ndm678

Trip report

2 posts in this topic

Mushrooms, 2.75 g

My intent was to dig into my overly emotional 'storm' I've been experiencing as of late. I tried a more meditative experience instead of sitting under the stars.

My thoughts raced, it was like quickly flipping through channels through an old TV. The clear images cycled too quick to get attached to, some channels were static. The screen disappeared, I was in a field with a large tree in it. I made my way to the tree and touched it. I could feel the connectivity down into its roots, I could feel connectivity with everything that was around. I hugged the tree and felt something knock me out of that, like I didn't belong there.

I found myself in a forest of mushrooms, they were growing, twisting, swaying. I walked along until I saw my body lying in front of me. I watched as mushrooms began growing on it until the body was completely covered.This felt very unsettling. I felt an embrace from behind, it was warm, loving, and soothing. It's been so long since I felt that. Strong feelings arose and I was held tighter, soothing whatever strong emotions came up. I just stayed in this embrace, enjoying it fully and completely. This is what I crave on the sober side of the fabric. The scene faded into dark with a light above. It was like the moon behind clouds. Flashes of lights, like fireworks, and orbs of light moved around, also appearing like they were behind clouds. I was still held in the soothing embrace. I just stayed there, fully experiencing how comfortable and complete it felt, until I fell asleep.

How do I 'push that button' on this side of the fabric? I realize now I chase this one around, on so many levels, far more than I previously realized. 


I am that I AM

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I actually had a window experience on my first mushroom trip. I looked out my bedroom window and realized I was eternal everything and I could fly. Yet there was no "I", so it was more like there was eternal everything and flight. Then there was a desire to fly. It was so beautiful and free. . . Yet, in the back of my mind, there was a soft voice that said this could be harmful to me and to go downstairs. I didn't understand. There was no difference between jumping out the window or walking downstairs. In this mindstate, rational and intuition are flipped - so rational thinking seems to be some odd sense that I don't quite get. I ended up walking downstairs and later realized what it would be like to actually jump out a window or cliff on a high dose of mushrooms.

I've had to deal with harm anxiety while tripping. For me, I reduce the options. For a while, one of my anxieties is that I would send inappropriate texts / emails to my friends while tripping. So before my trips, I would drain my phone battery and put the phone and charger in a place that is difficult to access. 

  

IBut I felt relatively sane during the trip so I did end up sitting in my 5th floor balcony looking down at people walking by.  Didn't desire to hop or anything

I couldn't even do this sober, let alone tripping. I have severe anxiety of heights with sharp drop offs. 

 


♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

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