Why do I feel loved when I'm hated?

[Tyler Robinson]

I don't know how to verbalize this or give it any context, it's hard because it's so abstract, something I feel but putting into words is just not going to be possible. 

So I don't know what to call this phenomenon, if it holds any spiritual value across time and space, but I end up feeling contradictory all the time, nothing seems normal or natural.  

When someone hates me, I still feel they love me. Why is that?

Deep down I still feel like they must have some teeny tiny amount of consideration for my well being.

Am I deluding myself? Is this harmful? 

 

 

[Vercingetorix]

depends on your definition of hate and love. Do you mean that when they feel anger (which is made out of body sensations+Thoughts) towards you, at the same time they feel Love (a positive warm feeling) for you?

[Tyler Robinson]

4 minutes ago, Vercingetorix said:

depends on your definition of hate and love. Do you mean that when they feel anger (which is made out of body sensations+Thoughts) towards you, at the same time they feel Love (a positive warm feeling) for you?

Yea.  Like if someone pushed me and ridiculed me, I feel they still care about me. It's a weird dynamic that I tend to look for love within hate. 

[Razard86]

16 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Yea.  Like if someone pushed me and ridiculed me, I feel they still care about me. It's a weird dynamic that I tend to look for love within hate. 

Love and hate are the same thing.

Notice a couple of things.

1. You only hate people who you love who betray you.

2. You only hate people who harm or threaten what you love (your loved ones, people you admire, your ideals or values, your possessions you care about, money, etc.)

3. Whatever you pay attention to you care about. To care about something is to love it. Most people when they REALLY hate someone they think about them often and ruminate, and steam over them. This means they are very attached, maybe even obsessed which is no different than someone who obsseses over someone they love deeply.

 

This is why reality is paradoxical. You love your enemies, just like you love yourself. You also love your fears, and you love your suffering.

Edited August 15, 2022 by Razard86

[Tyler Robinson]

4 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

This means they are very attached, maybe even obsessed which is no different than someone who obsseses over someone they love deeply.

Yea this same thought ran through my mind just now. 

[Razard86]

You are definitely waking up....welcome to infinity...we all don't make sense....LOL. To make sense.....is to pretend to be finite. We aren't we can't help to contradict its what infinity is....a contradiction. That is why comedy exists...comedy is PROOF of infinity.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Razard86 and what happens after that. 

Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. 

After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. 

 

[Razard86]

14 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@Razard86 and what happens after that. 

Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. 

After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. 

 

Well couple of things enlightenment helps you with.

1. Freedom from the mind's story and drama. You can choose to engage and disengage with the drama the mind creates.

2. Freedom from your own self-delusion (you can see your own B.S. and the B.S. of others much easier so its harder to be deluded).

3. As a result you become more loving, and enjoy life more.

4. Easier to overcome limiting beliefs/fears because you realize all limitations are self-imposed. 

5. You love others, but are detached from their feelings about you because you realize....your opinion of yourself is all that matters. You become self-loving, self-validating, self-accountable. 

6. You feel whole/complete, so you have a desire to share and serve others as a result as there is nothing for you to attain or become.

Edited August 15, 2022 by Razard86

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Yea.  Like if someone pushed me and ridiculed me, I feel they still care about me. It's a weird dynamic that I tend to look for love within hate. 

That is submission. If that person wanted to destroy your face with a knife and break your bones, then you would know what hate is and your reaction would be rage.

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

That is submission. If that person wanted to destroy your face with a knife and break your bones, then you would know what hate is and your reaction would be rage.

I'm trying to imagine them trying to kill me. But it seems I won't feel rage. I'm experiencing the emotion of helplessness when I imagine myself in such a situation. As though I am at their mercy and they would finish their job and they would get what they were hoping to achieve.. 

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

That is submission. If that person wanted to destroy your face with a knife and break your bones, then you would know what hate is and your reaction would be rage.

What's wrong with submission? To overcome your fears you have to submit to them. To get over being anxious you have to submit to what it is. Resistance, fighting, and control are all aspects of fear. 

Submission is the key to life. You don't try to control something...you attract it and it will come willingly. Submission and attraction is how to flow in life, if you are trying to force anything you are doing it wrong.

[gettoefl]

whenever a person crosses your path, whether or not you both communicate, even if you are sworn enemies, they are seeking to love you

they want for you the same portion they have for themselves

they want you to see feel affirm approve validate corroborate savor their existence

this is what love is

all is love viewed through a clean lens

[Breakingthewall]

@Razard86 @Tyler Robinson yeah, i guess that this is what jesus meant by turning the other cheek and that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the meek. any defense based on anger strengthens the ego

[Razard86]

On 8/16/2022 at 11:59 AM, Breakingthewall said:

@Razard86 @Tyler Robinson yeah, i guess that this is what jesus meant by turning the other cheek and that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the meek. any defense based on anger strengthens the ego

Well I am not saying be a pushover, sometimes you need to defend yourself or others. It's more like submission gets demonized when submission is literally how the species has survived. For example The Captain goes down with the ship is submission. He puts the lives of his crew and passengers before himself.

Parents basically give up their resources and time to raise their kids. That's submission.

A great leader puts the welfare of his people before his own= submission. The people risk their life for their great leader and follow the plan/orders=submission. 

If we didn't submit we cannot survive. Submission is a key part of life, it only gets demonized by those who are afraid to give up control.

[Breakingthewall]

@Razard86

Submission to aggression is not the same as voluntary submission to the group. the second is a fundamental characteristic of the human. the individual knows in an atavistic way that his survival as a species depends on the group and puts the group's good before his own. But on a mystical level, as Jesus said, submission means letting go of the current, not being reactive, since being reactive strengthens the ego. but sometimes we have to strengthen the ego and let it fulfill its function, and preserve our freedom.

[Ulax]

@Tyler Robinson Respectfully, I recall you previously saying you have BPD. To my understanding, this sounds very much like a BPD emotional reaction.

I'd recommend being wary of looking to the spiritual path for answers at this point in time.

[Razard86]

On 8/18/2022 at 3:50 AM, Breakingthewall said:

@Razard86

Submission to aggression is not the same as voluntary submission to the group. the second is a fundamental characteristic of the human. the individual knows in an atavistic way that his survival as a species depends on the group and puts the group's good before his own. But on a mystical level, as Jesus said, submission means letting go of the current, not being reactive, since being reactive strengthens the ego. but sometimes we have to strengthen the ego and let it fulfill its function, and preserve our freedom.

Yeah I agree. Basically there is no right way, you perform based on the needs at hand but trying to construct a model that can handle all situations doesn't exist.