I'm slipping into incel mentality

[RMQualtrough]

On 14/08/2022 at 6:31 AM, Bando said:

Mods you guys allow crap like this to be posted?

Fucking LOL.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 8/10/2022 at 3:52 PM, Nilsi said:

you have to start with making yourself uncomfortable

Opioid withdrawal tends to make people pretty damn uncomfortable. Might that help?

Why do guys like OP get called creeps? Because they make people feel uncomfortable. But here we are in the self help community saying it’s good to be uncomfortable. What gives? It’s like the very feeling we unintentionally cause in others is what we need to feel more of ourselves if we want to evolve.

Edited August 16, 2022 by Emotionalmosquito

[Emotionalmosquito]

These are your best years when your hormones are raging, when you are in your best shape and your boner is rock hard, your body and your mind is craving for sex. Genuine emotions, kissing, cuddling and skin contact with your significant other is what makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied because it releases oxytocin which is crucial for stable mental health, healthy nervous and cardiovascular systems, it can literally cure depression, anxiety, neurosis. Missing this vital experience will pernamently damage your mental health and nervous system. No wonder why adult virgins are so depressed, unproductive. neurotic, immature and have no strenght to leave their rooms let alone working and studying. You will simply become disabled.

The modern world and its ventures are designed for socialized couples, not lonely guys, couples are more likely to be invited and are getting preferential treatments and expading network. Incels are like ghosts, they rarely leave their houses, they have no presence on social media, they're seeing the social disparity and are ashamed of even giving a sign of their existence. That's why you don't see them, even if they try they get treated like shit while being gaslighted. It's a double whammy for them, they are like half-dead fishes lying on the bottom of the oceans while normies are like dolphins vigorously jumping out of water.

 

Edited August 16, 2022 by Emotionalmosquito

[Emotionalmosquito]

To all the people telling him to focus on himself and his life first: refer to

On 8/10/2022 at 2:53 PM, Someone here said:

I don't know what to say, honestly.  I am fit and healthy, I consider myself good looking .I take care of myself, I have hobbies/interests, yet here I at 26 and it feels like every woman I ever meet in isn't interested in me in any shape or form.

Beautiful post OP. I don’t think any other post on here has resonated more deeply. Especially:

On 8/10/2022 at 2:53 PM, Someone here said:

I cant be anywhere near girls because anything i do is considered "creepy". every other guy is fine but im a "creep" just because the way i come off. ive never harassed anyone i just exist and that a problem. everyone subconsciously wants me to hang myself in the woods and not exist. I'm beginning to get paranoid about it .

This has been a recurring theme for most of my life even though I’m trying my best. It’s like you can’t even feel safe trying anymore. It has given me dreams where I’ll be having a good time with a new group I just met only to be met by managers or cops telling me to exit. I made a thread about an injustice at a bar about a year ago and one of the only people that said it wasn’t all my fault was one of the mods.

I feel like I’ve tried just about everything and I’m running out of options.

[Devin]

5 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

To all the people telling him to focus on himself and his life first: refer to

Beautiful post OP. I don’t think any other post on here has resonated more deeply. Especially:

This has been a recurring theme for most of my life even though I’m trying my best. It’s like you can’t even feel safe trying anymore. It has given me dreams where I’ll be having a good time with a new group I just met only to be met by managers or cops telling me to exit. I made a thread about an injustice at a bar about a year ago and one of the only people that said it wasn’t all my fault was one of the mods.

I feel like I’ve tried just about everything and I’m running out of options.

Try not believing the crap you put in the previous post, it's a lie you're telling yourself, single guys can have great lives socially and solo

Edited August 16, 2022 by Devin

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Devin ok. You’re entitled to that view point. But I’m not clear on the reasoning behind quoting what you quoted then referring to a different post.

[something_else]

Quote

I cant be anywhere near girls because anything i do is considered "creepy". every other guy is fine but im a "creep" just because the way i come off. ive never harassed anyone i just exist and that a problem. everyone subconsciously wants me to hang myself in the woods and not exist. I'm beginning to get paranoid about it .

