Did I fuck it up? I need your advice (Leo and the other members)

[HereNow]

So basically Im attracted to that chick (Im male,straight) I know from my part-time work and I am more interested than just friendship. I want her as a girlfriend. We met for the first time 2 monthes ago. At work I see her on Fridays and in total I saw her on about 4 Fridays and I talked with her a bit, when I was at work. I also met her a few times besides work in my free time. I wasn’t attracted to her from the beginning, so I didn’t set a sexual intent from the get-go. It wasn’t her physical features to be honest that got me attracted to her, I mean shes good-looking, but shes not that beautiful. Shes average-looking I would say. I am more attracted to her inner qualities. She very feminine, caring, loving and cute. But I also love her body to be honest. I wouldn’t say that shes hot and I know many other girls, who are physically more attractive than her, but Im not the type of guy, who gets attracted to a girl, just because shes hot and good-looking. I have to first meet her a few times and see her personality before attraction happens.

The problem is, she said she doesn’t have feelings for me at the moment, but we did many romantic stuff together, some of them from her idea, some of them from mine. We cuddled together, we touched our bodies, we hold hands, I even kissed her on the mouth two times. There was no sex. But I didn’t feel that she really wanted it, but she also wasn’t opposed to it. She let me do it. She also said that she wanted to do more romantic stuff with me, like cuddling together in the evening while drinking some whine. And she is always texting me, everyday asking how Im feeling, what I am doing etc. really everyday. I have almost never asked her that kind of questions.

Yesterday we cuddled together and I kissed her two times on her mouth and out of the blue she texted me on the evening, that she is not sure, whether she sees me as a lover or as a friend and that shes not ready for kissing and cuddling (although we did it a few times, makes no sense at all). She said she sees me more as a friend. She said she doesn’t want to lose me, and she misses me all the time and that Im a very important person in her life. She is always asking me, if I want to go out to hang out with her or to take a walk with her. I also met her family and we got along very well. She trusted me many of her secrets, although I haven’t told her even one secret of mine, lol.

We really have amazing chemistry together, but something is missing, she isn’t very sexual towards me, apart from the stuff I mentioned above. She also said that maybe in the future she could develop some feelings for me, but right now at the moment they are not existing she said. From my side I have feelings for her, I feel drawn and attracted to her. I want to be near her, I want to touch her, I want to have sex with her. I want her as my girlfriend.

So where did I fuck it up? Did I set the sexual intent too late? Do you think, shes attracted to me? Am I already in the friendzone and is there a way to get out of it, if it’s the case?

 

By the way Im 25 and shes 18, soon 19. So there is quite an age gap between us.

Thanks for the help ?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtWU-9MW_tg

Try the friend zone to end zone video here https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

 

This is a tough one. I’d say just be platonic friends for now, but don’t spend every day for each other and be giving her your all. Spend time with her, but also take periods apart. In the mean time, start developing your attractive traits. Know how to be funny and make her laugh, display attractive personality traits like confidence, ambition, etc. through your life, also develop preselection, if she sees attractive women who enjoy your company it will boost your attractiveness. Perhaps if she has you added on social media post photos of yourself hanging out with other girls, platonically.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXehvygXNEc

 

[Razard86]

Are you kidding me? Dude you already got her!!! I'm going to tell you something that most guys don't know....kissing is considered more intimate by a lot of women than penetration. I know its surprising but its true. If a woman is willing to kiss you on the mouth on more than one occasion and I am not talking a peck, I mean mouth to mouth resuscitation then you pretty much can have sex with her.

She is saying this to TEST YOUR CONFIDENCE. This is what is classically called a SHIT TEST. And you are failing it but she is being very patient. Take her to your place, set the mood, and go for it. That's all. The END. 

[Roy]

14 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

She is saying this to TEST YOUR CONFIDENCE. This is what is classically called a SHIT TEST. And you are failing it but she is being very patient. Take her to your place, set the mood, and go for it. That's all. The END. 

