Why is cheating considered okay?

[Tyler Robinson]

Why is cheating okay? It's not. It impacts the psyche. It causes trauma. 

A lot of men I interact with make flippant jokes about seeing other women or wandering around like it's no big deal. 

But it's a big deal. 

People do lots of wrong things in a relationship like not caring enough, bad habits, addiction, emotional neglect. 

But cheating is the worst form of betrayal. 

Would you as a guy like a woman who cheats on you with another man and you figure out later? 

Then why do you justify cheating on your girlfriend? Why is it okay or harmless in your mind or something you just expect your girlfriend to deal with? 

Why so many men expect women to even provide room for cheating in a relationship? 

Why can't they understand that it's very unhealthy? A woman is deeply impacted by cheating. 

Why is it okay for a man to see multiple women when it's not okay if women do it. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

5 minutes ago, QQQ said:

Ask yourself: Why is it okay for a woman to see multiple men, when it’s not okay if men do it?

Who told you it's okay? 

Men get enraged as hell when a woman cheats on them. 

But they are relaxed when they themselves do it. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

34 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Why is cheating okay? It's not. It impacts the psyche. It causes trauma. 

A lot of men I interact with make flippant jokes about seeing other women or wandering around like it's no big deal. 

But it's a big deal. 

People do lots of wrong things in a relationship like not caring enough, bad habits, addiction, emotional neglect. 

But cheating is the worst form of betrayal. 

Would you as a guy like a woman who cheats on you with another man and you figure out later? 

Then why do you justify cheating on your girlfriend? Why is it okay or harmless in your mind or something you just expect your girlfriend to deal with? 

Why so many men expect women to even provide room for cheating in a relationship? 

Why can't they understand that it's very unhealthy? A woman is deeply impacted by cheating. 

Why is it okay for a man to see multiple women when it's not okay if women do it. 

 

Maybe because most of relationship are based in need, in lack, in fear. They are a jail more than anything else, in which the other part is your jailer and at the same time your drug. If you take into account that most humans function from dysfunctionality, unconsciousness, learned behaviors and the fear of being left out of the group, you will see that it is totally normal for relationships to be based in lies

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Breakingthewall said:

Maybe because most of relationship are based in need, in lack, in fear. They are a jail more than anything else, in which the other part is your jailer and at the same time your drug. If you take into account that most humans function from dysfunctionality, unconsciousness, learned behaviors and the fear of being left out of the group, you will see that it is totally normal for relationships to be based in lies

And how do you deal with it? 

 

[Breakingthewall]

3 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

And how do you deal with it? 

 

I don't deal with it because I don't get into that kind of thing. anything that isn't completely authentic makes me sick. little by little authentic things appear and I cultivate them, and those that are not authentic I immediately discard

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

little by little authentic things appear and I cultivate them,

Could you explain this statement a bit? 

 

[Breakingthewall]

24 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Could you explain this statement a bit? 

 

Well, to be honest not very well. the sicker the fake makes me, the more dates but less sex. And when there is sex, as soon as the other part wants to go in a direction that I don't, I end it. The good thing is that I meet interesting girls every day in the street. But I don't want to have a relationship, and I see myself at risk of not having sex to avoid the fake. I hope not, but we'll see where it goes. 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Breakingthewall said:

Well, to be honest not very well. the sicker the fake makes me, the more dates but less sex. And when there is sex, as soon as the other part wants to go in a direction that I don't, I end it. The good thing is that I meet interesting girls every day in the street. But I don't want to have a relationship, and I see myself at risk of not having sex to avoid the fake. I hope not, but we'll see where it goes. 

So they cheated on you? 

[something_else]

I honestly think the rate of cheating in serious relationships is probably pretty equal for male and female.

But yea, there is an idea of playing the field for guys, especially younger ones, which is possibly quite toxic. Though it tends to be more about keeping relationships very casual and not getting too committed rather than outright cheating on explicitly serious relationships.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, something_else said:

But yea, there is an idea of playing the field for guys, especially younger ones, which is possibly quite toxic. Though it tends to be more about keeping relationships very casual and not getting too committed rather than outright cheating on explicitly serious relationships.

Either way it's hurtful? 

Would you agree? 

Imagine if you're a young girl emotionally invested in a guy and the next thing you know is that he is looking at the woman across the street and how is that going to make you feel as a girl? 

 

[something_else]

Just now, Tyler Robinson said:

Either way it's hurtful? 