Quote

This has been a recurring theme for most of my life even though I’m trying my best. It’s like you can’t even feel safe trying anymore. It has given me dreams where I’ll be having a good time with a new group I just met only to be met by managers or cops telling me to exit. I made a thread about an injustice at a bar about a year ago and one of the only people that said it wasn’t all my fault was one of the mods.

I feel like I’ve tried just about everything and I’m running out of options.

The problem is that it's a vicious cycle. You do one or two creepy things when you are socially inexperienced and then that makes you start to believe that you 'are just a creepy person and no one will like you' which makes you assume people will find you creepy in future interactions, so you try really hard not to be creepy, which actually makes you come across more creepily, which reinforces these beliefs that you are creepy, repeat ad infinitum.

I don't really know the solution, but this is 100% the cause. You can see it in the way you both write. You believe you are just creepy people. Which is obviously not objectively true, but your deeply held beliefs make it reality for you

[Devin]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@Devin ok. You’re entitled to that view point. But I’m not clear on the reasoning behind quoting what you quoted then referring to a different post.

The one I quoted says " you tried everything" , I was offering something to try

Edited August 16, 2022 by Devin

[BlessedLion]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

The problem is that it's a vicious cycle. You do one or two creepy things when you are socially inexperienced and then that makes you start to believe that you 'are just a creepy person and no one will like you' which makes you assume people will find you creepy in future interactions, so you try really hard not to be creepy, which actually makes you come across more creepily, which reinforces these beliefs that you are creepy, repeat ad infinitum.

I don't really know the solution, but this is 100% the cause. You can see it in the way you both write. You believe you are just creepy people. Which is obviously not objectively true, but your deeply held beliefs make it reality for you

Bang on. 
 

also about the oxytocin comment from mosquito, you can get those same chemicals elsewhere. Meditation excercise and reading all release it

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 8/16/2022 at 9:34 AM, Devin said:

The one I quoted says " you tried everything" , I was offering something to try

Gotcha. It through me off because I didn’t know you were mainly referring to that part. 

It may be possible to have a fulfilled life as a single, but only if you have had plenty of experience already. It’s virtually impossible if you’ve NEVER experienced intimacy unless you take up the monastic life and meditate all day.

On 8/16/2022 at 9:29 AM, something_else said:

You believe you are just creepy people.

The thing is I realize I am not creepy. At this point it’s more a matter of unprocessed bitterness rage and fear. Though even back when I didn’t have that problem success was still just as scarce.

[Devin]

5 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Gotcha. It through me off because I didn’t know you were mainly referring to that part. 

It may be possible to have a fulfilled life as a single, but only if you have had plenty of experience already. It’s virtually impossible if you’ve NEVER experienced intimacy unless you take up the monastic life and meditate all day.

i disagree, I think you're following a lie putting pu$$ie on a pedestal. Either way, anyone can find intimacy, you want help figuring out how, just start a thread I'm sure everyone will jump on helping you. It's easy

[Emotionalmosquito]

4 hours ago, Devin said:

you want help figuring out how, just start a thread I'm sure everyone will jump on helping you. 

I already have. I’ve also listened to Leo’s 4 part series as well as tons of rsd stuff. All it comes down to is I need to move to a larger city so I’ll have a larger number of women to practice on. (And I have nowhere even remotely close to enough money to do so) In a town of 50-70,000, you’re bound to run into the same girls eventually. Very bad for your local rep. 

4 hours ago, Devin said:

It's easy

Hilarious 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Emotionalmosquito

[Devin]

3 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I already have. I’ve also listened to Leo’s 4 part series as well as tons of rsd stuff. All it comes down to is I need to move to a larger city so I’ll have a larger number of women to practice on. (And I have nowhere even remotely close to enough money to do so) In a town of 50-70,000, you’re bound to run into the same girls eventually. Very bad for your local rep. 

Hilarious 

Mind directing me to your thread, I haven't figured out this forum well enough yet to navigate well

 

It's easy, you don't need to practice you just need to lose the ignorance you've been taught that's holding you back

Edited August 19, 2022 by Devin

[Emotionalmosquito]

I’d have to dig for it but it’s a story about how I tried to be interesting and unique in a bar. I ended up getting permabanned and blacklisted without warning because of it. Strange considering Leo says things to girls that are ten times worse than anything I’ve said and that’s perfectly fine.  