You're right about the last part, he needs to just make his intentions known and make a direct move. However I don't think everything is a shit test, or a premeditated manipulation on the part of the women. Sometimes they are just genuinely confused and have no idea what they want, and are basically waiting to kind of be told what they want from the man, in other words they want to be led.

It's sounds a little sexist because it paints women as somewhat helpless, but it's been my personal experience with a lot of girls.

Anyways man @HereNow I wouldn't panic too much. Just make it abundantly clear what you want without bluffing. If she rejects it then it's not meant to be. Go find someone that will appreciate your honesty.

[HereNow]

@Razard86 Thanks for your answer, really really appreciate it. But she sent me via chat that she doesnt have any feelings for me and sees me as a friend. How can I then have sex with her?

[something_else]

1 minute ago, HereNow said:

@Razard86 Thanks for your answer, really really appreciate it. But she sent me via chat that she doesnt have any feelings for me and sees me as a friend. How can I then have sex with her?

You’re probably past that now. I’d move onto other girls.

Maybe you get lucky and your detachment makes her change her mind but don’t count on it. It’s not worth your (or her) mental energy to engage in games like this

[HereNow]

@Roy I already led her. I took her hand, I escalated physically, I kissed her twice. And I directly told her what I want. Nevertheless she still just want to be just friends. Shall I just move on?@Roy @Roy @Razard86

[Roy]

Yea just move on, don't try to squeeze blood from a stone. If she is abundantly clear about it respect the boundary.

[NoSelfSelf]

How long did it pass before you made it clear you want something more? And what did you do with her before that?

[HereNow]

@NoSelfSelf Before the first physical escalation, before I made it clear that I want more, we talked with eachother a few times at work and met one time to hang out with eachother. We talked normal conversations, laughed, had fun, listened to music, just had a good time together. The second time I met her, I already touched her hands, her arms, her head, I escalated physically and it was quite obvious. She accepted it. Before that heavy escalation I would say one and a half monthes gone by. We also chatted everyday and quite a lot. I met her for the first time 2 monthes ago at work.

[NoSelfSelf]

@HereNow So its period of 2 months...situation is that you created an image in her mind of a friendly guy that she likes to talk to and now you jumped to more intimate level is a shock to her and dishonesty in her mind so its tough now to move things further than being a friend...

Shes fighting that but shes losing.. so if you ask me i would say hey friend thing is not for me so if you wanna have crazy sexual experiences then contact me something in those lines but you do what you wanna do but in the end its a waste of time if you wanna have sex...

[HereNow]

@NoSelfSelf So you mean, otherwise there is no hope and I should move on to other girls?

[NoSelfSelf]

@HereNow There is always hope thats the thing but in process you are losing your self esteem your manhood by trying to get someone thats not interested in you romanticaly and you are in weak position where you will try to make it work doing some silly stuff...other thing is time you can focus on someone that wants you for real and you can move her better and more efficient on your terms not hers...

[Tyler Robinson]

She doesn't love you. She made it clear she doesn't have feelings. What more do you want. 

Move to the next girl.. 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Loba]

I would move on.  If someone is not interested in you, take their word for it and accept that this is likely not going to change.
If ever there was a glimmer of hope, which there isn't much of one, then moving on actually allows that person greater clarity into deciding how they feel about you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
But if you just kind of stick around her, hoping things will change, placating to her, instead of going off, living your own life and being your best self, this can turn a woman away from you in an instant.  The thing is, there are many, many people in the world to get to know and to meet.  Don't put all your eggs in one basket for one person.  For every one girl that you feel a connection to, there are hundreds if not thousands more in your area that would be an even better match.  It sucks when someone doesn't reciprocate, and I know how that feels, but if I were you, I would cut ties until you no longer have any feelings for her.  Maybe when you've moved on you could continue the friendship if you choose to.

[HereNow]

@Leo Gurawhat do you think about this situation, Leo? I would really appreciate it, to hear your opinion/advice on this. Thanks a lot.

Edited August 20, 2022 by HereNow