What experiences do woman/men need to appreciate a quality partner?

[integral]

I'm getting the impression that before the age of 30 woman and men lack the experience to appreciate or value what they have in a partner. There playing a different game, priorities are different, they are trying to fulfill self esteem needs or sex. 

How do I differentiate what the person is actually in the relationship for? 

What value do i have to bring to a partners life to keep them around for the long term?

It doesn't matter how valuable you are, in many cases a woman will simply change how they feel about you over time and leave. Why? Why don't people appreciate what they have long term and instead choose to focus on a fleeting fickle feeling? 

Edited August 24, 2022 by integral

[Tyler Robinson]

What do you think a relationship is for? 

What do you get out of it? 

[Razard86]

12 minutes ago, integral said:

I'm getting the impression that before the age of 30 woman and men lack the experience to appreciate or value what they have in a partner. There playing a different game, priorities are different, they are trying to fulfill self esteem needs or sex. 

How do I differentiate what the person is actually in the relationship for? 

What value do i have to bring to a partners life to keep them around for the long term?

It doesn't matter how valuable you are, in many cases a woman will simply change how they feel about you over time and leave. Why? Why don't people appreciate what they have long term and instead choose to focus on a fleeting fickle feeling? 

Have you ever shown appreciation for oxygen? Have you ever in your life said I LOVE OXYGEN!!! Think deeply about this question. Because it answers your own question.

[integral]

13 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

What do you think a relationship is for? 

What do you get out of it? 

1. A partner who I can provide for and loves me for that. I enjoy giving and being needed. The more needing someone is of me the better, I feel love by being needed it seems.
2. Romance that I'm able to satisfy a partner, the act of satisfying a partner gives me satisfaction and that's all i care about. I get nothing from self-gratification. I get everything from having an experience that brings us closer together and creates a deeper connection. I don't even care about sex its about how they look at me afterwards and feel about me and love me.
3. I enjoy the experience that comes with a partner who is a feminine woman, feminine energy. Quality time and physical touch as a love language. Physical touch is a strong addiction.
4. ...

[integral]

26 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Have you ever shown appreciation for oxygen? Have you ever in your life said I LOVE OXYGEN!!! Think deeply about this question. Because it answers your own question.

Ah yesss the trick is to deprive them of oxygen.  

So what keeps people in a relationship long-term when they take everything you give them for granted over time?

Edited August 24, 2022 by integral

[Devin]

5 hours ago, integral said:

I'm getting the impression that before the age of 30 woman and men lack the experience to appreciate or value what they have in a partner. There playing a different game, priorities are different, they are trying to fulfill self esteem needs or sex. 

How do I differentiate what the person is actually in the relationship for? 

What value do i have to bring to a partners life to keep them around for the long term?

It doesn't matter how valuable you are, in many cases a woman will simply change how they feel about you over time and leave. Why? Why don't people appreciate what they have long term and instead choose to focus on a fleeting fickle feeling? 

I agree with around 30. Unless it's a very traditional couple

I think you can tell by how they treat you, are they inconsiderate sometimes? Or do they do things for you without you even asking. Do they use you?

All you should need to give is love, otherwise they don't actually care about YOU, they just care about THEIR significant other. But if you only care about having a typical objectifying type relationship all you have to do is be a non abusive provider

They're scared of something, it often has nothing to do with you, it's them. They would've told you why they left if they were worth worrying about why they left, women don't tend to think long term ever really also

Edited August 25, 2022 by Devin

[Ulax]

You want both partners to have a secure attachment style, imo

[Yarco]

Try to figure out their love language (Words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service) and give them that. Or explicitly ask them what they want, and what makes them happy and fulfilled in a long-term relationship.

Also figure out what your own love language is, and ask them to give you that in return.

If they lack experience, then yeah, their needs and wants may change over time. So make sure to check in and re-evaluate what both people want from the relationship.

Quote

Why don't people appreciate what they have long term and instead choose to focus on a fleeting fickle feeling?

New things are exciting and old things are boring. Most people would rather see a new movie, instead of watch the same movie over and over. Many people would rather take a vacation to a new place, than go back to the same place every summer. 

Something has to be really good to make you give up trying something new. Even if something new comes with risk of being worse than the other option, you never know until you try, and that's part of the appeal.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsyMBJwd3Ig