How will sleeping with a hooker affect me?

[assx95]

I am a virgin and I have contact of an independent call girl. 

I am also learning game by going out and approaching girls. I am in newbie phase. 

I have always held the fantasy and idea in my head that my first time will be special and with the girl I love. The girl I did love ended up blocking me so it's not on the cards anytime soon.

What is the tradeoff of sleeping with a call girl? How is it different than casual sex? And how is it likely to affect me learning game? 

I personally feel like it's a cheatcode and one that I could use if playing the field doesn't work. Any insight on the topic? 

Edited August 17, 2022 by assx95

[BlessedLion]

Hm, in my experience it can be good for just getting that urge or energy out and make you better at game because you’re more relaxed and less tense about needing to get your sexual energy out. 
 

it’s better than porn or jerking it. 
 

I think spiritually it can be bad if overdone, you are taking in her energy in a way and she has been with many men so likely a lot of darkness there 

 

but that said I’ve had great experiences with prostitutes and usually they are really sweet and chill

[puporing]

18 hours ago, assx95 said:

What is the tradeoff of sleeping with a call girl? How is it different than casual sex?

People often think there's a big difference but the way I've seen most guys approach casual sex is to treat the woman like a prostitute. And I've heard this complaint from other women too, who just feel like they're an unpaid prostitute. Pretty sad state of affairs for some of these things. So you can even argue that the girl selling sex is treated better in those kind of cases where a guy is just using her body for a time and do not care about her anymore than he would a paid sex worker.

I'm probably going to offend some people, but what's the real difference between paying a therapist so someone can console/meet your emotional needs temporarily vs paying someone for sex so you can get a relief for your emotional/physical need temporarily? It's just we've made the distinction in our mind that it's "very different" but theres actually a lot of overlapping emotional dynamics at play.

Those have been my thoughts but I think strange things sometimes.

Edited August 18, 2022 by puporing

[Sanguine]

Pretty essential for my opinion on this: what's your age? 

[Arcangelo]

19 hours ago, assx95 said:

it's a cheatcode

That's exactly what it is. It's the real thing, but it isn't...

Life is full of paradoxes.

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

I think spiritually it can be bad if overdone, you are taking in her energy in a way and she has been with many men so likely a lot of darkness there 

Yeah, absolutely.

 

[aurum]

@assx95

Ideally, you learn to create an emotional bond with a women who isn’t just there because you’re paying her.

Call girls might be a hinderance in the sense that you just get lazy about actually learning that skill. Hedonic tolerance could also backfire on you. And you might learn unhealthy habits in terms of what sex in a relationship must be like. You are especially at risk being a virgin.

That said, I think there are some upsides to call girls who are part of a legit, regulated, legal brothel system.

1) No need to pretend like you want more than what you want. If all you want is casual sex, there ya go. Both parties get what they want and then it’s over. No hurt feelings

2) If she’s part of a brothel, she is legally required to get checked for STDs. Birth control of some kind is also enforced

3) You can play out pretty much whatever sexual fantasies you want with no judgment

4) No need to worry about when the next time you’ll get sex is coming. Just order when desired. Which can free up your mind to focus on other things

5) No real need to worry about sexual performance. When you’re with a romantic partner, often guys put a lot of pressure on themselves. There is no “practice” for sex. But with a escort, it doesn’t matter how well you perform.

In reality, I’ve never actually been with an escort. So I could be talking out of my ass. Take everything I said with a grain of salt. And if you’re going to do it, I would again stress doing it legally. Not worth it IMO to go the illegal route, too much risk for too little reward. 

[King Merk]

6 hours ago, puporing said:

I'm probably going to offend some people, but what's the real difference between paying a therapist so someone can console/meet your emotional needs temporarily vs paying someone for sex so you can get a relief for your emotional/physical need temporarily? It's just we've made the distinction in our mind that it's "very different" but theres actually a lot of overlapping emotional dynamics at play.

I agree 100%. In fact I think we should be legalizing sex work.

It would greatly reduce illegal sex trafficking, make the act of sex work/prostitution much safer, stimulate the economy and help fulfill a physiological need that many are suffering from.

Whats holding us back from doing this?

Our collective shadow around sex… thanks Christianity?

[puporing]

7 hours ago, King Merk said:

I agree 100%. In fact I think we should be legalizing sex work.

It would greatly reduce illegal sex trafficking, make the act of sex work/prostitution much safer, stimulate the economy and help fulfill a physiological need that many are suffering from.

Whats holding us back from doing this?

Our collective shadow around sex… thanks Christianity?

It would be helpful to sex workers for it to be regulated, protected, as well as legalized. 

There're a lot "at stake" on that point to resist this:

Perceived threat to existing relationships/structures.

Fear of how that might change the status quo.

Force people to examine how much conditionality is in their relationships.

