Mechanisms behind anxiety

[Osaid]

Anxiety is resistance.

Reality is one way, if you try to resist reality, anxiety is created.

Anxiety is a game you will always lose. Anxiety is created because you are projecting standards onto reality which are impossible to meet. If it was possible to meet, anxiety would cease to exist, because there is nothing to resist. You can't have anxiety without resisting something. 

Let's say someone is scared of what people think of them and they experience anxiety over it. This person has already shot themselves in the foot, and they will suffer anxiety for the rest of their lives until they decide to stop playing the game they have created. Let's look at the rules they have created in this game:

1. No one can think badly of me

2. I have to control what everyone thinks

Do you see now? This game of anxiety is completely unwinnable and unsustainable. It's just silly. Of course your life is going to be riddled with fear and worry and anxiety when you set rules like this up for yourself. You've set up rules for yourself which force reality to be against you.

The reason why people experience so much drama and anxiety is because they are constantly setting up impossible little games like this for themselves.

The feeling of anxiety is reality telling you "you cannot ignore this facet of me, you need to surrender to me and appreciate me and love me and accept me".

You have two choices:

1. Constant emotional suffering because you're deciding to play a game where the rules are rigged against you

2. Realizing your games are unwinnable and getting over it. Alignment with reality, no resistance, no suffering, no silly rules to pertain to.

It's time to stop constantly contorting and resisting and tip-toeing around reality. It's not a game worth playing. It's not a sustainable way to live life. When you stop playing these games, reality will welcome you with open arms, and you will think "why the hell was I playing those stupid games before instead of just being at peace here?"

Next time you feel anxiety, ask yourself:

How am I denying reality? Where is the resistance coming from? Where is reality disagreeing with me? How am I setting unwinnable standards?

You can actually purge your anxiety by confronting it this way. When you realize how silly and impossible the rules you set up is, there will be a deep sense of surrender, and a feeling of peace will flow over you when you are finally in alignment with truth and reality. You will realize it is much easier and much more efficient to just go along with reality instead of eternally resisting.

Truth is, anxiety is unnecessary. It's primitive. It makes you nervous and fluster over your words, it's not productive. There is no situation in reality where you want to experience anxiety, it doesn't feel nice. You want to feel good, not bad. There is no reason for you to rationalize that anxiety is good or beneficial in some way. Ideally, you don't want it. You would rather have it be removed while everything else stays the same. This is possible to achieve. You might say anxiety is a motivator of some sort, sure, but that's like the most primitive form of motivation ever, and it motivates through pain and suffering, which means it is unsustainable in the long run. You can be motivated without anxiety. That's what you really want.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Osaid

[ThePoint]

Thank you.

What about anxiety of going to prison?

It could be for something you didn’t do, or for something you did many years ago, or for something that is outlawed but gives you personal growth like psychedelics. 

Please let me know what you think of all three examples. 

[Osaid]

On 8/14/2022 at 0:11 AM, ThePoint said:

What about anxiety of going to prison?

There are many ways to approach this. I would say this post of mine only highlights about one or two mechanisms behind fear and anxiety. 

Just from this, I would contemplate a few questions, like:

Why am I scared of going to prison? When was I not scared of going to prison? Was there some moment in my past or childhood that made me more afraid of going to prison? (maybe someone threatened to get you in trouble with the law). When I encounter a situation which flares up this anxiety of mine, what am I  imagining about the situation which is creating that anxiety? How realistic is that imagination? Why am I imagining that? Is what I am imagining really something I should be afraid of?

Something to consider is that most people have a fear of going to prison, to some degree, whether consciously or subconsciously. No one wants to go to prison. In that sense, your fear is somewhat reasonable. It's just that, for whatever reason, your fear has reached heights which are disproportionate to reality. It's like someone locking themselves inside their house because they are afraid of getting struck by lightning. I think you are probably aware by this point that it is irrational, though, I'm just making sure to point this out.

On 8/14/2022 at 0:11 AM, ThePoint said:

It could be for something you didn’t do, or for something you did many years ago, or for something that is outlawed but gives you personal growth like psychedelics. 