It wasn’t directly a thread for helping me get laid but it was useful because people gave me feedback on how I could have done and said things differently.

[something_else]

2 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I’d have to dig for it but it’s a story about how I tried to be interesting and unique in a bar. I ended up getting permabanned and blacklisted without warning because of it. Strange considering Leo says things to girls that are ten times worse than anything I’ve said and that’s perfectly fine.  

You've probably heard this a bunch but it's almost all about how you say it not what you say

Quote

In a town of 50-70,000

This does explain a lot of your problems. Small towns are much more cliquey and sensitive to people who are perceived as outsiders which you are automatically if you make basic social errors. I live in a 100k town, and although it is a university town (so it's still quite busy socially) it's a noticeable different to the 700k city near me

Edited August 19, 2022 by something_else

[Devin]

53 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I’d have to dig for it but it’s a story about how I tried to be interesting and unique in a bar. I ended up getting permabanned and blacklisted without warning because of it. Strange considering Leo says things to girls that are ten times worse than anything I’ve said and that’s perfectly fine.  

It wasn’t directly a thread for helping me get laid but it was useful because people gave me feedback on how I could have done and said things differently.

Okay well I'll post here then.

Are you looking for a highly specific type of woman? Are you being choosy? Or do you think no woman will be with you?

[Razard86]

On 8/10/2022 at 9:03 PM, Jake Chambers said:

READ THIS POST - MY STORY HAS VALUE FOR YOUR LIFE

It's a tough world bro. If women don't like you, you should not value them so much as to still pursue them in such hard manners. Why would you have to go through all the menial hoops of society and unconscious, almost demonic self betterment just to get women to like you, when you are in fact already so worthy?  Like you said, you take care of yourself, have interests and hobbies but women still don't give a fuck about you, and leave you in the dust like are you don't even exist at all.

There is some partial truth in the incel ideology that this is because of the emancipation of women. Giving women all the freedom, economic possibilities and cultural praise to pursue their sexual interests in complete disregard to the structure of society has caused women to cater to the highest specimens of men in the world, not only looks wise, but also status, influence and wealth, with status being the most value raising.

However, I am going to state a theorem that has also contributed to the current hypergamy situation, and it is actually something that men have done, and not women:

The dissolution of the uniformity of men in western civilisation, has created a disparity and competition between men, in where men are either raised to the top or dragged down to the bottom.

What this means is that while it is true that in the current hypergamy, women go after the most high value men in disproportionate ratios, the uniformity of the total group of men have caused these "high value" and "low value" men to even exist in the first place. We as men have increased competition and individualism between ourselves, causing our perceived values to polarize.  We as men, have decided there exists losers (ugly janitors) and winners (handsome bankers), and women's judging of the value of men is only a reflection of these competitive and polarizing values that we as men have enforced in our society.

Men used to be more uniform, for example in the 1950s. All men wore the same (literally a uniform), namely a suit. Religion and morals were more at play. Men had respect for each other. Of course you still had the "chads" and "virgins" of that time, but it was less polarized. Whereas a chad nowadays can fuck 30 women in one week if he wants to, and our most bottom losers literally are virgins till they die, it used to be that a chad in the 1950s got married at 25 and that woman would of course think herself as lucky, but said chad was then placed out of the dating/sex market. and the losers of the 1950s would get married eventually, probably to a less attractive woman than chad, but compare that to now where the bottom men literally have nothing. The degeneration of traditional values when considering sex, dating and marriage has caused this situation to exist, and both men and women are to blame.

=========================

 

I will leave you with the consideration of two options, that I will list out in a moment.

This is the very fork in the road that I stood on a few years ago. I know how you feel.

One is to go super hard on raising your value and chasing after girls. 

You know exactly what I mean. Getting more money, getting more status, becoming a better manipulator, becoming shredded, doing everything you can in your life to become high value, and then attracting the girls you want and can at your level. It is like playing an RPG like Skyrim, you do everything for yourself and to gain everything for yourself, leveling up your character and attaining material riches, with the disregard for others and sensitivity to holism.

