Is being territorial a red flag?

[Tyler Robinson]

If the guy I'm dating wants to get a tattoo of me in the first month of our relationship, would that be a red flag? 

Is he being territorial. I read somewhere that being territorial is a red flag. But why? 

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

If the guy I'm dating wants to get a tattoo of me in the first month of our relationship, would that be a red flag? 

If a woman did that with me I would run as fast as I can.

It's not territorial for me, it's just utterly bizarre.

He doesn't even know you yet.

[Tyler Robinson]

@DefinitelyNotARobot it wasn't a joke. He seriously wanted it

Shouldn't it mean that he is attached to me? 

 

 

[aurum]

34 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@DefinitelyNotARobot it wasn't a joke. He seriously wanted it

Shouldn't it mean that he is attached to me? 

 

 

Attachment is not always healthy. See the book by Rachel Heller literally entitled Attached.

There could be major drama in the near future. Attachment tends to have this sort of push pull, hate me love me, explosive dynamic to it.

[NoSelfSelf]

All it means hes nothing without you

[assx95]

5 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

If the guy I'm dating wants to get a tattoo of me in the first month of our relationship, would that be a red flag? 

Is he being territorial. I read somewhere that being territorial is a red flag. But why? 

Does the guy have tattoos of other women as well? If yes, something's fishy. If you are the first, then i don't think so. 

Men are territorial. Why would you expect the opposite? 

I think it is wiser to go by how you feel, and not by societal standards such as - Being territorial is a red flag, or getting a tattoo in the first month of relationship means something's not right. 

You could end up losing a guy who loves you dearly. 

Anyway, what are your values? How do you want your guy to be? 

I have a feeling you might leave him. Do it before he gets the tattoo. Save both of you if you feel like that. 

[something_else]

The fuck?

You need to run for the fucking hills, that is not healthy behaviour

[Leo Gura]

He's not being territorial, he's just being stupid

Territorial would be if he wanted his named tattooed on your ass

[puporing]

LOL. Maybe coz God is also a hopeless romantic.

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, puporing said:

LOL. Maybe coz God is also a hopeless romantic.

That was so sweet haha. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

 

I have a feeling you might leave him.

Why do you think that? 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

The fuck?

You need to run for the fucking hills, that is not healthy behaviour

Can you explain why? I want to know what his behavior means specifically!

[Tyler Robinson]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

Does the guy have tattoos of other women as well? If yes, something's fishy. If you are the first, then i don't think so. 

I'm his third. He doesn't have tattoos of his exes. 

 

[assx95]

22 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Why do you think that? 

Firstly, the overwhelming response here is not in favor of the guy you're dating. So, if you're swayed by what is being said here, sooner or later, you'll leave him and find someone who doesn't carry any of these red flags.  

Secondly, you are logically picking apart your relationship, by actively wanting to know if it's a red flag, turns out in theory, it is. No one here knows any context besides what you stated. Ask the guy himself why he wants a tattoo of you. I don't get the whole idea of ending a relationship cause it has some red flags. Contrast this guy with the guy who'd sleep with you, and then dump you. He'll have no red flags in sight until he leaves. A tattoo is an inscription, and he wants to do one of you, so you're important in his life. That's what it most likely means. 

The more important questions are- How does the guy make you feel? Do you feel secure? Do you feel loved? Are you happy with him? Contemplate your relationships. Think for yourself. 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, assx95 said:

The more important questions are- How does the guy make you feel? Do you feel secure? Do you feel loved? Are you happy with him? Contemplate your relationships. Think for yourself. 

He does make me feel loved and secure. He can be a bit strict sometimes. Like he wouldn't want my hair a certain way. 

But he is protective. 

 

Edited August 12, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Kksd74628]

@Tyler Robinson

What you should do is if you really love and care about him then go 100% to it, because he has maybe had problematic relationships where girls have left him. Core principle is that which you show to others is what you want/need from him/her. Therefore because he shows some type of loyalty to you he'd really want you to be loyal to him. He obviously loves you and would like to be in long term relationship with you. It isn't his fault that he experienced what he experienced and therefore you should forgive his weird behaviour.

Relationship is all about growing together and accepting each others' challenges. Just let him know that you'll stay, if that's really in the case and he'll be happy. Red flag thing is kind of joke, because end of the day it's all about you how much you can live with the con sides of him. Nowadays people give up too easily and end up not finding anyone, because everyone has some "red flags". The only thing which matters is that if you 2 love each others and that's it. If there are some challenges then speak about them and come into good conclusions.

With love -joNi- 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Kksd74628 but then everywhere I read about it, people say that it's a red flag and unhealthy behavior on his end, even on this thread. This is the reason why I was prompted to ask. Can you explain me the reason behind this reaction?

[Tyler Robinson]

11 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Tyler Robinson

What you should do is if you really love and care about him then go 100% to it, because he has maybe had problematic relationships where girls have left him. Core principle is that which you show to others is what you want/need from him/her. Therefore because he shows some type of loyalty to you he'd really want you to be loyal to him. He obviously loves you and would like to be in long term relationship with you. It isn't his fault that he experienced what he experienced and therefore you should forgive his weird behaviour.

Relationship is all about growing together and accepting each others' challenges. Just let him know that you'll stay, if that's really in the case and he'll be happy. Red flag thing is kind of joke, because end of the day it's all about you how much you can live with the con sides of him. Nowadays people give up too easily and end up not finding anyone, because everyone has some "red flags". The only thing which matters is that if you 2 love each others and that's it. If there are some challenges then speak about them and come into good conclusions.

With love -joNi- 

I actually really appreciate this idea. I think relationships should be this way. It should be like "why care about what the world thinks," right?

[Kksd74628]

@Tyler Robinson

It isn't some rocket science as I explained previously. I saw from your journey that you would want to lay at him arms and be with him then that's what love is. You think about him and ask questions about him. If there wouldn't be any attraction you'd just left him, because of what he has done and you wouldn't be here asking these questions. Again the point is not to find partner who is the most developped, but the one who you authentically love and would like to grow with. That just means that you'll have lot of experiences and things to do with him.

The whole red flag thing tries to show that there has been some problems in him/her life that causes some bad behaviours, but it itself shouldn't be reason not to do what your heart tells you. When love is not there the game is over and vice versa. All his behaviours may be because your and his status and state isn't too clear and he is stressing about it. You should see that true love melts and fixes all weird behaviours until love is only thing which stays. His behaviour just tells that he has lived a life with challenges and punches straight to the head.

Just message me in pm and I'll drop my number if you want to have conversation about this thing and I'd be happy to help ya : )

Lovingly -joNi- ? ? ? 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Kksd74628 thank you so much Joni.