Please let me know what you think of all three examples. 

Your imagination allows you to suffer things which have not happened yet, or even things that will never happen. This is how anxiety is created. But first, you need to believe in your imagination. You need to buy into it. For some reason, you are believing in your imagination that you will get sent to jail, even though you've probably never been to jail. Reality is different from what you imagine, yet you still imagine it.

The truth of the matter is, you don't know what is going to happen. You don't know if you are going to prison or not, you're just assuming that by default for some reason. You don't even know how the laws work. It would be just as valid to just make up a law in your head and treat it as a real law. Think about how many times you expected something from a certain situation, and then something completely opposite happened. You're just imagining a scenario of you going to prison, and then believing in it, and that is causing you anxiety. Anyone would feel fear if they actually believed in a scenario like that. The difference is, they don't believe something like that is gonna happen to them, but you do. Reality is very unpredictable and perspectival. Your fears are literally shaping how you perceive situations, similar to how you can either see a bunny or duck in that one optical illusion. There are many situations where you expected something to be a certain way, but it was actually completely different.

The reason why you are experiencing fear of you going to jail is because you are assuming things which are not real, and you don't even question it. For the scenarios you fear, you just assume that you might go to jail for something. I understand that there are many laws, it's a domain which is hard to fully understand, but that doesn't really give you the green light to just assume you're gonna get sent to jail. Your fear is acting as a placeholder for your lack of knowledge. You don't understand it, but you still assume your imagination is accurate. This is your bias and unrealistic standard which you are projecting everywhere. Of course you're gonna have anxiety when you are assuming by default you are going to be in trouble with the law if you don't act a certain way.

You are fearing the situation you are imagining, not the situation itself, that is how you fear things which haven't even occurred yet. Imagination can be inaccurate. It can be fantastical. Why do you trust it so much? Why do you give it so much authority?

Lack of knowledge creates space for fear. Fear is a defense mechanism to make up for lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge means that some part of reality is left unknown, and when something is left unknown it potentiates danger. The thing is, your ego has a strong bias towards survival. It is going to assume "danger" not "safety", even if it is unreasonable or might not be true. Your ego has a very cutthroat safety mechanism.

Next time you feel anxiety about going to jail over something stupid, I want you to pay attention to the what you are imagining which is causing you anxiety in that moment, and then realize that you actually do not know what is going to happen. What you are imagining is just that, imagination. Your imagination is not actually occurring in that moment, or any moment. You might as well imagine a unicorn in there too. When has your imagination of a situation been 100% accurate? You don't know the laws, you're just assuming. Think back to all the times you were scared of going to jail and then in the actual experience itself nothing happened. Really feel into that feeling of not knowing. Then, actually do the thing that you are scared of doing, and once it's over and you aren't in jail, take note of that. You were wrong. You were panicking over something that is completely wrong. Really let that sink in. Do you really want to let your imagination run your life like that? You might as well imagine a boogeyman under your bed too.

Having anxiety over this is impractical and unproductive. It's not gonna make you better at avoiding the law, it's just going to worsen your quality of life overall. Prioritize not having anxiety over rationalizing whether it makes sense to have anxiety or not. Above everything else, it's better to just feel good and be at peace. Just remember, whenever you feel anxiety, it is because of some inaccurate perception of reality. It's not worth even contemplating or pursuing. The structure of anxiety is the same, but the content might be different.

On 8/14/2022 at 0:11 AM, ThePoint said:

It could be for something you didn’t do

This is always a possibility, therefore the only option is to let go and surrender, or continue to try to resist something that will always be a part of reality. You might lessen or increase your chances of getting caught, but the truth of the matter is, you are never going to eliminate this aspect of reality, and your ego mind will always worry about it until you decide to surrender to it. Surrendering means, realizing that there absolutely nothing you can do that will change this. When you realize this, it makes things very simple, because then all you have to do is stop needlessly suffering and worrying over it. At that point it just doesn't make any sense to worry over it. This is what surrendering and accepting is. 

Do you really want to suffer over things that haven't even happened? Things you didn't even do? Come on now, how much more authority are you going to give to your imagination before you realize how unrealistic and unproductive it is?