The second one is to be an ascetic and walk the spiritual path.

This is to detach from your sexual desires and become a yogi, and living your life in accordance to spiritual values. simple as that. 

I have stood exactly before this fork in the road a few years ago. I was a bitter young man who lost his virginity to a prostitute, was doing some criminal things, and bitter at the world and women for being like this. Like you I read into incel ideology and realized there was truth to it and the hypergamy idea.

So I had this vision of my life to raise my value so high, so extremely high that I would be in the top 0.01% of men. to make more than a 100 mil, and have a lot of status and power. Mind you I wanted to be an extreme criminal, In my dreams setting up cybercriminal enterprises (I had the technical understanding and methodological knowledge to) and reinvesting into drugs, and hiring street criminals to be my goons, giving me not only money but also status and power in the streets. Like i said i was already in that environment and mindset at the time. I basically wanted to be a crime boss and If I had chosen that path I would now have been it or already dead or in jail. I saw before me the choice to go on this path, I was so angry and bitter that I didn't care about the consequences to myself to be dead or in jail, or the consequences that my crimes would have had on other people.

I basically had before me the most extreme and demonic version of the first option that I gave you, the option to raise your value as a man. My self-confidence and self-image was so low that I thought I had to do everything in my power to raise my value up, and that leaving any room for morals would just decrease my results and remind me of my own perceived incompetence and low self-esteem. Also my vision that women had no morals in their hypergamy and that the world was almost void of morals anyway (in my eyes at the time) made me think, "why should I then have any morals?"

But in the contemplation of this vision I knew I was choosing to be a demon if I went this way. I was not rationalising that I would be good. The question really became, "Is becoming a demon worth chasing these material possessions?" Of course a part of any human actually takes joy in doing evil things. But I just knew the concept of a higher self meant something real, mostly through my youtube watching of the RSD evolution, and other self development and some spiritual videos, and even Leo's videos. (thanks Leo) I wasn't really into it at that time that much, it was more of a pasttime activity to just watch these video while being high, but this concept of development was alive in some way in my mind.

I contemplated the end of my life of my successful crime boss vision of life. I envisioned having made 100s of millions, then quitting my criminal enterprises and laundering and investing my money in legit businesses while still keeping my street contacts and goons. I would fuck a lot of models and club sluts while blowing my money in clubs and just being and allround asshole. Even when transitioning to legit business It would still only revolve around making profit just like how bankers think. I would then marry some hot girl and get a huge house and raise kids, get them to the best schools while I would just travel the world, fuck whores and not let anyone fuck with me. eventually become old and die and pass on my wealth to my kids.

I Just realized, Is that it? is this what I'm going to risk my life and freedom for, and damage and hurt other people and take their wealth for? just that I can be some fat mafioso millionaire with a trophy wife? To sacrifice all morals and humane sensitivity for?

Then I realized, this isn't it. This vision of life is shit.

But this didn't solve my problem. Because what was right about the crime boss life vision is that it was extremely competitive.  At least it allowed me to rise up the ranks and gain access to hot women, and give houses and wealth to my family and friends, and allow me to have children and pass on wealth to them. And even though I decided that a life of crime and wealth wasn't for me, I was now stuck where I began, with an extreme bitterness and resentfulness to women and the world.

That's when I entered a deep depression because I had realised I didn't want to be evil, but this would not protect me from the evils of others and society. My evil life vision had only been a search for the protection of the evils of others. I did not want to be rejected by beautiful yet hypergamous females, I did not want to be walked over by other men, I did not want to be a financial loser, so being a criminal fixed all of these things. Now that I had rejected this vision of life and rejected the disregarding of morality, my vision of the future and self-image became a lot more vulnerable to the things I was already fearing and suffering from. I also did not find out my new values, even though I had lost my old materialistic ones, I was not yet familiar with spiritual values and spiritual life possibilities. In this depression I found out a lot more about spirituality and started listening to many teachers, and started learning about magic mushrooms. In mushroom trips I found a new vision for life and seen the possibilities of the spiritual riches that can enter your consciousness, and that your consciousness is. 

