I am a fear of disappearing

[Fred Fulton]

Hi

Just about to do a triathlon for the first time and spent a sleepless last night trying to understand what I am fearful of. Realized it’s not that I am fearful of disappearing but I am that fear. That is me - that is I.

Dont know what to do next. Caught between needing to build myself up to survive and needing to entirely let go of myself. It’s exhausting me.
 

love to you all and thanks for your wisdom.

Paul

[Rajeswar]

Same phase me too , caught between the two 

 

[Breakingthewall]

3 hours ago, Fred Fulton said:

Realized it’s not that I am fearful of disappearing but I am that fear. That is me -

good realization, there is nothing like a sleepless night to understand things. I would say that we are defined by patterns formed by fear. without them, we would be completely undefined, there would be no me. It would be enlightenment, the breadth without limits. Fear has deep roots and virtually no one can get rid of it, but it's a good goal to try. Understand the roots of the fear is the first step 

[Fred Fulton]

Thanks - appreciated 

[gettoefl]

f-eel e-verything a- r-isk

is it ok to venture out yet? nah why not wallow here a few more eons

[Fred Fulton]

Ha - thanks