Ask yourself. why are you not having anxiety right now about the fact that you are inevitably going to die at some point? Everyone dies since everyone is human, but you aren't having anxiety over death when you live your everyday life. You're not having anxiety over death when you're at the club with your friends. It's because everyone has accepted and surrendered to the fact that they will eventually die. They have realized it's not worth constantly stressing over, and that all that will do is lower your quality of life. Now do this with your fear of jail.

On 8/14/2022 at 0:11 AM, ThePoint said:

or for something you did many years ago

You can't go back in time and change what you did. Either you stop worrying, or continue to sabotage yourself over something that is impossible to change, your choice. 

On 8/14/2022 at 0:11 AM, ThePoint said:

something that is outlawed but gives you personal growth like psychedelics. 

Weigh all your options. There are legal and illegal ways of doing things. And make sure you don't have any anxiety while you do this, cause anxiety is unnecessary suffering. You can avoid things without fearing them. Even in radical and extreme situations, anxiety is just needless suffering, do you see? You're not gonna rationalize or logic your way into anxiety. You're not gonna be like "I need anxiety in this situation" or "I want anxiety". Anxiety is always just an unconscious byproduct of inaccurate perception. If you take psychedelics, are you gonna worry for the rest of your life if some authority is gonna catch you for it? At a point, that worry becomes unproductive and detrimental to your overall quality of life. Maybe for the first few weeks or month it is somewhat reasonable, but at a certain point it just become obsolete and unnecessary. Common sense and reason should kick in and tell you, "Ok it looks like nothing is actually gonna happen regarding this. And even if something does happen, I have no way of influencing or predicting it. I can either stress myself out for the rest of my life or just be at peace with it at this point and move on with my life". It's like living the rest of your life constantly worrying about a meteor striking you.

Here are your rules that you have created for yourself

1. I have to have every single law memorized

2. I have to manage and control every single possible human being that might perceive my actions as illegal

Do you see why there is so much discord and resistance in your reality now? These rules are unmanageable. Surrender. Stop playing unwinnable games. Any form of anxiety is something that needs to be contemplated and purged.

This is definitely a fear someone who overthinks and stays in their head a lot would have. You don't really understand how things work, so you're left to assume it and come up with crazy stories in your head. Next time you feel like you're doing something illegal but you know it is completely reasonable, just go for it. Use that feeling of anxiety as a guidepost for the phobia you need to purge. Every time you stand up for yourself or do something that gives you anxiety you should think "Wow I just stood up for myself and my emotions and wellbeing. I finally gave myself the love and respect I deserve". And also, take very good note of what actually happens, you didn't go to jail. No one was even bothered by you. Hell, they were probably super nice to you.  Start realizing that your imagination of the situation is completely wrong and that you cannot accurately predict what people are thinking. You are not a psychic. Stop kidding yourself. It might even help to have someone else, a friend or family member, do those things in front of you. 

If it is reasonable and you know you are not doing something malicious, go for it. It's just gonna make you stronger as a person. Have more trust and faith in yourself. You are not a criminal. You are not someone who wants to commit crime. You know this very well. Start acting like it. If you're not a criminal, why are you so scared of jail?

 

 

 

 

[Someone here]

 

Imo ,Anxiety is basically hightened stress response. People who have anxiety react to triggers that most would not. It could be something as small as getting a call, going outside or getting ready for an event.

The question that follows is why some people react so strongly to triggers that are not objectively stressful.

This comes from a low self-esteem.. people who are constantly doubtful of themselves, their choices and decisions. Such people are those who have become too identified with their thoughts .thoughts which are often self-loathing and reproachful. They have to deal with inner voices that often say things like, “you aren't enough”, “your future looks bleak”, “you are ugly”, “you should just give up”, “you cannot do this”.

The problem is they do not realise that these self-loathing voices are not their own. They become too identified with these. Left untreated, these voices take over the subconscious as well in which case anxiety gets worse.