The catch was that I of course still desired sex with women, and with the hottest women of course. The karma of having had entertained such an extreme materialistic vision of life left me constantly thinking back of it, and being angry at the thought of not having the hottest women. Thoughts like, "Maybe I can still get laid with some women, but in my old vision of life I would have access to the hottest women, even though I would be an evil dick! life is so unfair! Maybe I should go back to my old vision and start up my criminal schemes again." 

My ego was so unsatisfied and still so resentful at women that it constantly thought back of my prior vision and criminal incel mentality. That is when I realised that in my situation, I would have to practically become an ascetic, to completely dislodge my old mentality and karma. I realized that in my life, the desire of women and my radical do or die criminal mentality (which was also born from childhood trauma) had become entangled in such an unhealthy manner that I realised I had to let go of all desire for women, and become ascetic. Because my demonic life vision was so radical I had to create a yogic life vision with equal radicalness.

Which I did. I completely changed as a person by committing to the detachment of my desires. In the following years I travelled the world, a lot of it by foot, and did a lot of spiritual practice, and picked up playing guitar and played a lot. Mind you I did have sex with a girl while travelling in India, but this situation was super natural. I just striked up a conversation with her in a town square without demonic intent and she was super into me from the get go. I really respected her for this and it just flowed from there. Like Sadhguru said "Sex in the body is fine, it is when it enters the mind that it becomes a problem". This was a perfect example of that. This was how it always goes for chad, a girl is just super into you and you have sex. For an incel he knows he has to chase girls and win them over which creates this mental resentment which is very unhealthy and can spiral out of control in extreme ways like it almost did for me. My life has been amazing now and I am liberated in so many aspects. I feel Gods love everyday and It feels like I'm free from my earthly bounds, And I have had a lot of deep psych trips and also very peacefully deep sober states of consciousnesses. 

But I just literally never chase girls and I'm ok if I never have sex again. That is the cost I had to pay for leaving my old demonic life behind and starting a new life.

So what is the moral of my story for you and other men? It boils down to this: Your desires control your life.

Most men live only for sex. Almost all men have a demonic life vision just like I had. I just had a very radical one. But everyone who wants to be succesful, to get money, to get status, its basically the same as wanting to be a crime boss. It's just a matter of degree. A banker has a legal job, yes, but is basically a legal mafioso who makes a lot of money and fucks beautiful women and thinks hes better than everyone. A doctor who wants status and money and a house with a wife still basically has the same values of a crime boss. It's just a matter of degree of morality, in the end he wants to have sex with beautiful women, thats it. even though he of course is a lot more functional in society, he heals people. but that is just a side effect, the ego is so much more important to humans. and the dark part is that for many people it is not the morals holding them back from being a lot more demonic than they are at the moment, but their lack of balls, and fear that they will go to jail and will be rejected by society and their family. 

the only reason most men build up their careers and live their entire lives in the way that they do is to fuck the hottest women they can fuck and remain as unconscious as they can be about it. It's just that some men are more unconscious, dark triad and radical than others. that's literally it.

I just explained almost all of human history to you. Almost all conquering of lands, of war, of slavery, of society has all been men chasing after the hottest sex and nice houses and resources. All of history is basically a bunch of incels not wanting to be incels.

I'm not saying men are evil for this, this is just the drive of desire and I have actually just explained almost all evil in the world to you. It's just to get laid with hot women and have more resources.

This is not a misantrophic essay! I am not saying humans are evil. I am just saying human lives are mostly driven by selfish action like any other creature on this planet. and chasing sex is the biggest chase of all. And If hypergamy has become so bad, having you waste so much energy and time on chasing and manipulating women that wouldn't want you in the first place, isn't that just the biggest waste of life?

So I advice you to consider soft asceticism in your life, which is to be ascetic and not chase sex unless a girl is just super into you and it flows naturally. and also not fap. Of course in the first world this means basically never getting laid. So try travelling the world and just meet a lot of people. And if it doesn't work it it's ok. You have to be completely OK with never having sex or children in your life again. I know it's a hard decision mentally to make but it does level you above the samsaric game of survival that we as human apes are playing. But asceticism truly saved my life. 

