Family As A Negative Value

[Elena]

Im currently in the Values Assessment part of The life purpose course (Great stuff by the way!)  and family is a definite negative value for me (35%+ 65%-) . I love my family, I feel guilty when I dont spend enough time with them and I miss them, however when I do its just, well,  work. It doesn't give me satisfaction or happiness the way my other values on the list do. Frankly I dont see how I could make, for example, my weekly interactions with my grandma super exciting when we are going through the same four topics every time.  I discussed this issue with several friends and they shared similar experiences. I dont have traumatic events regarding my family we just dont have enough common interests to have a meaningful interaction. I am stuck in that part and wondering - should I just leave this value be the way it is and not try to make it a 10 out of 10 or should I try to dig deeper ? I think that the tricky thing about this value is that it involves more people. If you have issues with love and intimacy you can try to change yourself and find a suitable partner, however with family you cant pick and choose. 

 

Also @Leo Gura could you consider changing the format of the forum to something like reddit? It makes it soo much easier to find quality posts and you can check the best posts for the last year, month , week, day etc. Thanks.

[Nahm]

9 hours ago, Elena said:

Im currently in the Values Assessment part of The life purpose course (Great stuff by the way!)  and family is a definite negative value for me (35%+ 65%-) . I love my family, I feel guilty when I dont spend enough time with them and I miss them, however when I do its just, well,  work. It doesn't give me satisfaction or happiness the way my other values on the list do. Frankly I dont see how I could make, for example, my weekly interactions with my grandma super exciting when we are going through the same four topics every time.  I discussed this issue with several friends and they shared similar experiences. I dont have traumatic events regarding my family we just dont have enough common interests to have a meaningful interaction. I am stuck in that part and wondering - should I just leave this value be the way it is and not try to make it a 10 out of 10 or should I try to dig deeper ? I think that the tricky thing about this value is that it involves more people. If you have issues with love and intimacy you can try to change yourself and find a suitable partner, however with family you cant pick and choose. 

 

Also @Leo Gura could you consider changing the format of the forum to something like reddit? It makes it soo much easier to find quality posts and you can check the best posts for the last year, month , week, day etc. Thanks.

Change your perspective and your family will change. Or, skip em all together. 

Experience the latter for a while and you just might do the former in the process.

 

[pluto]

Be the example, don't let them pull you into their storm, pull them into your peace.

Think of everything resistant or negative as a test the universe sent you, this way you will remind yourself and Ace it

All is well

[Zippie]

Maybe you consider dropping that value from your top ten? If you can't imagine yourself being predominantly positively motivated by family in particular, than maybe you could replace that value with something that you're positively motivated toward that would still involve taking care of your family. For example: Loving-kindness, responsibility, integrity, etc.