[Aaron p]

MASSIVE insight relating to anxiety. Be ->super-< aware of simple, non-spiritual habits that cause anxiety:

- Any habitual and reoccurring consumption of drugs, and chemicals. In order of instrumentality:

#1 Top ranking anxiety causing drug Weed (if you struggle with anxiety and you smoke weed and your trying to tackle your anxiety without stopping smoking, you might as well go hunting and leave your gun behind and just use your hands to try kill the bear. It's laughable how obvious this is to me now, for a lot of people).

2# Any Doctor medication you take on a reoccurring basis. Always go with your doctor's advice over someone not professionally qualified, but always be willing to exercise healthy skepticism in the area of, doctor prescribed, medicine if your struggling with anxiety [or any issues, psychological or even physical]...some doctors are #shit and just because they have a degree doesent mean they or their prescriptions are perfectly suited to your biology, at the end of the day...everyone's body will react slightly different to drugs (legal or illegal) and doctors deal with a lott of people, they don't have time to investigate your individual biology unless you pay them and even when they do they miss stuff.

#3 Caffeine and other stimulants. 

Anything that is a drug, substance, or consumable that you take on a reoccurring basis that is in any way psychoactive even indirectly. Even certain foods and drinks... Some slightly more observable ones are energy drinks or deep fried chicken fast food

And...

- Not enough exposure to environments (physical, social etc). With this one I have found that reaching a point where you are sick to the back teeth of dealing with anxiety and deciding that you can't live with it anymore and you start staring it back right in its eye and choosing to basically say fuck you...it's also realising that your anxiety is not you, like your heart, it can literally be removed and replaced and yet you are not replaced...if your anxiety makes you scared of going near a certain place, metaphorically, you go to the direct center of that spot and fucking BREAKDANCE for 3 hours then you open your calendar and you schedule yourself a new habit to do that once a week for as long as it takes until your anxiety is lying on the floor dead. Amen

In short, you kind of need to choose to become a badass who does not fear, fear. 

Often times you'll find that [if have a problem that is affecting your quality of life] the longer you leave it to fester the more it'll grow and the more you will have developed further fear and respect for it. So you might as well just go directly to the heart of it today and rip it out. It's also usually not as bad as the imagination makes it out to be when you do it for real

Edited September 3, 2022 by Aaron p

[Osaid]

4 hours ago, Aaron p said:

With this one I have found that reaching a point where you are sick to the back teeth of dealing with anxiety and deciding that you can't live with it anymore and you start staring it back right in its eye and choosing to basically say fuck you..

Haha yeah this is super accurate ime

Eventually you reach a breaking point where you're like "fuck it, it's time to start standing up for my desires and my own emotional wellbeing." Enough fear. Confront what you fear out of love for yourself.

6 hours ago, Someone here said:

This comes from a low self-esteem.. people who are constantly doubtful of themselves, their choices and decisions. Such people are those who have become too identified with their thoughts .thoughts which are often self-loathing and reproachful. They have to deal with inner voices that often say things like, “you aren't enough”, “your future looks bleak”, “you are ugly”, “you should just give up”, “you cannot do this”.

The anxiety and fear IS the low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is just a lack of love for yourself. When you have anxiety over calling someone or entering a social situation, you are putting that other person over your own desires and well-being. When you're scared of saying no to someone, you're doing it to prevent them from feeling bad or giving a negative response, but notice that in order to do this you are making yourself feel bad for them. This is parasitic, in the sense that you are suffering while they are gaining, because you feel some unfounded obligation to control their feelings and what they think about you. You are making yourself a doormat. If you loved and respected your own desires, you would not do this. It boils down to a lack of love and care for your desires and emotional well-being.

People are deathly afraid of social events because the standards they set themselves are so unrealistic and impossible to maintain. It's basically guaranteed that someone will think badly of them if they go to a lot of social events, so they are riddled with anxiety because they cannot accept that reality and instead decide to run away from it forever and stay in denial.

[shallotsometimes]

This genuinely made me feel better, thank you.

I feel kind of shitty right now and I'm always anxious and embarrassed after venting or sharing anything that makes me not look how I "should" ie composed and thoughtful. Or for sharing an opinion when I don't know how anyone else is going to feel about it. I have to continuously remind myself how ridiculous it is to try to maintain a false image and control what people think of me. It's better to air out some ugliness and messiness than to stay fearful and avoidant to keep up a version of myself that only exists in my head.

