Overcoming ?Irrational? Maturity Judgement

[Devin]

I can't think of anyone I've met in my life that I consider really mature, this effects me by avoiding relationships with some people, I also think most people aren't intelligent as well which has the same effect. I imagine I gained these unrealistic views from media. Any suggestions on overcoming these or thoughts on this?

Thank you

 

I know of the spiritual teachings about how this sort of thing can be beneficial because it puts a wedge between you falling in line with society which allows you to focus on spirituality, but I feel far enough along in spirituality that I can return to integrate more in society, and I want sincere unforced intimate relationships which is hindered by my judgement. Integrating my shadow/ego with this doesn't seem like the trick.

Edited August 24, 2022 by Devin

[integral]

I have never seen a relationship with out issues even at the highest level of development.

Its possible fundamentally there is some kind of evolutionary bias that makes this advantageous, maybe the instability ensures more partners, more chances for reproduction and gene diversity. 

Its the egos undesired reality. 

Edited August 24, 2022 by integral

[Tyler Robinson]

Relationships are always unhealthy because they arise from low consciousness. 

We have relationships for selfish needs. 

If you thought you wanted a relationship without expectations, then you would see that those relationships were truly the kind you wanted, yet that won't be a possibility because the other party is still selfish. 

 

[Realms of Wonder]

5 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Relationships are always unhealthy because they arise from low consciousness. 

We have relationships for selfish needs. 

Is that True?

[integral]

On 8/23/2022 at 8:27 AM, Devin said:

sincere unforced intimate relationships which is hindered by my judgement. Integrating my shadow/ego with this doesn't seem like the trick

You'll have to first redefine what a relationship means to you. Enter your next relationship with that in mind and practice it, expect to fail, learn from that mistake, practice again and again until you have yourself the expectation-less selfless relationship. 

On 8/21/2022 at 1:59 PM, puporing said:

Depends where someone's at with their development I think.

If you've done most of the healing work, transcended ego and gotten some awakenings, live in the present moment (and mostly egoless), got your survival stuff mostly together, it would be more possible to engage in non-monogamy long term.

But then where to find people like this in current time? Who will be similar and not use it to manipulate or have their selfishness/ego agenda ruin the dynamic? 

A less ideal form is possible but I feel that anything less than the above would have dysfunctions.

 

Edited August 24, 2022 by integral

[Tyler Robinson]

@integral are you okay with your woman sleeping with another man? 

 

[Devin]

11 minutes ago, integral said:

You'll have to first redefine what a relationship means to you. Enter your next relationship with that in mind and practice it, expect to fail, learn from that mistake, practice again and again until you have yourself the expectation-less selfless relationship. 

 

I actually have healthy relationships right now, including a girlfriend, I just feel like this is a wall that's holding me back in ways. But what you're saying is very helpful, thank you

Edited August 24, 2022 by Devin

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Devin said:

I just feel like this is a wall that's holding me back in ways.

If it's a healthy relationship, what more do you expect? 

[Devin]

29 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

If it's a healthy relationship, what more do you expect? 

True, it's not causing me real problems I just don't like that I'm judgmental sometimes, it gets in the way, I guess it may just be shadow/ego integration then, accepting that I'm sometimes judgmental, I guess I'm aware I am and that it's based on unrealistic ideas so it's just something to integrate or process

Thanks

Edited August 24, 2022 by Devin

[integral]

46 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@integral are you okay with your woman sleeping with another man? 

No because the ego has its selfish needs to keep her all to myself. 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, integral said:

No because the ego has its selfish needs to keep her all to myself. 

Yet you are okay sharing yourself!