Childhood Trauma/ Sexual Abuse

[Shakazulu]

@Ulax the book is giving me a greater idea of what trauma is and how trauma makes me react. 

[Shakazulu]

@Superfluo right now I’m reading The Living Legacy of Trauma book, what do you recommend? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Shakazulu said:

@Leo Gura oops, thought I was being concise. Im unable to sleep with them or even set up another date after the first time meeting them. 

1. I’ll meet them 

2. I’ll give off a great first impression & get their phone number/contact info 

3. they’ll stop replying to me or lose interest after texting me for a period of time 

Women are very flakey. Most numbers won't pan out. That's nothing personal.

You also might just be bad at setting up dates.

How many times has this happened? How many phone numbers?

Edited September 1, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Shakazulu]

@Leo Gura if im not being rejected, girls that lose interest in me are the girls I have most things in common with and the girls I’m most compatible with. I’ll meet them the first day, they’ll tell me about their life trauma and be on the verge of tears. The instant date will go well, They’ll talk about spirituality and they’ll be all hot and turned on. It’s almost like they’ll tell me everything I want to hear then after on text they’ll act completely different. I find one of these girls out of 20 or 30 

[Superfluo]

2 hours ago, Shakazulu said:

right now I’m reading The Living Legacy of Trauma book, what do you recommend?

If you need books with exercises, go for The Completion Process by Teal Swan, or Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past by Peter A. Levine & Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

[Shakazulu]

@Superfluo thanks a lot king! I appreciate that  

[spiritual memes]

I've also experience a lot of childhood abuse (but not sexual) and it absolutely affects my dating life. Until you sort out your childhood traumas, dating and game will be an uphill battle. 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Shakazulu said:

@Leo Gura if im not being rejected, girls that lose interest in me are the girls I have most things in common with and the girls I’m most compatible with. I’ll meet them the first day, they’ll tell me about their life trauma and be on the verge of tears. The instant date will go well, They’ll talk about spirituality and they’ll be all hot and turned on. It’s almost like they’ll tell me everything I want to hear then after on text they’ll act completely different. I find one of these girls out of 20 or 30 

And how many times has this happened in total?

[Shakazulu]

@spiritual memes I feel that! I’m working through it much as I can! Any recommendations? 

[spiritual memes]

5 minutes ago, Shakazulu said:

@spiritual memes I feel that! I’m working through it much as I can! Any recommendations? 

Meditation, shadow work and IFS therapy

[Shakazulu]

@Leo Gura  losing the girls who I’m compatible with happens pretty often. In my three years of gaming there were clear, open, great opportunities that I’ve fumbled through self sabotage in hindsight. There had to be about 40+ girls who were interested that I flushed down the toilet. Then their are four or five of the really special girls. The ones I would consider “ soulmates “ who I’ve pushed away because of my behaviour. 

[Shakazulu]

@spiritual memes thank you 

[Leo Gura]

58 minutes ago, Shakazulu said:

@Leo Gura  losing the girls who I’m compatible with happens pretty often. In my three years of gaming there were clear, open, great opportunities that I’ve fumbled through self sabotage in hindsight. There had to be about 40+ girls who were interested that I flushed down the toilet. Then their are four or five of the really special girls. The ones I would consider “ soulmates “ who I’ve pushed away because of my behaviour. 

Just honestly observe what you're doing that's causing this. And then stop doing it.

Get strict with yourself about how you do game and cut out all the unnecessary bullshit. Optimize your game so it's effective. It's nothing personal.

Edited September 1, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Shakazulu]

@Leo Gura

thank you Leo! 

the RSD courses I have are 

The resonator - Jeffy

Girlfriend Game - Max

10 commandments of game - Derek

BOSS - Madison 

Hot seat at home - Madison 

Get your Ten - Madison 

[Tyler Robinson]

A lot of girls are flakey because they aren't sure if they would want to continue with the date. 

This is not such a bad thing because you wouldn't like to have a relationship who isn't that interested to begin with so it's sort of an auto eliminating process. 

You could wait for a girl who is more compatible and aligned to your style of communication and personal nature. 

Don't take their flaking too personally. It could be them rather than you. 

If you're good at game, then continue doing that, and wait for those who really wish to stick around. 

Dating can be a very tiring process and often you don't meet the one who really want to be with right away. 

[Shakazulu]

@Tyler Robinson I like that! It is an auto eliminating process. I sure wouldn’t want to be dating someone who isn’t interested in me. We as people like what we can’t have or never will have. 

[Superfluo]

11 hours ago, spiritual memes said:

I've also experience a lot of childhood abuse (but not sexual) and it absolutely affects my dating life. Until you sort out your childhood traumas, dating and game will be an uphill battle. 

@Shakazulu This is key.

[Superfluo]

@Shakazulu Try learning also from RSD Todd and see if his style suits your personality. IMO he's one of the greatest in teaching dating skills and concepts.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITvCEeHWXuM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hCKflUUrw4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzREjP6A6fo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az41hkLie6I

 

[Shakazulu]

@Raze these videos helped a lot! Thank you