[Osaid]

6 hours ago, shallotsometimes said:

I feel kind of shitty right now and I'm always anxious and embarrassed after venting or sharing anything that makes me not look how I "should" ie composed and thoughtful. Or for sharing an opinion when I don't know how anyone else is going to feel about it. I have to continuously remind myself how ridiculous it is to try to maintain a false image and control what people think of me. It's better to air out some ugliness and messiness than to stay fearful and avoidant to keep up a version of myself that only exists in my head.

All the love you need is within you, of course. Where else would it be? You are the only one that can understand and love yourself completely, because you are yourself. You're just using other people as a proxy to feel bad about yourself, but in the end, it's YOU deciding that you should feel bad because someone thinks a certain way. There is no reason for you to delegate your self-worth to what other people think, it is just an arbitrary survival mechanism you have unwittingly taken on. Reclaim your authority.

The only one who can judge is YOURSELF. ITS ALL YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. You judge yourself for being judged by others. You judge yourself for being spited by ignorant people. You use other people as an excuse to feel bad about yourself. This is the real tragedy. Learn to love yourself. You know yourself better than anyone because you are you, and you know that you deserve love, so love yourself. Give yourself permission to do that much at least. You can literally decide to love and accept yourself right now, but you feel resistance because your ego desperately wants to cling to the game you've created.

6 hours ago, shallotsometimes said:

It's better to air out some ugliness and messiness than to stay fearful and avoidant to keep up a version of myself that only exists in my head.

You can be less messy and less ugly. You can strive towards better versions of yourself. Just don't delude yourself into thinking you can fully control people's minds and perception of you in the process. Even after improving yourself there are going to be people who think you haven't improved at all, and you need to be ok with that instead of trying to manipulate what they think of you.

This isn't even a bad thing. This weeds out people you wouldn't want in your life. It gets rid of people who are unable to accept you. It gets rid of people who are unable to mesh with you. It's a natural filtering system. If you are constantly trying to maintain a false image in order to keep your status in some group, it is a parasitic relationship because it makes you suffer needlessly, and it will eventually fall apart because it is based on falsehood. You're being too clingy, just learn to love yourself without all the extra trouble and baggage, go straight to the source which is YOU.

Edited September 4, 2022 by Osaid

[Breakingthewall]

anxiety is the dissonance between what is and what should be. On a deep level, if you're not awake, your life is basically anxiety. suffering as buddha said. You are an organism that ages and is exposed to a thousand dangers that will inevitably end up killing it, and what it should be is:  survive. This is the basic anxiety, and from it all the other secondary anxieties branch off. The only way to equalize the dissonance between what should be and what is is to awake. realizing God and the fact of what is is exactly what it should be. end of anxiety

Edited September 4, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[shallotsometimes]

 

On 9/4/2022 at 7:35 AM, Osaid said:

The only one who can judge is YOURSELF. ITS ALL YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. You judge yourself for being judged by others. You judge yourself for being spited by ignorant people. You use other people as an excuse to feel bad about yourself. This is the real tragedy. Learn to love yourself. You know yourself better than anyone because you are you, and you know that you deserve love, so love yourself. Give yourself permission to do that much at least. You can literally decide to love and accept yourself right now, but you feel resistance because your ego desperately wants to cling to the game you've created.

On 9/4/2022 at 7:35 AM, Osaid said:

This isn't even a bad thing. This weeds out people you wouldn't want in your life. It gets rid of people who are unable to accept you. It gets rid of people who are unable to mesh with you. It's a natural filtering system. If you are constantly trying to maintain a false image in order to keep your status in some group, it is a parasitic relationship because it makes you suffer needlessly, and it will eventually fall apart because it is based on falsehood. You're being too clingy, just learn to love yourself without all the extra trouble and baggage, go straight to the source which is YOU.

True. Part of me is convinced I will wind up completely alone if I let myself be fully seen but would I want people around who love an image and not me anyway? It's too painful to not be myself at this point. There are too many downsides.