It would radically change how we think about sex and face that sometimes it is "transactional"/highly conditional. Ie we still prefer to delude ourselves in thinking that it is/should always be free from being highly conditional, yet conditional love is the dominant way people are approaching relationships right now, it's just varying in degrees.

Edited August 18, 2022 by puporing

[Bird Larry]

No problem. Make sure she has a lovely time. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by Bird Larry

[something_else]

I don't think it's wrong for guys to use hookers.

However... For your first time? That's a bad idea. You will likely regret that for the rest of your life.

[eos_nyxia]

19 hours ago, puporing said:

People often think there's a big difference but the way I've seen most guys approach casual sex is to treat the woman like a prostitute. And I've heard this complaint from other women too, who just feel like they're an unpaid prostitute. Pretty sad state of affairs for some of these things. So you can even argue that the girl selling sex is treated better in those kind of cases where a guy is just using her body for a time and do not care about her anymore than he would a paid sex worker.

I'm probably going to offend some people, but what's the real difference between paying a therapist so someone can console/meet your emotional needs temporarily vs paying someone for sex so you can get a relief for your emotional/physical need temporarily? It's just we've made the distinction in our mind that it's "very different" but theres actually a lot of overlapping emotional dynamics at play.

Those have been my thoughts but I think strange things sometimes.

I agree with you on both points. It really does appear to be a raw deal even if NSA pleasure is what you're seeking as a woman.

The kicker is men who need to feel that their hookup up wants "them for them", I guess (or the closest thing they can humanly get to it). Whether it's sexually, for their body, for their personality/ "charisma", etc. rather than their wallet. And this is somehow mutually exclusive from providing money directly to women. Men who don't have this hang-up can potentially get what they want from the opposite sex for free... but they might choose not to for various reasons. Or... maybe they can't, and still, the experience is worth it enough to them to keep paying for it.

Men who don't care, for whatever their motives are, are free from this dichotomy.

[Spiral]

First time you have sex is gonna be terrible either way?

 

Where I’m from, buying sex is taboo and you’ll ruin your chances of having a long term relationships if you intend to be honest about it. 

Edited August 20, 2022 by Spiral

[7thLetter]

It doesn't affect you as much as you think it would.

It sort of like masturbating, masturbation doesn't improve your game or make you more confident.

I will say though, if you slept with a hooker there might be a slight boost in your confidence for about a week, especially the day of and day after, but that's about it. It helps you get some more experience in the bedroom, but it won't exactly help you improve your game, meaning it won't help with your social skills and pull women home.

The only way to improve your game is to go out and practice game, not by purchasing the desired result with a hooker.

And I mean if you're asking how will it affect you, it definitely affects your wallet quite a bit lol

[puporing]

@Aleister Crowleyy I prefer being connected to the person and seeing/being seen. Not sure about yours. We all have "preferences" or else you'd be okay having sex with an animal. 

And because you see sex as mainly animalistic (which I consider more an aspect of), it makes sense you're not getting the point I'm making about therapist.

Edited August 21, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

39 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I don't  think that it's  appropriate to compare an experience of a girl who willingly decided to hookup with someone and ended up being disappointed cause a drunk guy from a night club didn't  treat her well enough with that of a hooker. Who in many cases comes from a horrible background, is suffering from trauma, addictions, mental disorders, and is forced to have sex with people for money just so that she doesn't die or might even be a victim of sexual trafficking.

The fact that people even think of comparing those things is a definition  of #firstworldproblems

That's why generalizations don't work for individual cases. And I wasn't referring to that kind of comparison. You're just straw manning to avoid the actual thing being pointed to.

You're mixing the mildest possible example in the first case with the most extreme in the other example.

But on the other hand, it's degrees of pain/suffering, and how do you know if one is really more or less? It's only true to the individual/experiencer.  Unless you've directly experienced the same kind of pain of being ill-used for sex as I have you don't understand what that's like either and just trivializing/dismissing it the same. And I'm not gonna list out all of my experience on a public forum to you right now.

And I'm done talking about this with people who have no direct experience with it nor care about the truth. You can keep fantasizing that this kind of thing doesn't exist or causes no emotional pain.

Edited August 21, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

5 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@puporing sorry,I didn't mean tosound like a dick or be dismissive towards what you've felt.

But your initial post also was full of generalisation:

 

And that was my direct experience, that when it comes to casual sex, most guys I've personally dealt with have a "psychopathic" kind of approach about it that is dehumanizing and emotionally painful. But clearly I said most so not all were like this.

You can disregard the heresay part as I said it was heresay and clearly can't confirm directly what other women experience, but sometimes heresay should also be taken into account as that's all you have. Like when you're sharing about something on this forum even if from your experience, it becomes heresay. Though there's layers of "directness" and you can choose to not trust ones farther away from "direct experience ", and not take too seriously. 

Edited August 21, 2022 by puporing