool's errand). Ideals are a detriment, and unnecessary. 

Yes, following role models is fine. That's not following ideals.

Goals are grounded on actual possibilities.

An ideal might be holding an image that one day you'll finally be transformed, whole, loving, complete, etc. by doing such and such.

The content itself is secondary. The point is that ideals are the cheese you're running after. The cheese is there not for you to catch it but to keep you running after it.

You want to be superman or superwoman and see that you can't do it, that you still get angry, are jealous, get tired, can't fly, etc. 

So you suffer.

It's best to get clear on what you want, and establish goals towards reaching that. When you're actually committed, intent on getting something done, all else is rather irrelevant, even motivation. 

So what do you call a life you work to have that you think is reasonable expectation, apparently not ideal, what would you title the thread?

[UnbornTao]

17 minutes ago, Devin said:

So what do you call a life you work to have that you think is reasonable expectation, apparently not ideal, what would you title the thread?

I wouldn't have started it in the first place.

"Should" implies it is coming from a value system, usually from society and others. 

How to live is a matter of preference. People live the way they live until they die, regardless of the preconceptions they hold about how one should go about living it. There's no "right" way life should be conducted.

Perhaps, since it has a similar focus, but with a more real and profound approach, a thread could be opened called Principles for Life.

[Devin]

40 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

I wouldn't have started it in the first place.

"Should" implies it is coming from a value system, usually from society and others. 

How to live is a matter of preference. People live the way they live until they die, regardless of the preconceptions they hold about how one should go about living it. There's no "right" way life should be conducted.

Perhaps, since it has a similar focus, but with a more real and profound approach, a thread could be opened called Principles for Life.

I think she's asking about desirable options as to what life to pursue, something achievable, I don't think she's asking for unachievable options

What about " Desirable Life Options", see any issue with that?

[UnbornTao]

20 hours ago, Devin said:

I think she's asking about desirable options as to what life to pursue, something achievable, I don't think she's asking for unachievable options

Then I would word it differently, as that's asking different things.

20 hours ago, Devin said:

What about " Desirable Life Options", see any issue with that?

That's great.

But I think it's up to each individual to decide. In the end, you'll live however you want to.

Edited September 1, 2022 by UnbornTao

[Deadpixel]

There is no “ideal life” outside of your own idea of it. Do whatever you want to do, being an individual is the entire point of life.