I was about to ask a girl out on a date with me but I chicken out instead.

[Deconstruct]

Hey guys.

Any tips on how to do it right and grow some fucking balls for once in my life and ACTUALLY doing it? And why am I ALWAYS being such a pussy, god damn it.

 

So, i went to this big weird store which were some kind of grocery store mixed with being a utility supply store. Looking for a lock for my locker room in school. Anyways... i noticed a cute girl organizing some shelves close to the cash register. I didn't think much of it cuz i didn't think i would ask her out yet. it was just a quick glimpse and saw she was cute.

Then i entered the store, looking for that lock. While i were looking for the lock i noticed it wasn't a lot of people around cuz the store were about to close. Found the lock, time to get out.

 

On my way to checkout... I saw NOBODY were at the checkout beside her and noticed EVEN MORE how cute she is! i was like... oh damn, this is a good opportunity to ask someone out. Because of how bad i am at handling social-pressure, cuz thinking people will judge me like "Don't do this afront of me please" "what the fuck are you doing?" "Haha, you got rejected". But it would be none of that this time!

So i felt a bit emboldened knowing this. Thinking I HAVE TO ask her...

While i was moving toward the cash register... i was thinking... what should i say and ask? and HOW you say it!

Not much time left, so this will be my thought proccess. i'll be clear on my intent. look her in the eye... she will feel and know that i want her. See if she feels the same way (Happened once in my life, didn't succeed btw).

Times up. I approach the register, thinking real quick... this is what i'll say "Hey, I thought you were cute. would you like to go on a date  to getter for a ice cream?". Yes, this will be it, this is what i'll say!

 

Now standing infront of her. hearing her voice "Hey", I say a good hey back. very normally, like nothing is going on. Also, her hey sounded good. I'm trying to bring my fucking eyes to meet hers but i didn't. well, i did but not in the way i wanted to. I was too fast! a quick look of the face and... i looked away. no detail of the face. can't even remember if we looked at each other.

Seeing her looking down at the cash register typing on it. Thinking... fuck it! bring her attention to you somehow, til she meet me in the eye and say it! stand there couple of millisecond so that she has to look me!

NOW! DO IT!

...

Abort, thinking... something is wrong with my line or the way i act. walked away.

now thinking, pfft, she probably gave a hint or a sign that she isn't interested  that i just missed. Her by not being enthusiast about it. or she had no idea whats going on and i'm overthinking about everything.

Now left wondering.. could it been something or were i dead from the start.

 

i just can't bust through it and execute on this and say it. felt like i was 90% commited to do it like i was about to shake cuz of nervousness but the 10% killed me.

A guy who is experienced and know what he is doing would have taken this opportinity with ease. it was such a golden opportunity.

 

I'm thinking i will try it again. next time she works there.

good idea or bad? i'm open to anything for your guys opinion.

 

i'm thinking i will need some serious help with this. thinking boot-camp or looking more into advice in this forum in the dating section area, books, courses. and take those material to heart.

 

 

 

[Realms of Wonder]

Dont be so hard on yourself. Its counter intuitive, but Love yourself through that failure. 

 

What did you learn?

 

Something that may help is just building momentum with small things, saying hi, making eye contact, etc.. for some, jumping straight to asking someone out can seem like an impossible hurdle to pass.

 

I see a deeper issue is your fear of being rejected or called out for expressing what you authentically want (asking her out,) as well as a deeper fear "she would never date me." I could be wrong so correct me if so. 

 

Also, how do you feel about yourself and life in general? if you feel good about yourself, and your life, being social and connecting with people becomes easier, you have a foundation to stand on, so to speak.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDTEY415-jM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGwQR_A2faA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

Try the “start conversations with women” and “get her number” videos here http://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

Edited August 23, 2022 by Raze

[Deconstruct]

@Realms of Wonder

On 8/24/2022 at 0:14 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

Dont be so hard on yourself. Its counter intuitive, but Love yourself through that failure.

Yeah, I know you are right. Its just so frustrating and i lose sight, knowing i should have been more committing to fix this issue.

Being harsh towards one self is not gonna be productive and just gonna create suffering. i'll be more kinder to myself.

 

On 8/24/2022 at 0:14 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

What did you learn?

I don't know. That i'll be very crippled of a person if I don't steer myself into becoming a better man?

 Or the fear that you mention that i have, which you are very right about. i guess i need to do some serious introspection figuring out where that fear comes from and what is it about? i need to learn about shadow work.

On 8/24/2022 at 0:14 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

Something that may help is just building momentum with small things, saying hi, making eye contact, etc.. for some, jumping straight to asking someone out can seem like an impossible hurdle to pass.

Yup, master the basics.

 

On 8/24/2022 at 0:14 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

I see a deeper issue is your fear of being rejected or called out for expressing what you authentically want (asking her out,) as well as a deeper fear "she would never date me." I could be wrong so correct me if so. 

Yeah... "Not feeling worthy" which Leo mentioned in his videos "How to get laid" series.

 

On 8/24/2022 at 0:14 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

Also, how do you feel about yourself and life in general? if you feel good about yourself, and your life, being social and connecting with people becomes easier, you have a foundation to stand on, so to speak.

yeah i'm studying to become pastry chef. which i think i would enjoy working at, aslo so i can hold a stady job too.

Thae i save up some money to move into the bigger city.

 

Sorry for taking so long to respond. havne't slept much lattely.

 

@Raze

Thanks for sharing. i'll be sure to look into it.

On 8/24/2022 at 0:27 AM, Raze said:

Try the “start conversations with women”

i'll do my best!

[Tron]

its all good babay babayyyyyy

 

edit: it's*

Edited August 25, 2022 by Tron