Integration challenges

[Jalextheopenminded]

Hi guys

I have been a silent follower of this forum for a while but never saw enough meaning in contributing to start writing posts. The reason being that I still saw myself as a mental masturbator that didn't have enough to show for himself so that he could add value to a blog. Leo changed my mind with his last video containing his poetic description of god consciousness. His trajectory of sharing beauty through more artistic means deeply resonated with me, and I now officially qualify myself as being beautiful enough to stop hoarding it all to myself, as well as finally seeing beauty as valuable enough to be a sharable resource. So here is my story of an integration challenge.

Before watching leos video last evening, I had gone through a small experiment of my own. With a enjoyably mellow buzz of a trip amping up my lust for adventure, I found myself to be standing at the border of forest and field, in which I desided to lay down and take my Tshirt off. Something I had noticed before is that a benign little bug crawling over your calf can induce unholy amounts of not accepting the tiny lite toe steps on your skin. So I let the occasional ant critter explore my body scape, at first tensing up in irritation, trying to laugh at the fact that their mighty little jaws couldn't even pierce through my protective skin armour if they tried. From the depths arose a memory of a film scene in an indiana jones movie, in which giant rain forest ants drag some dude into their colony. Silly mainstream media instilling fear into the general populace... but what if my mind was powerful enough to make it real? Facing these thoughts, I felt mostly minor skin discomfort, little peaks and pokes and stings, myself reminding me of the possible sadistic nature of ants towards human beings. Some part of me found it silly to worry about insects, so I found peace with them just wandering around like traveling merchants in a desert. It was a relatively easy challenge, since I was just facing thoughts and didn't have to embody into some actual crazy 4d world like leo did with the raptors and the alien queen, but my intimate relationships with ants on my body has slightly improved. I think the deep underlaying fear at work here is the idea of accelerated decomposion of ones body. But the ant world is beautiful, so let the little worker ants do their metabolism of rearranging your bodily elements and fuse you with the megaorganism of the jungle, i guess. 

I would be interested in hearing about your experiences in which, with or without drug aidance, you were brave enough to face some actual threat in a "safe" and conscious way, therby being able deconstruct the fear and coming out the deep end with more trust towards the universe? Lets help eachother to show that there is nothing to be afraid of!

Thank you leo for the radiant beauty of the story you posted and for being a role model of actually interacting with life face first. 

Much love to all❤️

[Leo Gura]

Welcome to the forum

[Jalextheopenminded]

@Aleister Crowleyy im curious to why you believe that. Couldn't raising your awareness inspire you to self express more through packing your insights into longer texts, and sharing those with imaginary people? 

[Nilsi]

Insects are the worst lol. I once had a trip, in which my mind got so melty and powerful, that out of my brown bathroom floor, a fucking snail emerged. It was actually there; I even had to grab a shovel and throw that motherfucker out.  To this day, this is the freakiest shit, that has ever happened to me.

The great thing about psychedelics is, that they give you some plausible deniability for all the fucked up shit you experience  There is always some uncertainty, whether this really happened, or, whether it was just a trip (and in the final analysis, of course, there is no difference between those anyways).

Edited August 19, 2022 by Nilsi

[Jalextheopenminded]

@Nilsi @Nilsi thats totally insane. Can you recall if certain insect related thought patters triggerd its arrival, or did it just spontaneously decide to pop up?

Plausible deniability is a masterful survival mechanism. The way it usually works for me is that I usually can't even remember the trippy stuff that happens to me, until Im high again and then all the memories from the past drug worlds flood in again. Anyone feel like they have integrated the psychedelic and sober world, or is it good to maintain coherent baseline consciousness in order to still function in everyday life?

[Nilsi]

2 hours ago, Jalextheopenminded said:

@Nilsi @Nilsi thats totally insane. Can you recall if certain insect related thought patters triggerd its arrival, or did it just spontaneously decide to pop up?

Plausible deniability is a masterful survival mechanism. The way it usually works for me is that I usually can't even remember the trippy stuff that happens to me, until Im high again and then all the memories from the past drug worlds flood in again. Anyone feel like they have integrated the psychedelic and sober world, or is it good to maintain coherent baseline consciousness in order to still function in everyday life?

Yeah, I was thinking about how, if aliens came to earth, I would totally be cool with them and would try to make them feel at home here - next thing you know, this slimy piece of shit popped out of my floor and I completely lost it  It was a good lesson though.

Edited August 19, 2022 by Nilsi