What If Success To Me Looks Like Becoming Nobody

[BlessedLion]

So I’ve basically been living abroad for a while, out in nature. Recently I came back to the US and noticed that I was perceiving things a lot differently. I don’t know if things changed here or I have, but I used to totally dismiss socializing and status, I saw it as lame and could see the fakeness in it. I would make fun of the people like “oh we have dinner with the Johnsons on Tuesday and then drinks with the girls on Friday…” 

 

But coming back I see a new appreciation of it. Like just seeing friends having dinner together and stuff, it makes me wonder if I could enjoy that life. Parties, dinners, the fast life, etc. being a young person in a city, like the show freinds or something. It must be me that’s changed, but I just have way less judgement of it  

 

but another part of me loves living out in nature with my friends who love psychedelics, dance, and spirituality. They are 2 totally different worlds. 
 

I contemplated it and it feels like going for that “social city life” is more of a striving and attempt to fit in and be cool or accepted. While living in nature, spending barely any money and meditating all day (which someone from the city might call a lame lifestyle and a waste) feels so much more natural and authentic. But it does feel like I have to chose one or the other because I don’t like being halfway with my identity and I think there’s a lot of implications of what that might lead to down the road 10/20 years. 
 

any input is appreciated. 
 

do any of you guys live this like “social city life” ? How is it? Is it more glamorous looking than in reality? 
 

I kinda miss parties and friend circles and even all the stupid drama and gossip a bit of American city life.  But I don’t want to chase that and then be like fuck “This is so hollow, I should’ve followed my calling to be a hippie in nature” 

thanks 

[Thought Art]

Sounds like you just need to do what makes you happy. 
 

Nothing wrong with socializing and there’s many people you will meet with similar interests.

Just experiment and find out. 

[gettoefl]

both is best i'd say ... being an outsider isn't good being an insider gets old, balance is where it's at

you can have your cake and eat it too

nothing to stop us each day doing 8 hours sleep 8 hours inside 8 hours outside

all those domains are important, nothing better than socializing and nothing better than meditating

we are lucky in this day and age that we need shut no door, take advantage of this and live full on all fronts

[Nilsi]

Why choose? Set up your life in a way where you can enjoy both. I'm currently traveling around visiting all my friends and partying a lot, and it's fucking amazing, but I'm also looking forward to being alone and working on my life purpose again. I love the dialectic between both ends, it really makes you appreciate things more. I used to live basically like a hermit for 4 years, and it was amazing in a sense, but there was also always something missing. Nowadays I like to just go out once a week and have some fun and enjoy myself and then come back to my work with a clear head. I don't think I ever want to go back to either extreme, socializing is a lot of fun, but doing serious work is also fucking meaningful, for me at least.

[BlessedLion]

11 hours ago, gettoefl said:

both is best i'd say ... being an outsider isn't good being an insider gets old, balance is where it's at

you can have your cake and eat it too

nothing to stop us each day doing 8 hours sleep 8 hours inside 8 hours outside

all those domains are important, nothing better than socializing and nothing better than meditating

we are lucky in this day and age that we need shut no door, take advantage of this and live full on all fronts

Well put man, we really do live in a time where you can have it all

[BlessedLion]

9 hours ago, Nilsi said:

Why choose? Set up your life in a way where you can enjoy both. I'm currently traveling around visiting all my friends and partying a lot, and it's fucking amazing, but I'm also looking forward to being alone and working on my life purpose again. I love the dialectic between both ends, it really makes you appreciate things more. I used to live basically like a hermit for 4 years, and it was amazing in a sense, but there was also always something missing. Nowadays I like to just go out once a week and have some fun and enjoy myself and then come back to my work with a clear head. I don't think I ever want to go back to either extreme, socializing is a lot of fun, but doing serious work is also fucking meaningful, for me at least.

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. 
 

I think in a year or so my life will look like that. But I think for the next year I want go full hermit and deep into nature isolation and spirituality. Then merge it so I can enjoy it more  

[Devin]

On 8/14/2022 at 6:39 PM, BlessedLion said:

So I’ve basically been living abroad for a while, out in nature. Recently I came back to the US and noticed that I was perceiving things a lot differently. I don’t know if things changed here or I have, but I used to totally dismiss socializing and status, I saw it as lame and could see the fakeness in it. I would make fun of the people like “oh we have dinner with the Johnsons on Tuesday and then drinks with the girls on Friday…” 

 

But coming back I see a new appreciation of it. Like just seeing friends having dinner together and stuff, it makes me wonder if I could enjoy that life. Parties, dinners, the fast life, etc. being a young person in a city, like the show freinds or something. It must be me that’s changed, but I just have way less judgement of it  

 

but another part of me loves living out in nature with my friends who love psychedelics, dance, and spirituality. They are 2 totally different worlds. 
 

I contemplated it and it feels like going for that “social city life” is more of a striving and attempt to fit in and be cool or accepted. While living in nature, spending barely any money and meditating all day (which someone from the city might call a lame lifestyle and a waste) feels so much more natural and authentic. But it does feel like I have to chose one or the other because I don’t like being halfway with my identity and I think there’s a lot of implications of what that might lead to down the road 10/20 years. 
 

any input is appreciated. 
 

do any of you guys live this like “social city life” ? How is it? Is it more glamorous looking than in reality? 
 

I kinda miss parties and friend circles and even all the stupid drama and gossip a bit of American city life.  But I don’t want to chase that and then be like fuck “This is so hollow, I should’ve followed my calling to be a hippie in nature” 

thanks 

You can have both, that's not being halfway in your identity, that's 100% you, the other way is you subscribing to some perceived social category.

[hoodrow trillson]

If you see the "rat race" and "social city life" as a game, you could totally have fun with it.  Unwind and relax and have fun!  Drink some beer, eat some food, laugh with your friends!  And when nature calls you, just pick up the phone and go out in it!

Best of both worlds and you'll appreciate the other when you get used to one of them at a time!

[BipolarGrowth]

Nobody has a way of becoming somebody.