Hypergamy and dating and sex being so hard for you just leverages the spiritual ascetic life to be of less cost to you because you are losing less anyway. And consider the other option, what is your equivalent of the demonic life vision, of being a crime boss like I wanted to be? It's probably better than my demonic vision, but in essence it's the same. It's sacrificing spiritual values to raising your societal and material value in life to get laid with more and hotter women.

Of course, you would want to know, Isn't there a way in between? Isn't there a way to raise your sexual marketplace value but still maintain spiritual values and personal and spiritual development and not get lost in the karma of sexual desire?

Yes there is, but the question is do you want to take it?. In my case, the option was not there because the demonic pull towards my demonic life vision was so strong that I had to make the radical decision to become ascetic, to completely let go of this past karma that I had.

This "in between vision" is basically the vision that Leo follows and wants you to follow. His philosophy is as follows:

You can be spiritual but there is no escaping the desires and everyday situations of survival.

In some way it is true, you still have to eat etc. But I would still disagree with him. Because there is a way to transcend your desires and live a completely spiritual life, meaning there is an escaping of desires possible. 

Also, do you really want to chase women? To go on 1000s of approaches to only get laid a handful times? to go through so much bullshit that women who are out have to say, just to get in their pussy? You are basically saying, I'm worth so little, and women are worth so much, that I am going by them one by one like a beggar begging you for a quarter. Some people just like it, and like Leo says, you do become a great at socialising. But it's still just a game of manipulation. 

Also keep in mind, Leo's only spiritual practices are doing psychedelics, meaning he doesn't feel the need to transcend the material life in his sober day to day life with the excuse that his trips are already so deep. 

But do you really want to be like this? To tell everyone that you are the most awake human ever, To tell everyone they are God and imagined their parents , constantly critiquing and calling out other people's bullshit, but still hit the weekend going out sarging like this? :

I would not. But that is just me. I am just trying to show you, there is tremendous possibility in asceticism. I had to do it because of all of my problems, so I am not saying you have to. But if women don't like you anyway like you said, the cost of asceticism becomes so much lower and i am telling you bro, the benefits are so great. And if you decide to still chase women and chase raising your material value, how demonic will you become in the process? How much of your, time, energy spiritual potential will you waste, just to get laid?

Do you want to be like this or this? or this picture of leo of above?

Yes, of course these are only extremes, and yes , there exists an in between. Through my story I have shown you the extremes like the borders of a football field. Now the field is defined for you. Play however you want.

 

1. There is no difference between a crime boss and Jesus. This post is judgmental. Yes the more God like one can attain as a form the more good they can spread. But from the absolute perspective it is of no consequence.

2. A human life is no more profound than a grain of sand on a beach. In God's eyes an ant, a grain of sand, and a human life are equal. 

3. I resonate with the drive to live a higher life....but right now you are creating separation and judging which means you are still seeing divisions. 

4. I applaud your personal efforts, but you still have deep seated judgment you need to transcend. There is nothing wrong with Leo Gura socializing, Sadhguru socializes more than anybody on this forum. Socializing isn't evil or something to look down upon. Everything is perfection, to demonize one aspect of reality is to demonize ALL OF IT as it is all ONE. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 8/19/2022 at 2:23 PM, Devin said:

Are you looking for a highly specific type of woman? Are you being choosy?

Anyone whose at least equal to me in attractiveness and not fat or a bitch works for me

On 8/19/2022 at 1:54 PM, something_else said:

Small towns are much more cliquey and sensitive to people who are perceived as outsiders which you are automatically if you make basic social errors 

Yep. It’s almost like normies can’t comprehend the fact that there’s a whole world out there, full of all different types of folks.

[something_else]

10 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Yep. It’s almost like normies can’t comprehend the fact that there’s a whole world out there, full of all different types of folks.

This is not the right attitude to have

[Emotionalmosquito]

@something_else yes yes I know. Part of it is on me as I need to learn to adjust depending on who I’m talking to. It’s just frustrating and confusing. Especially as someone suspected to be on the spectrum.