I’m not a racist, but genuine question s

[kray]

When I’m around a black friend, he tends to have this uptight professional vibe with me, but only when he’s around other black people does he loosen up and be his genuine self, I’ve noticed this with all my other male/female friends too. Is there like a code of conduct among black people? Do they talk one way with one person, but another way with their own race? @Leo Gura don’t block me or lock this post, I am genuinely curious. 

[Leo Gura]

Lol

[Terell Kirby]

Sounds like you’re reading way too much into it, but if you are genuinely curious, just ask your friend.

There is no “code of conduct” among races, people are just more natural around those they are most comfortable with.

[kray]

33 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

Sounds like you’re reading way too much into it, but if you are genuinely curious, just ask your friend.

There is no “code of conduct” among races, people are just more natural around those they are most comfortable with.

Yea I understand that, but say for me, for example, I talk to the same to everyone no matter what their race. My friend just code switches on us when he’s around us vs other African Americans. He’ll use words like “y’all” or “my n word” or use a special handshake with them vs when he’s around our friend group. It feels like my man doesn’t really mess with us at times, even when he says we are his close friends. 

[Tyler Robinson]

Maybe his comfort zone is more consistent with his own community. It's a common phenomenon. 

 

[Nilsi]

I don't think that has necessarily something to do with being black. When I'm with my homies, I'll carry myself differently, than when I'm with a friend, I don't feel so connected to. It's about feeling understood and connected, and a common cultural background can provide that, of course 

[DocWatts]

Pro tip: don't begin inquiries around race with the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." 

Just ask whatever you're going to ask without prefacing it in a defensive manner.

Edited August 20, 2022 by DocWatts

[Danioover9000]

@kray

15 hours ago, kray said:

When I’m around a black friend, he tends to have this uptight professional vibe with me, but only when he’s around other black people does he loosen up and be his genuine self, I’ve noticed this with all my other male/female friends too. Is there like a code of conduct among black people? Do they talk one way with one person, but another way with their own race? @Leo Gura don’t block me or lock this post, I am genuinely curious. 

   There's no such explicit code of conduct, not just for black communities, but for all other communities out there, with the exceptions of behaviors that hurt others. They are largely implicit, and depends on which group you feel comfortable belonging in. Some groups I vibe with, others I don't, in this way it's only natural.

   As long as you're read the guidelines, and watch what you say, you can almost discuss any topic, as long as you are curious and act courteous to others here, factoring in differences in worldviews, value systems, personalities, cognitive and moral differences, and life experiences, in non-judgmental fashion. 

[Kksd74628]

@DocWatts

Sad thing nowadays is that this needs to be said or whatever you say will be used against you and it may still be after saying it.

[Kksd74628]

@kray

Like there is bro code - which is that whenever you are situation where there is only men, you start to act more freely, make points that couldn't be said in internet nowadays and just the overall vibe is more manly - there is also black man code. Black people are more friendly, they hug their friends when they see each other and they have this extreme cool vibe that I can't even explain. That needs just to be seen. Whoever disagrees that there are differences in races either lies or is stupid.

[Razard86]

On 8/20/2022 at 9:26 AM, DocWatts said:

Pro tip: don't begin inquiries around race with the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." 

Just ask whatever you're going to ask without prefacing it in a defensive manner.

^ I was like....that is like the worst catch phrase to ask a question. I'm not a serial killer but..... lol. Reminds me when O.J. Simpson wrote a book entitled "If I had done it."

Anyway you'd actually be surprised. Some people act like that because that's how the people in his race group act but he may not actually be close to them like that. Shoot you should just ask him directly instead of asking us since you actually know the guy. It appears to me the one that is very race sensitive is you. Like you are afraid to offend him. Offend away man, being afraid to offend others will make you less authentic. Better to say what you mean and mean what you say than beat around the bush or walk on egg shells in service to being nice.

Aim to be respectful and honest versus inauthentic and "nice." 

[Tron]

just like a pimp in the hood im code switchinnnnn

 

sounds like you just aint connected to his culture 

[Tron]

I am in this group of progressive people for an internship. I talk very politely, mind my p's and q's, and carry myself well

 

but with my boys shit is different. The style of language, the slang, the things we can talk about. The overall tone changes. Thats culture bro 

[cupofwater]

@krayThis is what you're experiencing.

Edited August 30, 2022 by cupofwater