Would you agree? 

Imagine if you're a young girl emotionally invested in a guy and the next thing you know is that he is looking at the woman across the street and how is that going to make you feel as a girl? 

 

That's why I said it's toxic. But it can be done in non-toxic ways if you keep to girls who are also not looking for something super serious. Then it's really just experimentation and both sexes should do it, at least a bit.

The really problematic cheating is when you are actually in a serious relationship. No one looks at that and says it's acceptable for either sex.

[Breakingthewall]

6 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

So they cheated on you? 

i am not referring to explicit lies but to projections, feigned behavior, impurities. that is not a true and perfect flow.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, something_else said:

That's why I said it's toxic. But it can be done in non-toxic ways if you keep to girls who are also not looking for something super serious. Then it's really just experimentation and both sexes should do it, at least a bit.

The really problematic cheating is when you are actually in a serious relationship. No one looks at that and says it's acceptable for either sex.

Agreed. 

[Tyler Robinson]

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

i am not referring to explicit lies but to projections, feigned behavior, impurities. that is not a true and perfect flow.

Curious why you would get into relationships at all if you thought they were a jail? 

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Why so many men expect women to even provide room for cheating in a relationship? 

Why can't they understand that it's very unhealthy? A woman is deeply impacted by cheating. 

Why is it okay for a man to see multiple women when it's not okay if women do it. 

 

Imo its because of a combination of two things. Evolutionary biology and gender socialisation.

Firstly, evolutionary biology shows that men and women have different mating strategies and these lead to different perceptions of cheating. Men have a stronger natural desire to have as much sex and reproduce with as many women as possible. That is largely because there are low repercussions for engaging in the process of child bearing for them, for it is women who have to deal with the vulnerabilities that come with pregnancy, and men have way more sperm than women have eggs. A woman will naturally be more inclined to want a committed relationship, particularly during pregnancy and as the couple ages, because she is vulnerable and, relative to the man, loses much more of her sexual attractiveness quicker and at an earlier age. Therefore, compromising the existing relationship via cheating makes much less senses from an evolutionary perspective to women.

Secondly, gender socialisation refers to the different ways that men and women are generally socialised in societies. I'll focus here predominantly on US style socialisation. Men are socialised to exile feelings of sadness, and compassion, where as women are socialised to exile feelings of anger, generally. Men's process of socialisation makes them less able to care emotionally or themselves or for others as women - making men more disagreeable. Women's process of socialisation makes them less able to draw boundaries, and makes them more agreeable. Cheating in relationships involves breaking the expectations set around that relationship, in other words, it involves overstepping the boundaries of the agreement between two people. Men are socialised in a way which makes them less likely to respect other people's boundaries than women, while women are socialised in a way where they will overly respect other people's boundaries and preferences. The result being that men are socialised in a way which makes them more likely to cheat than women, from a socialisation perspective.

[Tyler Robinson]

5 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Cheating in relationships involves breaking the expectations set around that relationship, in other words, it involves overstepping the boundaries of the agreement between two people. Men are socialised in a way which makes them less likely to respect other people's boundaries than women, while women are socialised in a way where they will overly respect other people's boundaries and preferences. The result being that men are socialised in a way which makes them more likely to cheat than women, from a socialisation perspective.

Lmao nice justification there. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Ulax by the way I asked "why is cheating considered okay?" I did not ask "why is cheating desirable for men?" 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, QQQ said:

You’ll start to heal your anger over the subject if you can put yourself in a man’s shoes who has been cheated on. 

No. I get angry when I'm put in the shoes of a man who has been cheated on. Because they get to whine meanwhile I don't. 

If a woman whines about how a man cheated on her, she is bad because she wasn't open minded enough .. Blah blah blah. 

The hypocrisy. 

 

[mr_engineer]

Cheating is considered 'okay' because it's not a crime. It's not as bad as physically hitting someone, for example. 

[Federico del pueblo]

@Tyler Robinson I don't think most men believe that cheating is ok.

They know it's not ok, but some of them still do it, whilst many don't do it.

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Why is it okay for a man to see multiple women when it's not okay if women do it.

It's only ok if the guy is single or has a open relationship.

Everything else is bullshit.

If man really believe that it's ok to cheat on their gf in a monogamous relationship, then they're just using their minds capacity to create some kind of nonsensical belief system that helps them to not feel bad about cheating. That's all.

And btw, women do that too.